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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Is any man excited by an average looking female body after watching porn?
Q. I am concerned that my bfs constant access to a never ending stream of physically perfect women in porn to look at and masturbate to is causing him to get bored with my appearance. He simply doesn't seem excited by the sight of me anymore yet if h...
A. 15 July 2014: Physically perfect? Have you ever looked at porn? There are no physically perfect women in porn. They all have an issue someplace. Quit your worries,nobody is perfect!... (read in full...)
Is my husband gay? straight? or just curious?
Q. I'm questioning whether to believe my husband when he says he's not gay or bi after I confronted him about knowing he watched/chatted with a couple trannies this one time that I know of. There were also females he watched/chatted with as well. He ...
A. 15 July 2014: ranny pornis just plain wierd anyway so what's the deal? He's just like the rest of us, he's curious to see why anyone would make that transition. It's a huge leap to make so how much fun could it be?... (read in full...)
Are people more likely to speak their minds when they are drunk?
Q. So ive got the inevitable question. Are people (espeically guys who are kinda of shy but just in general as well) more likely to tell their true feelings, and speak their mind when they're drunk or after even drinks? Is it true what they say th...
A. 15 July 2014: Not in myexperience and believe me I've had a lot of experience in this subject. People do tend to feel more self-important when drunk though. The world's problems are easily solved by drunks. "Why what we ought to do is just kill all the ... (read in full...)
My wife of 20 years invites a man to stay the night at our home? Is this weird?
Q. Hi, Is it strange that my wife of 20 years invites another man to stay the night at our house? She apparently arranged this visit several weeks back, but didn't let me know about the plans, ask for my opinion, nor tell me until a few days bef...
A. 15 July 2014: YEP! this qualifys as strange alright... (read in full...)
A stranger came up to tell me he liked me. Is he a threat?
Q. Hello, I was walking to work yesterday morning 7am, half way there I saw a man come jogging around the corner and he suddenly stopped about twenty yards infront of me then continued tonwalk towards me. I have to admit I did feel uneasy in my ...
A. 14 July 2014: Anytime your instincts talk to you" listen to them. Your instincts about the way you eet someone or that some's smile.or even thesound of their voice will save your life someday. Therefore don't even question yourself for a tiny bit of time. ... (read in full...)
Why do I have to be my own mother? What do I do with my real one?
Q. I cannot live with my father because of legal issues between my siblings. I have moved out of there and into my mothers house. She has cheated on my father and continues to have this affair which includes extremely late nights where i cannot reach ...
A. 14 July 2014: You should count your blessings and surive in spite of the challenges. At least you have a roof over your head and dishes that can be cleaned to eat off of. So many thousands of kids have it so much worse than you do. Bide your time and learn ... (read in full...)
Am I just being a typical bloke?
Q. New to this everyone. How is everyone? I'm just a young lad. Started a new job a few months ago. I'm really enjoying it. I've maybe got this totally wrong. Picking up the wrong signals. So there's this really attractive girl. She's 2...
A. 14 July 2014: The job is the more important between the vaugue posibilty of a 'fling' or finanicial security. So the gamble is probably not worth the 'fantasy reward' If she's serious about a relationship away from work she'll let you know in no uncertain ... (read in full...)
Do girls REALLY fondle each other to attract male attention?
Q. There is this guy at work, who I will call "John". John is a real chick magnet. Every girl, whether workmate or customer, is attracted to him. E.g. while I am talking to a female customer, she snatches looks at John, and many times smiles to him. ...
A. 13 July 2014: while is a sexual arrousal to see girls on girls. it doesn't mean they're trying to "capture" John. Theu may just be gay, ergo, no problem, right?... (read in full...)
Is my husband gay? straight? or just curious?
Q. I'm questioning whether to believe my husband when he says he's not gay or bi after I confronted him about knowing he watched/chatted with a couple trannies this one time that I know of. There were also females he watched/chatted with as well. He ...
A. 13 July 2014: If a women watches girl-on-girl porn or strap on porn is he curious or gay?... (read in full...)
My older boyfriend is very controlling
Q. Hi,I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 31. At the beginning of our relationship things were great. He was a gentleman, gave me great advice, was always doing little things to show me he cared. Those things haven't changed but now he also does other little ...
A. 12 July 2014: My prediction is there is little hope that this 'relationship' would ever work out. To me it sounds like the very predictable older man-finds younger women-treats her badly-turs on her, then hurts her. A formula for disaster. Yeah I know at first ... (read in full...)
