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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: We just stopped talking to each other after an almost five year relationship. Literally. I suspected him of cheating after I found out he was going on a trip with a female co-worker and even if it was purely innocent, he never told me and this was a pattern with him. I just felt disrespected. I work a lot, my family depends on me and finally, after hearing how much he missed me and missing him too, I took a day off to spend with him-told him three weeks in advance... he decides to go to a BBQ with friends. But asks me if I want to hang out an hour before he goes. I say no, hurt. So I hang out with my best friend and her boyfriend, he finds out and gets pissed. We don't talk for days except by text for "small talk." It's been a month since we saw each other or spoke and I consider myself single. I've even gone on a date or two. But my friend says we're not "over" till we both talk about it. I disagree. There's a lot of shit he put me through over the years and he's 38 now so I doubt he'll change. I loved him but now, I'm pretty sure that I don't want him. Am I obligated to tell him?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2014): No I would say you need to tell him if that's how you feel.
Granted he doesn't sound the best but he might be reconsidering things so its best to let people know where they stand
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (27 September 2014):
 What? you are pretty sure? What does that mean?If you are sure you are not obligated to do anything except file and sign the papers. If you're not sure you have an obligation to yourself to figure it out. Otherwise, he knows just sign the papers when they arrive.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (26 September 2014):
Nope. Let him try to figure it for for himself. You've done your part....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 September 2014):
 Are you obligated? No. But is it common decency to SPELL it out? yes.
Think of it as a "closure" for you. Letting go of the dead weight.
I'm pretty sure he knows what's up, and that he probably sees himself as single, but if he is avoiding you, my guess is he isn't ready to let YOU go. And to that... I would not let HIM decide when HE is ready. Therefore, I'd call and end it. Or met up and end it. I would NOT text and end it or end it on FB or something like that, but a phone call? yea, that would do.
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