A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm really looking forward to marrying my fiance and feel sure we'll build a good life together and make each other happy.My problem is that when we were first planning the wedding it was a long way off, but now that it's drawing near I'm feeling nervous about the actual day itself. I don't like being center of attention, I don't like speaking in front of people and I always feel uncomfortable anytime I'm in a group of more than about 6 people at any one time. I also resent general wedding etiquette as I don't really understand it. The expense of the day bothers me, even though I can comfortably afford it I really resent spending money on flowers and a photographer and posh food as I personally don't care about any of that. I have talked about my concerns with my fiance but we both felt that it was too late to change our style of wedding (i.e. just elope the two of us instead) not least because we've already paid money for the venue but mainly because neither of us want to deal with disappointing our relatives so we felt like it was best just to grin and bear it.There are certain aspects of my wedding day I'm looking forward to, mainly the dancing and spending time with my friends, but I have fairly severe social anxiety problems and there'll be a lot of people there I don't know and a lot of social etiquette that I don't understand and I'm worried I'm going to get stressed and just want to leave and hide!Does anyone have any advice on how I can make the most of my wedding day and how I can keep a lid on my social anxiety issues?Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): Anxiety and nervous before a wedding is normal;
Do not worry about the people and all the formalities;
I suggest you FOCUS that day on your HUSBAND;
So what if the odd thing does not go right or according to plan; most people won't even notice it; the people are there to share your joy and happiness;
FORGET about all the people around and stay stay FOCUSSED on your HUSBAND.Oh yeah, very important(specially for all the photos) Keep SMILING.
Congratulations, I hope you have a lovely day and a very Blessed marriage.
Best wishes with lots of SMILES.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (12 August 2008):
It's your wedding, you don't have to stand up and speak to everybody all at once. I can definitely see how you could feel this way. It's all very overwhelming. It is considered polite to go out and speak to the guests at the tables once the reception has started because people are going to want to see you up close, talk to you, and give their congratulations and "words of wisdom".
I think you're just anxious, but once the day finally gets here and the ceremony and festivities are all on their way, I think you'll relax and enjoy yourself. It kind of sucks because a wedding is basically throwing a party for everybody else to have fun while you get stuck with the expenses and pressure of it all.
But really, everybody is there to enjoy themselves. The reason why you hire entertainment (like a DJ or band) is because you don't have to do the entertaining. Don't worry so much, you'll have a great time and be happy as can be once it's over and glad that you did it! Good luck!
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