Is it right for my boyfriend to give his phone number to other women?
Q. I've never considered myself to be the jealous type but lately I've been getting upset about my boyfriend giving his number out to other women. This situation started about 6 months ago when I found out that he ran into an old ex girlfriend one d...
A. 11 July 2014: Quick answer is ....Not a great idea unless there is a darn good reason.... (read in full...)
Is any man excited by an average looking female body after watching porn?
Q. I am concerned that my bfs constant access to a never ending stream of physically perfect women in porn to look at and masturbate to is causing him to get bored with my appearance. He simply doesn't seem excited by the sight of me anymore yet if h...
A. 11 July 2014: "Physically perfect"? you obviously don't view much porn. It's not what they look like..It's what they do that turns men on. They could look like alien creatures for all that matters. Don't try to compair yourself. The guys in porn aren't "all ... (read in full...)
Am I being toyed with or is this something I should hold out for?
Q. This is probably an obvious answer but I still feel confused about the situation. A little over a year ago I was chatting with a girl on an online dating site. She seemed very lovely, is a psychologist, pretty, nice, funny. We messaged back an...
A. 11 July 2014: To me the ONLY way to evaluate a person is to look into thier eyes and hear thier voice. Ergo, Any decisions mad via email,text, or FB are valueless.... (read in full...)
Is my husband gay? straight? or just curious?
Q. I'm questioning whether to believe my husband when he says he's not gay or bi after I confronted him about knowing he watched/chatted with a couple trannies this one time that I know of. There were also females he watched/chatted with as well. He ...
A. 11 July 2014: He's no more gay than before taking a peek at the other side. Haven't yo ever wondered what the "other folks" do for pleasure?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is physically abusive. Part of me wants to leave him but I also know he would never truly hurt me
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and we recently moved in together. He is usually extremely sweet and caring. But sometime he has bouts of anger that make me extremely uncomfortable. I can honestly say he'd never hit me, bu...
A. 11 July 2014: If you value your life get out ASAP. These stories NEVER end well. Stop trying to rationalize! The fact is this: An abusive person never stops abusing until the abused person is either gone or dead. Any man that hits or hurts a woman is not worth ... (read in full...)
I can walk around naked and he doesn't bat an eyelid!
Q. Hi I'm new to this it's my first ever time asking anyone for help really, I feel you you as I am in a situation like it :-( I have been with my husband for 15 years he was my first boyfriend we have kids together and everything was ok really u...
A. 10 July 2014: Hmmm, If my wife started walking around naked I'd think she had lost her everlovin mind and call the doctor. If you're looking to turn him on that might not be the best way.It might turn me on but I'm not your husband. There are other issues rather ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my husband but cannot bring myself to confess and I feel so guilty all the time
Q. Hi, I got married in 2012. During the first few months of our marriage, my husband remained busy with his friends, he had very little time for me. He made love to me on rare occasions. Then, I began to hang around with my boss, like fiends. One...
A. 10 July 2014: Why hurt the man? You are already in your own personal hell. Sharing your guilt trip with him or anyone else close to the situation for that matter will only blow things further out of porportion. Take it to the grave!... (read in full...)
Should I shave my beard for my friend's wedding?
Q. I have my friend's wedding to go to in a couple of weeks and I am debating whether or not to shave.. I have had a beard for the last 10 months and have grown fond of it, it is part of me now I feel. I do keep it 'trimmed' but it is still probably...
A. 10 July 2014: If you are IN the wedding(groomsman,etc.) then yes,trim or shave but look your ( best photos and all you know). You don't want someone years from now looking at the wedding photos going"Who was that creep with the beard?) Even though it may look ... (read in full...)
I would really appreciate some gift ideas for a person who did me a big favour that has benefited my business
Q. This is a business question.....I would really appreciate some gift ideas for a person who did me a big favour that has benefitted my business. I am looking to spend around $300. Do you think a really expensive floral arrangement? Or something tha...
A. 10 July 2014: Jewlry is OUT(way too personal) Is your business a stock owned corp? maybe a share or two? An office plant(palm tree) is an expensive treat assuming she works in an office. I don't know what i-pads cost but everyone seems to want one.If nothing ... (read in full...)
He said he was "taking a step back" ... what did he mean?
