A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I like this girl that works at my local convenience store. The Monday before last (23rd) I asked her if she wanted to go and see the local pantomime, expecting her to say no, but instead she said yes, but she's have to see about her shifts. She was off work for a few days due to illness.This morning, I went in and asked when she wanted to go (bearing in mind the panto finishes on Sunday, which I also told her) Also, as she was ill, I felt I had to book it for tomorrow as it may have gotten sold out. She said she can't do it because she is going to be busy moving in with her friend.I accepted this, and then said 'I'll have to take you out somewhere else', and she said, 'we'll see'. Any ideas as to what to do now? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (3 January 2014):
 this is one tough lesson with women you're learning. women are socialized to be polite and friendly. they don't like to hurt people's feelings. ever notice how women will be sweet as candy to each others faces, but the moment one of them walks away, they start shit talking her to no end? that is a prime example. and this principle also applies when it comes to dating. if we aren't interested, we still will act like we are to your face, in an effort to not hurt your feelings. but then hope you get the point on your own so we don't have to straight out say we aren't interested.
she said yes at first, in an effort to stall for time, then find a way to blow you off *politely* later (even though it's not polite).
i know it's shitty. i'm a firm believer that women should learn to speak their minds more firmly and confidently without fear of repercussions. however, i recognize that it is engrained socially, so it's not that easy. but for your own sake, just learn to read the signs.
when women like you, they let it be very known.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wish she hadn't have said yes originally then!
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (3 January 2014):
Are you kidding me? Any women who ever answered me like that after me asking her out wouldn't get a second thought.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): it means she's not interested..sorry I've pulled the "we'll see" card she's trying to brush you off..
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A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (2 January 2014):
Well the ball's in her court now you've asked her and been polite with it.I'd just leave it with her now(don't push it).If she doesn't say anything to you or give any encouragement then I'd leave it at that.Some you win some you lose I'm afraid.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 January 2014):
OP, she might just have said yes because she didn't know how to directly say no (especially if she was at work).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2014): Women don't play hard to get these days. They just play games.
Why did she say yes in the first place?
What could she say if she's standing behind the counter and you're a regular customer, and probably a very sweet guy?
I'll answer your question with a question. Why hasn't she confirmed it by now?
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (2 January 2014):
I would take the hint that she is not interested.
When a girl wants to be with you, she will make the time. She's just being polite and trying to let you down gently.
"We'll see" is woman code for "not a chance, but I don't want to seem rude and blatantly shoot you down."
I would move on to someone else.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 January 2014):
 Girls love a guy that respects her so respect her and wait,wait,wait, "we'll see" is as close to yes as anyone can ever hope for and probably is yes but the test is this; are you going to nag her or are you going to respect her? I suggesy sronly you respect her and wait [atiently until she returns whereupon she will see a respectfull young man that did what she asked rather than some arogant smaty pants that ruined her plans to help someone move. Hang in there young dude. You'll br fine.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2014): You've asked her. Now back off. It doesn't seem that she's that interested. Perhaps she's not all that enthused about the entertainment you've offered; and she's just being nice.
I think when people are really interested in going out with you, they show enthusiasm.
They should give every indication they can to let you know they like you, and want to get to know you. If they drag their feet and always have convenient excuses; that's a cowardly way of asking you to just go away.
Honestly, I think she's put in the difficult spot of not offending a regular customer. You asked her while she's on the job, and basically cornered her.
You're obviously more interested than she is. Working in a convenience store; if she's attractive, she gets asked out all the time. She will give her standard answer, and shrug the least interesting suitors off. Or, in your case; always be unavailable.
I'd personally just not bother. "We'll see" is the answer you give a child who keeps begging for something; and you just don't want to hurt their feelings, or to avoid a tantrum, by giving a definite "no!"
She's just not that into you.
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A
female
reader, StarryEyes101 +, writes (2 January 2014):
 I agree completely with CaringGuy. Also maybe she is playing hard to get. But yeah, back off now and let her do some chasing. Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy do you think, did she say yes in the first place?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 January 2014):
Let her do some running now. You've asked her, and she was cryptic about dates. You asked her again, and she was ill. Then again, and she's said she's moving. And now you've asked to change the date and she's just said 'we'll see'. Experience tells me that she isn't interested, or something has changed her mind. Whatever her reasons, you need to step back and let her do some work. If she's interested, she'll let you know from now.
You just don't want to end up being played with.
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