A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've liked this guy for a few years now but last year he admitted that he liked me and we made out, nothing more. We texted a lot but that faded away. Since then I have become good friends with his sister and now view him a bit more as 'my friends brother'. Recently while on vacation we were making out (and stuff) again but this time i felt guilty because i know she would find it really weird. But the guy and i started this whole thing before we were friends. Should i tell her?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 October 2014):
 If you want to tell someone that you kissed (and made out with....) this guy, I suggest that it be your dog, or parakeet, or your smart phone. It's none of your guy's sister's business.....
If'n you and he choose to become "an item".... then she will, undoubtedly, learn of that... and THAT is all she needs to know.....
Good luck....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2014): If you're heading into friends with benefits territory, that is nothing a sister might want to hear about her brother and her best friend.
If don't see each other that much, I'm inclined to feel there's no reason to kiss and tell. What makes you think he hasn't told her already? You're just making out, and that seems like a private matter just between two consenting adults.
If you decide to take it to another level, and you decide to start dating; then you can let her know. If he hasn't told her yet, why do you have to? Don't you think you both ought to tell her together? You don't want her judging you if it goes nowhere.
Did you neglect to mention his age for some reason? I would suspect she would only object, if she felt he was under-aged. Otherwise, why does it matter?
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (6 October 2014):
You should tell your friend because this is the second time so there is obviously something between you and her brother, even if it is just chemistry and a casual thing. If it were part of the dim and distant past, and neither of you wanted her to know, I’d question the point of telling her. But as this has gone on twice, and you don’t say you’ve both agreed it will never happen again, it’s only right that she hears it from one of you. It’s not like you’ve done anything wrong, firstly because this started before you got close to his sister, and even if you were already friends with her, it’s still not wrong. If I were you though I wouldn’t repeat this as you might get attached so best to keep some distance unless there’s a mutual desire to actually date properly. Don’t slip in to a friends with benefits pattern even if it is just kissing.
I wish you all the very best.
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