A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He is on a visa and in 11 months he must find a waiver job somewhere in the U.S. or he must go back to his home country. He has asked if I would move with him, but his options are limited.It is unlikely that he would be able to stay in this city with me.The problem is that I am still in college and plan to finish soon. However, I am scared that I may be giving up on the things that I would like to do. I do love him and would very much like to be with him but, this is a big step for both of us. What if we move to a city I hate? Or what if we move to another country? It would be so far from home and all I know. Plus, I am just worried that it may not work. Help! Should I take a chance or pursue my own thing? Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, Thanks to everyone who responded. Well I will be finishing school around the same time that he will be leaving. He is trying to work in this city but the chances are slim. Thanks for the honest answers. I think my boyfriend and I have a lot to talk about before we make any hasty desicion.(sp?)
A
female
reader, RitzaD. +, writes (13 August 2008):
 I personally think that u should finish school. And once ur done, then u can go after him wherever he's at. He can't be selfish and put u in a situation to choose between ur dreams or him.
u have made ur life there, and to just leave it would be a mistake. Im sure u know what u want, what does ur heart tell u? And what do u believe is the smartest choice? Ask ur self if in the long run is it worth it? Ull have ur answer.
Good luck, and keep us updated.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (13 August 2008):
 Hi,
they say love conquers all. But maybe that worked in the middle ages but its much harder today.
My opinion is if you are already umming and ahhing about it then don't do it. There are simply too many variables involved. You will both be under a lot of stress to start with, trying to find work, look after yourself, deal with immigration issues, pay bills , find somewhere to live, move to a new city etc.. these are not walks in the park at sunset holding hands or sitting under a palm tree drinking pina coladas, they are stressful things for any couple to deal with. It will take a lot of work and a lot of effort to make the relationship work.
If you give up your college and career it will be only make things worse, as you will always have the "what if.." hanging over you. Secondly if he is as committed to you as he thinks he is then leave it up to HIM to find a way to be with you in your city, not move to a strange place where you have no friends or family to back you up.
So at the end of the day, if he is really keen on making things work then leave it to him to stay with you, not the other way around, some people simply cannot cope with being away from loved ones and or moving around a lot. It never has been a problem for me, but I have seen people fall apart once they are away from people they care about.
Think about it and good luck.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 August 2008):
DON'T DO IT!!! I moved for a guy and it was only 4 hours away. I left a great job, my family, and set myself a year behind in college. Finish what you need to finish first; then consider moving with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): U really need to stay at college as u say u could move to some place u hate or then again u could move some place grate & spend the rest of ur life’s together.
But who’s to say in later life u would not start to resent ur b/f or ur relationship when u look back on throwing ur college work away?!
& what kind of life could u make for ur self with no qualifications?
U should stay at college then once college is do u could go join him else where.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): You have to stay and finish college and pursue your dreams. A lot of girls give up their dreams to follow their boyfriends only to find out that the relationship didn't work out and they are left with nothing.
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