A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Last month, I met this guy online and we hit it off really well. I gave him my number, and we have been texting every day since …We went on one date, 3 weeks ago and it went great! All kinds of sparks, and he was very romantic and attentive. I really like him, and had assumed that he really liked me. BUT…he has been reluctant to schedule or keep a second date with me since then. Every time I say “when can we get together again?” he just says “soon.” I had been giving him the benefit of the doubt. Then this past week, He had thrice indicated that he wanted to get together with me, and he even asked if I wanted to get together Thursday. Of course I said yes, and that I was looking forward to seeing him again. However, Thursday came, and he did not contact me about going out. Friday morning he texted me his usual good morning message and also apologized for not getting in touch with me about getting together Thurs.He explained that he was depressed about some things that were going on with his health, and that he needed surgery…I accepted his apology, and said that maybe we could get together Sunday. Over the weekend, he had texted me that he was still not feeling well and upset over the pending surgery; Sunday we did not get together. I’m understanding about his health issues—because I have a few of my own that I deal with and I understand that can be stressful. I even told him I am here if he needs to talk…Also, this may seem small but Almost every morning since we had met he had texted me good morning, and good night. He did not text me “good morning” today…and that’s odd. He did text me good night, last night…but today he neglected to send me a “good morning” text which is considerably odd, since I always hear from him between 7:30am and 8:10am on a weekday. He did text me “good night” last night, and even sweet talked me a bit. But do you think there’s something else going on here…? I had been very patient, and giving him the benefit of the doubt (especially now, in light of his health issues). I’ve just been playing things by ear to see what his next move is… But, this is the third weekend he neglected to get together with me in person. I’m trying very hard to resist the temptation to “chase him” so I usually wait for him to suggest dates, or make the next move, rather than asking him out. But it’s becoming very disturbing that he makes no effort to see me. (And, yes I know how it goes with online dating and that I’m probably not the only girl he is talking to). I just don’t know where I stand with him…Is he just stringing me along? Should give up and move on? Or, should I just sit tight and see if he makes any efforts to see me this coming weekend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all 3 of you for your great advice. I did give him the benefit of the doubt this weekend, and he broke yet another date with me...
It's clear this "relationship" (if you can even call it that) is going nowhere, and I just need to move on from it.
I really appreciated all 3 of you lending perspective to this situation.
It helped to shine some light on things...and is also helping me to give up and move on. Thanks! :)
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 September 2014):
 I think this is a case of a lonely guy who can't "multi-task", with that, I mean HE WANTS company, someone to talk to and confide in, but his MAIN concern is his health and HIS future.
I don't know what surgery he is going in for and when, but I think he is a LOT more worried about it than he lets on. Which is why he can send the "happy" good night and good morning calls but can't seem to handle another date.
It doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't interested, but I seriously think he can't focus on dating AND his health atm.
I'd say give him till this weekend and if he does nothing, I would look elsewhere for a guy to date. I would not bring up wanting to see him, he KNOWS you want to see him.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 September 2014):
 About this phrase that you included: "...some things that were going on with his health, and that he needed surgery..."
Considering that YOU sound like a delightful young woman, who has tried to send him all the right messages that you are interested.... I can only conclude that the surgery he needs is to get his head examined!!!!
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (29 September 2014):
 You've got a life to live. He's forgoten his brain somewhere else. Fools are a dime a dozen find a new one. He has to live with hi own stupidity not you. You can't fix stupid.
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