A
female
age
26-29,
*oyalbutaccused
writes:So my fiancé thinks that its okay to look at girls who are way skinnier than me and then gets mad when a guy looks at me in a good way. He consistantly will do this right in front of me then tells me that im an attention whore and wants me to wear something different.Or he hits my ass and says he is not abuseing me because spanking is allowed. Please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 September 2014):
 Abuse can be physical (spanking is abuse if you don't want to be spanked) mental and/or emotional (calling you names, insulting you, calling you attention whore, trying to control what you wear, who you see or what you do)
YES you are being abused.
IF you stand up for yourself and say NO to his abuse the probability is that he will leave since he can't have his way.
IF he doesn't leave you should end it.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (28 September 2014):
 Idon't think this stupidity rises to the level of abuse, we need to be careful what actions we put into that awful catagory lest we dilute it and get thigs al fuzzy. It sounds to me he's what we used to call a 'cad'(insensitive clod). If this truly bothers you then I suggest a full on confrotation or a split up.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 September 2014):
 Your fiance "sounds" like a jerk... the kind that I routinely tell young women like you to dump and get away from..... Do yourself that favor, and you will never regret it....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, moon river  +, writes (27 September 2014):
 Woah. Abuse isn't always physical. He sounds like a total control freak and like he has the potential to be a lot worse. Dump him before its even harder
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 September 2014):
 I have to agree at 17 you are far to young to even consider marriage. But more over the fact that you aren't sure he is treating you wrong/right means you reallllllly aren't ready.
How is it EVER OK for a guy to call is GF a whore (even if he uses the term attention whore)? Never.
YOU already know this is all kind of wrong, your GUT is telling you this is not HOW it should be. And you are right.
AT ANY AGE it really is better to have NO BF, then an abusive asshat like yours.
Come on now, want MORE for yourself. You know you deserve more so why settle for this immature jerk?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2014): Dump his ass.
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A
male
reader, Forge +, writes (27 September 2014):
 Ditch this guy. It's abuse, and it's VERY wrong. I agree 100% with Abella, and I couldn't have worded it better.
-Førg€
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 September 2014):
 Your fiancé is definitely not husband material yet. Gee he's not even boyfriend material.
He is abusive and disrespectful towards you.
Spanking? You did nothing wrong. does he spend all day watching porn?
If there is any part of your body that you don't want touched, or NOT touched the way he touches you then you do have a right to say NO. You should only ever need to say NO once and he should respect that NO.
How Dare a so called fiancé call his girl a whore; that is disgraceful disrespect. There is NO justification for that level of disrespect.
You are quite capable of choosing your own clothing. He has no rights to demand that you wear something different.
He's full of double standards and by ogling other girls he demonstrates that he is not BF yet.
At 17 it is far to young for you to be tied down.
Enjoy your youth. You SHOULD be observing guys, see how well they behave, see how respectful they are towards other.
You really do not need to tolerate this abuse.
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