A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We've been together for 3 yrs now. We've lived together for a yr until we graduated college. I still see him everyday and spend most of my days with him. When we first started sleeping together, we would play around in bed almost every night (we didn't want to do sex bc we both didn't feel ready). However, over the course of that yr, he became less and less inclined to do anything in bed. I have gotten upset multiple times with him, while in bed, over this. His response was always that he's tired or he needs to get up early for class or he wasn't feeling well. But then, even on days when we didn't have class, he would say he's tired or make up some other excuse. It got to the point where we would only play around like maybe once every month. Sometimes, after being intimate in bed, I would ask him if we could have sex and he would say that he would get condoms. But, he never would. I know for a fact that he's a guy who's always stressed out about his school work and career, which is very understandable. But, I also know that he would watch porn. Not regularly, but more than being intimate with me. I even brought this to his attention, yet he would just laugh guiltily or say he's sorry and that he'd be a better boyfriend. I mean, we've even showered together multiple times and sometimes, I felt like he didn't want that either.Currently, even though we don't sleep together, I see him everyday. He's studying for his LSAT and as always, he's stressed out about it. For the past few days, I've been complaining to him about how we never do intimate things anymore and he told me (Again) that he's stressed out about the exam and the amount of money (which is honestly a lot) for his private tutoring. But, I still found that he'd watched porn in the last few days. When I brought this to his attention, he said that he just wants to get his work done and since he lives alone, he gets bored sometimes and that leads to him watching it. He doesn't watch it every single day, and I really don't have a problem with him watching it, but clearly he can prioritize being intimate with me if he can make time to watch those videos, regardless of if he's stressed out or not. He always tells me that i have bad timing in terms of doing anything intimate. But, can every single night I ask him be bad timing?? Why does everything have to work on his clock? I told him I feel rejected by him because no matter how much he tells me that my timings bad, or he's tired, or stressed out, or that he has a low sex drive, he clearly doesn't or he wouldn't be watching those videos.In the 3 yrs together, we've been through a lot. He knows that I'm a positive influence in his life. But, I just don't understand why he's never very intimate. I mean, if we're alone, he'll touch me intimately, but I always have to ask for him to do anything more than that. I've asked him if there's something wrong with my body. I'm brown and my vagina is slightly darker than the rest of my body. I asked him today if finds my vagina dirty because every time he looks at it, he gives it this disgusting look. It took him a few seconds to answer that question, so maybe thats it?? I don't know. I don't want to break up with him over this. It seems like he wants to work on this problem with me, but he's been willing to do that before too and that hasn't gotten us too far. What should I do? Break up with him?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 October 2014):
 Q: "What should I do? Break up with him?"
A: Yes.
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