A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just found out my next door neighbor declared her love to my husband. She called him to make the confession. A few weeks ago I noticed they exchanged a "look" and when I stared at her, she felt uncomfortable. There have been many signs and now I an just shocked, angered and saddened. He says he doesn't love her but felt comfort with her and she reminded him of a previous ex. He was the one who came clean with me but I can't believe he has had feelings. What do I do next???? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013): To so Very Confused, I am the OP:No there was no physical affair, but I feel betrayed nonetheless as there have been many "looks" that were exchanged, and one in particular that made me confront my husband a few weeks ago. He came clean to me yesterday as soon she told him she loved him. I am angered because he said his head was messed up and felt like he had an infatuation for her. He did however respond to her was flattered but there is nothing more to pursue or consider. Deep inside though, I feel like he has unresolved "feelings" or issues from his past since he is linking her to his ex. He also has more in common with than him and I do, but he also has been neglecting me the past years (nothing to do with this recent neighbor). He also blames me for not paying attention to him and that this void was filled with attention elsewhere. But not sure why he doesn't allow me to fill the void and then complains. It makes no sense, and I hope that his "feelings" will subside because he still makes a case for her against her husband whom she hates and claims she wants to divorce (also part of the confession she made to him).
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (7 August 2013):
 You sit down with hubby and say: "You know, Hunchy Bunchy, our neighbor is smitten with you... and would love to bed your for her pleasure....... and I know it.... and YOU know it..... Sooooo, I can't help but ask: Would you like to slip your manhood in to her? ... and, thereby, finish the "marriage" that we are now living????? OR, would you like to say to her, "Thanks for your attentions, neighboring tart, but I think that the marriage that I have is pretty darn good, and I would not DREAM of compromising it just to have a momentary feel-good moment with you"......"
That should do the trick...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 August 2013):
 I’m confused… your neighbor has declared her love for your husband to him. HE has not declared his love for HER to you or to her correct? So far no problem.
You said they exchanged “a look”. I’m not sure what this “look” means but your assumption that “she felt uncomfortable” seems odd to me… I assume you mean she did something that indicates to you that she felt uncomfortable with your staring at her. Personally if you were mad at them for sharing a look, the person you need to stare at is your spouse. YOU have no control over how your neighbor thinks, acts or feels to be honest.
There are many signs of WHAT? That she has a crush on your hubby? You are shocked angered and saddened at what? Was there a physical affair that I’m missing? Has anything but her admission of love for your spouse happened?
Is your husband saying he does not love her but felt comfort with her and she reminds him of an ex partner all that’s upsetting you? Because if that’s all that’s happened I am not sure what the issue is.
What did you husband say to her when she told him this? How he handles her will tell you what to do. IF he told her “that’s nice, I’m flattered, I’m not interested, I love my wife and I’m committed to my marriage.” Then nothing need be done or said….
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (7 August 2013):
 I'm guessing she's this lonely spinster that is wanting to sink her claws into any lawn care worker, post man, neighbor's husband she can get. She may have a low self worth and a serious issue with throwing herself at men.
I applaud your husband for telling you. It shows that he's not looking to stray, but may feel confused about your neighbor. I'd speak with him about his feelings towards her, making sure they're strictly platonic...and also talk about your marriage. Just make sure there is no deep rooted problems that you may be overlooking.
I'd also have a firm chat with your neighbor and tell her to stay out of your lives.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013): Thanks, I am the poster of this question. I thanked him many times for being a man by saying the truth to me, and that his honesty means a lot, but I am very hurt. He says that this happened not because he had feelings but because of the lack of attention from me. The thing is I feel that he doesn't give me attention either, and if anything has a temper with me, so it is hard to get close to him when a lot of time he is angry and moody. I have told my husband that I will not let anyone ruin my marriage over a confession, which has no place, and she should have had the integrity to keep her mouth shut and swallow her feelings. It was selfish of her to try to ruin my family and hers, and I will be sure to tell her to stay out of our lives for good, and I will probably consider moving as well. If any of you have gone through something like this, please share. I feel like I can get past this because admiration of another person can be a human thing, but I am very very hurt that there was an implicit communication going on between them and this has now surfaced. My husband is very disturbed about what has happened and is also sad that he has hurt me and doesn't want to lose me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013): Well at least your husband came clean and told you about it, some men with not going to tell their wife's cause they don't want to make them angry. You should call your neighbor and confront her about it make sure she knows that your husband told you about everything and that you guys don't keep secrets from each other and that your going to stand by your marriage no matter what. Don't let this woman win...you stand your ground, talk to your husband & thank him for being honest with you and don't be angry at him for having those feelings....men sometimes likes the attention & excitement they get from other women but that does NOT going to make them cheat....trust me it happen to my husband and I. If your blame your husband for having those feeling he might not going to tell you anything about her anymore bc he don't want you to get angry at him.
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