A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My friend is 15 and has been with her 17 year old boyfriend for around eight months or something. They met online and have only really met up five times in the time they've been together (We live down south and he lives up north), yet I've found out that he asked her to marry him a couple of months ago, and they plan to marry when they are 18.Personally I'm pleased for them and glad that they're happy and all...but does my friend really know what she's doing? Obviously I've not told her of these doubts as it's not my place to interfere, but at the same time I wouldn't want her to marry him so young then regret making such a commitment. Am I right to just allow them to get on with it, or should I be trying to do more to make sure she knows what she's doing?
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female
reader, Spiffeh.. +, writes (11 August 2008):
 She should know what shes doing at 15 but i doubt that they will really get married.. Her parents probably wont allow it and these things hardly ever last long but then again i have agreed to marry my boyfriend of almost 3 years when im 20 if we are still both together.. At the end of the day its her choice and if she feels strongly about the issue then nothing will stop her. I understand that you are just being protective of your friend but she would probably see any help you offer as an attack on her relationship and i dont think its worth that just talk to her parents about it. They should talk some sense into her. =] x
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (11 August 2008):
 well they are waiting till 18 so that means their is time for change and error though one of the reasons ldr fail is because people dont live with each other gradually and its a big leap also the fact one is not willing to move for the other, but time will tell what will happen..i had a friend and i thought she was crazy for getting married at 18 and she ddnt care for my thoughts and ddnt think much of me for being supportive, and 3 years later they are now split up..you can tell her she is too young and that she should see were this goes and try living together first. but be aware their are consequence and you will only find them out by telling her the down side.. on the other hand you can support her and say im happy for you but i have reserves that its too soon, but i am here for you no matter what you decide.. good luck aphex xx
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (11 August 2008):
I think that if you tell her anything she's going to be annoyed and assure you that you don't understand or know what you're talking about. Sometimes people need to make their own mistakes and learn from them--even if it is something as steep as getting married. I'm sure anybody else that knows about their plans to get married feel the same as you. But if it's what makes her happy, just let her have it. Don't say anything too drastic, maybe something along the lines of, "Are you sure you want to marry him? We are still really young with a long life ahead of us. You're my friend and I care about you, I just want to make sure that you really think you're making the right decision." If she says that she still wants to marry him, then just leave it at that.
All you can do is be there for her, and hopefully her marriage works out (but things could always change and they decided that they don't want to get married quite yet). Otherwise, I'm sure her parents will give her a good talking-to on the matter.
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