A
female
age
30-35,
*amSam04
writes:Hi. I'm confused and need advice. I like this guy and love talking to him. He admitted he also likes me and would go on a date with me when he is in the city. We have had all night long conversations but why am I ALWAYS the one to initiate? Sometimes he doesn't even reply or talk with interest. I always end up feeling like a fool and a pest. I know he is shy and too much into work and studies lately but he can also be the one to show he is interested. I am really attracted to him and know he is nice otherwise. Should I just give it up and stop wasting my time on him? What can I do about this.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 October 2014):
 You're giving him a "pass" when you write: "... I know he is shy and too much into work and studies lately..."
Instead of making excuses for him... go back to your original story line: WHY doesn't this guy give me consistent signals that he likes - and is interested - in me?
My guess is, he isn't....
Good luck..
A
female
reader, Makayla5893  +, writes (4 October 2014):
It sounds like it's a pretty one sided deal you have there.. Meeting people half way is what relationships are all about, and if he's not showing genuine interest in the 'honeymoon' period, I doubt you're going to get much later on. I have had similar problems with guys I have started dating, and when I have found their interest fading, (such as not being the first to initiate contact, not putting in effort to organise going on a date) I have stopped contacting them to see if they will contact me. In both of my cases, it took them about 2 weeks to even send a message, by which stage I had zero time for them. He may be a nice guy, but he also may just not be that into you, as the saying goes. If a guy really likes a girl, he will make it happen. And if he doesn't, then he doesn't deserve you. Take a step back and see if he comes to you :) all the best!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 October 2014):
 I would back of for a bit and see if he starts to initiate, if he doesn't then you have your answer.
Being shy is all good and fine, but if he is so shy he can't show interest or text/call you, then I would look elsewhere.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2014): How far away does he live? Him saying he'll go on a date with you when he's in the city might just be a throwaway comment. Would you want a LDR anyway?
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