A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Before I met my husband he had two children.we've been together for nine yrs and married for six yrs.I am pregnant with our third child my husband told me that if I have this baby it will make our relationship bad. he told me the way we intrepid the bible is all wrong. he says that its okay for married men to have sex other women and its not considered cheating. he said that if he wants to have sex with someone else he will.i told him i willleave if he wanted to have sex with other people. occasionally he stays out l ate at night. he tells me that a women shouldn't ask questions. he explains to me how he feels after I get pregnant with our third child. his mother has been living with us for almost a year now. she is not working and every time he and I have a heavy conversation ,she intrudes. he filed bankruptcy then we lost our car.to make matters worse I have to drive him and the children everywhere.since then he snaps at me and is angry all the time.he tells me that I'm not worth talking to.he doesn't want me to work and tells me that I can never make money like he can. iam lost for words.can someone tell me what's going on.maybe he is not happy anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): he is manipulative and a hypocrite! find someone who can and will appreciate you and ONLY you! you deserve better!
A
female
reader, littlesuziepie +, writes (16 August 2008):
 Please get away from this guy. He is abusing you. Your mental state will deteriorate fast if you stay there. Especially being pregnant. Your relationship has gone bad and no child can do that. He did it. Please don't let him torment you this way. He is wrong. He is so wrong about being with more than one woman. Listen you may be a religious person and read the bible but you do not need to stay with him. God doesn't want us to hurt each other. He is looking down at your family and is hurt for what this man is doing to you. Trust me. Please get as much courage up as you can and move out. You can do it. He is controlling you. He is poisoning your mind. I swear if you have think women are here to serve the man then fine but that man isn't supposed to lie to you. Cheat on you or make you sad. He should treat you like his queen if you are treating him as your king under god.
Be smart and strong. You can do his and pray for strength. He will give it to you. This situation is not right. Your husband isn't living gods will. He simply is not. Do not believe him. He sees you as weak and impressionable. He knows you will follow his instructions and not question his athority. Don't let him control you or your mind. Good luck and please if I have gotten this all wrong then let me know. Just reading your question and seeing your questioning his insane thoughts as truth makes me feel he has got you where he wants you but that you are smarter than that and something is telling you to question it. So listen to that voice. It could be the holy spirit telling you things are not right.
My dad was a pastor for a long time. I believe I have a close relationship with god. I know women that serve their husbands but those husbands are good truthful people that would never hurt their wives.
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A
female
reader, Typical'Ox  +, writes (16 August 2008):
 In my eyes, you should leave him, its obvious that you love him but you dont deserve that treatment. Dont you ever wonder why his last marrige went down the drain, leave him he's nothing but problems.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (16 August 2008):
Whatever issue he has, I don't think it has anything to do with you. He's unhappy with himself and with what has been happening in his life, so he has decided to bring you down with him, hence, misery loves company. He is totally degrading you and treating you like you are less of a person than he is. Like you can never make money like he can and that it isn't your place to ask questions as to his whereabouts. Does he know what year it is? I don't mean to stereotype, but I'm curious as to what country you two live in. I'm really sorry that you are in the position that you are in. He is treating you unfairly, and from what you said, it seems to be stemming from his own misery--so yes, I think he is unhappy; but not because of you. You have your children and unborn baby to think about. From what I read, it sounds like he would probably be pretty stubborn and wouldn't go for marriage counseling. The least you can do is try. If that fails, do what you can to try to be on your own. Which I know is not easy in the slightest being a single parent of three children. But obviously the relationship isn't working right now--being separated for a period of time may be what is needed for the time being.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): Your husband may be right about the interpretation of the bible, but what about what you want from him. Did you marry him with the agreement that he should have outside affairs? If not then he is morally wrong and is cheating. Remember this LOVE does not hurt, it does not make you suffer to prove that you are worthy. His mother should stay out of your relationship even if she lives with you. You need therapy to get your self-esteem up and stop being a doormat. Your children are watching and they will be either timid like you or aggressive and demanding and unfaithful like him.
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