A
female
age
30-35,
*ania15
writes:So I met a guy that's 2 years younger than me last year in November, we really got along well and were going on dates till he completely stopped speaking to me at a stage, then eventually he said he couldn't be in a relationship at that time. So my confidence was shattered and I decided to start dieting and gyming, I lost 20kgs! About a month and a half later he saw me at gym and started speaking to me on BBM again, and silly me i fell 4 him all over again, but after just 3 weeks he started ignoring me again! Now this has been going on all year! He sometimes randomly starts flirting with me and tries and kiss me if we see each other out but then completely ignores me! I'm really so tired of this and I know I deserve better! Should I just completely delete him off BBM? I want him to realize now that I'm no longer an option!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2013): If you know it will result in disappointment then yes, it would be wise to break contact with him. If you happen to bump into him in a public place, just act in a dismissive manner. Have no more online contact with him and be far from friendly with him in personal situations... He should get the message. But make sure you're clear that he will only mess you around yet again and don't fall for anything that you find attractive about him, otherwise you've only got yourself to blame.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (12 August 2013):
 The "answer" to your question is right there in your posting. To wit:
"...I'm really so tired of this and I know I deserve better! Should I just completely delete him off BBM? (yes). I want him to realize now that I'm no longer an option! (Then, don't be (an option))."
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (12 August 2013):
Hi there. Perhaps when you have dated before, he gets scared when he realizes he might be falling in love with you.
And so then he backs off - much like you have described here.
And no contact from him for a while, to let the dust settle a bit.
This might be how he is with the girls he dates.
He probably was being honest with you, when he said before that he wasn't ready for a relationship.
And the reason could have been, that he believed it could have affected his studies.
That's if he is still in school.
And if he is not still in school, well then it might just be that he really isn't emotionally ready for any kind of serious relationship.
And by him saying that to you, he at least was being fairly honest.
It is probably a wise move now, for you to not allow yourself to get too involved with him - other than friendship only.
And if he asks you out again, maybe you should say you can't, and that you have something already arranged.
And don't be angry or upset, just stay calm and keep it light.
And don't be too available, because it seems he just isn't in the right place for relationships at the moment.
And he might not be, for quite some time yet.
And so you need to protect yourself from getting hurt and disappointed.
The more you go out with him, the more you set yourself up for getting hurt - again and again.
Think about it very carefully.
Life is too short to be unhappy.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (12 August 2013):
 yep, you get him out of your life. he's just using you for his own fun and enjoyment when he feels like getting attention and having a good time. he's flaky and he'll always be like that towards you. remove him from your life.
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A
female
reader, Bu  +, writes (12 August 2013):
Dont even bother to talk with him again.This man is playing with you. Just move on. You deserve better.You deserve someone who treats you with respect and dignity.
And you deserve to like yourself and never let people do this with you again.
Move on and good luck.
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