A
female
age
36-40,
*arahPA
writes:Hello,I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but just wanted to get some advice about my family. My parents (58 and 60 yrs old) are in a lot of debt. They have a business which has been losing money for a while and is putting them deeper in debt. We've talked about bankruptcy but they have no money saved at all. My dad is trying to get another business started on the side that will allow them to get out of this one so they are concerned that filing for bankruptcy as it will not allow them to start a business. Since they have no other savings, they believe that they won't be able to earn enough with hourly jobs to be stable. I feel like bankruptcy might still be their best bet as my dad has been trying for the side business for over a year now and it doesn't seem to be working out. I'm just worried as my mom works a lot, is very stressed out all the time and her health is deteriorating as well. Me and my sibling are trying to help but with one of us still in school, and the one with an average paying job, it's difficult right now. It would be great to get some advice, especially from people that might have filed bankruptcy or have been in similar situations? Thanks
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female
reader, SarahPA +, writes (16 January 2014):
SarahPA is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry for the very late response, thank you for all your advice. Things are getting worse with the situation, it's really a big mess and I am very worried. Anonymous - we have met with a couple of lawyers but they have mixed responses. I have my own job that's quite demanding so I don't think i can lead the business. At this time, I'm the only person with a stable job and income and I'm helping with groceries/rent so I just don't think I should leave my job. My sibling is in med school and doesnt have the time to help, she has tests and is very busy all the time. The business is also dying and would be very hard to turnaround right now. Older - I understand your point and think that's why my dad is struggling with it. But they are losing money, really n a lot of financial trouble, their debt is VERY large due to a lot of bad financial management and I don't know how else they can get out of it. I'm trying to do more research on it but I'm afraid they're falling deeper into it. So very - could you please explain why it's hard to recover at their age? what would they have to do? I understand their credit will be bad for a few years but if they're not planning in buying a house or anything, what oth considerations should we be aware of for people their age?RI - their debt is very large and they will not be able to pay it. I know they're adults but my dad has severely mismanaged the finances and I don't see him having a solid way out. My mother is basically depressed and can't sleep and has bad health. She does not feel like she is getting my dads support and i tthink she needs someone to look to for help. She as always handled the selling aspect and actual day to day of the business and my dad the finances so she did not understand how bad the situation was till recently nd is now at a complete loss of what to do. Aunty - yes we do have them and I'm looking into them now. I do have a full time job which can be very demanding (travel + long hours). I think my father knows he's made big mistakes here and has not managed finances well at all - I think he feels ashamed and overwhelmed and doesn't want to admit to others how bad it is, sp hes hoping something will come alpng to solve it. But with the severity if the situation, thats not going to happen. It's A very difficult situation. Thanks again for the advice, it's really appreciated.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2013): Obviously you and your mother seem to be more concerned than your father therefore I think you should form alliance with your mother to find a solution. You should consult a legal adviser or a companies lawyer but I suggest also you should learn as much as you can about running a business and should lead the business instead of your father.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (27 December 2013):
 I'm not sure if this is the correct forum either, however, when my wife and I were in our mid 50's and our son was in college we made the sad decision to go the bancruptcy route and it has haunted me ever since. It is very traumatic(especially to the male). The tradition role of the "breadwinner" from my era anyway was to always provide support and careful sturardship of financeal responsibility for the family. To suddenly realize failure in that role is profoundly traumatizing. So, treating it all in a cavalier mode as a way to solve a financial pinch is a bit short sighted. Please give long and carefull thought to the process before making any recomendations. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 December 2013):
 Bankruptcy is not a great idea. At their ages they will NEVER recover. ONCE you file it will be with them on their credit for a minimum of 7 years... and since it's a business maybe as long as 12 or longer:
here is a link for small business bankruptcies:
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/small-business-bankruptcy
they need to consult an attorney that specializes in this.
IF they owe taxes those will NOT be forgiven... they will have to set up payment plans to pay that off.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (27 December 2013):
 It depends how much they are in debt. If they owe a significant amount that realistically they cannot pay back then yes it could be an option but bankruptcy obviously has a down side and it's best for your parents to way up the pros and cons of their options.
Remember they are adults and you cannot help them with all their problems, although it is hard sometimes you have to take a step back for your own sake
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (27 December 2013):
 In the UK we have debt advisory councils and agencies to help people decide what to do.
I am sure there must be something similar in the US?
Your dad is 60 so it's unlikely that he will be able to get regular paid employment but holding on to debt and trying to start another business is going to be extremely tough as they will be unable to get business loans for stock etc. Any money made will have to be used to pay off the original debts.
Bankrupsy places conditions on your daily living but the relief of not having the debt over your head usually gives people the breathing space they need to re organise their lives...but again, things can be tough.
Also if your parents are prone to fall into debt, perhaps they would do better to get some advice on handling money and avoiding future debt.
You can help by finding a job yourself (something after school and on the weekends, if you haven't got a job already) so that you can support your own needs and take some of the strain off your mother.
It seems like your dad is the one who wants to make the decisions but I do think he needs professional advice to try and help him see which is the smarter way to go.
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