Q. I'm having a hard time dealing with a break up right now. The guy I was dating have been liking each other since we were young but went separate ways after high school. About seven months ago, we got back in touch and rekindle the flame we had. I ...
A. 10 July 2014: I think two things; 1. he was embarassed and 2.) He doesn't want to drag you into his failures either out of respect for you or self pity. I'd do what he asks and back off for a month to see what happens. Good Luck... (read in full...)
Why does this keep happening? It's not fair!
Q. Lately I've been frustrated and annoyed because I'm tired of careless friends and acquaintances standing me up. Why do people do this? One of my male friends agreed to go out with me and see a band in the city last weekend (he lives near the ...
A. 10 July 2014: My granfather used to say,"people are no damn good!" then he'd huff and puff and go on and on about some event or another...Atthe time I thought it was just 'cause e was older. Nw that I'm geing on iyears, I can see some wisdom inwhat he was saying. ... (read in full...)
I can walk around naked and he doesn't bat an eyelid!
Q. Hi I'm new to this it's my first ever time asking anyone for help really, I feel you you as I am in a situation like it :-( I have been with my husband for 15 years he was my first boyfriend we have kids together and everything was ok really u...
A. 10 July 2014: Could be medical reasons; prostate issues, ed, depression,etc. Talk about it. It's not you. It's just an issue that's solvable. Hang in there!... (read in full...)
15 year age gap is my concern
Q. I met this guy. He is now 56 and I am 41. Both of us have never been married and no children. He has asked me for a commitment to a relationship and I think he will look for marriage later. This is not a short term relationship. He is a smart,...
A. 10 July 2014: An age gap does present challenges but if there is love involved there is no challenge that will be too big to overcome. The awkward things will be kind of silly..."hey you remeber the TV show_____?" And you'll reply,"huh!" That kind of silly crud. ... (read in full...)
How does one avoid date-rape and why DON'T some dates/boyfriends accept "no" for an answer?
Q. **Please mods, I think I ask a lot of important questions here and while I do mention date-rape, I put it in the cleanest way possible. Is there a way to share my experience and questions without it getting deleted? ** There are a lot of posts l...
A. 10 July 2014: In my sate(Texas) you can get a conceled carry permit that allows you to own and carry small handgun. That might not keep creeps from trying to rape but it will ertainly stop them from carrying it out. I'd recommend all young ladies gea gun and ... (read in full...)
He only put the tip in. Am I still a virgin?
Q. I don't know if I'm a virgin or not.. Help? I was with him and he kept fingering me and tryed to make it easier for him to get it in.. Well, when he tryed to put it in It definitely hurt. He told me he only got the tip.in and that's all.. But I ...
A. 10 July 2014: If your hymen s still intact then you are still "officially" a virgin. But that's really not the issue is it? You're looking for comfort and someone to make you feel better about doing omething you know you shoud not have been doing. Well, not ... (read in full...)
How to prove to my girlfriend I will not walk out on her and our baby?
Q. I'm 40 and my girlfriend is 20 and we are together for the past seven months. We met online and dated for 8 weeks before we decided to become a couple. I never thought I could connect with someone her age nor ever have a relationship, but she is ...
A. 10 July 2014: Her youth(comparitive youth anyway) and her vulnerability is the obvious cause for her concern that she could posibly end up alone and with a baby to raise. I'd assume she has few if any close family members to assume suport for her If you were to ... (read in full...)
Is any man excited by an average looking female body after watching porn?
Q. I am concerned that my bfs constant access to a never ending stream of physically perfect women in porn to look at and masturbate to is causing him to get bored with my appearance. He simply doesn't seem excited by the sight of me anymore yet if h...
A. 9 July 2014: chigirl has it right!... (read in full...)
His lack of response and removal of profile probably suggests no desire on his part. Should I still contact him on facebook?
Q. So, I found this cute guy on okcupid. I messaged him, he messaged back, with clear enthusiasm. We wrote back and forth for three weeks, sometimes essay-grade responses, from his part and mine. I am on vacation abroad, due back in October. He knew ...
A. 9 July 2014: Sunds like ou are thonly one that wants to retain contact(even though it's only via electronic B.S. The thing is; if he's bored or otherwise "unavailable" perhaps you should seek oter fake relationships online. OR, you might try finding a real ... (read in full...)
How do I initiate affection despite my husband's efforts to "push buttons"?
Q. My husband does this thing where he will act aloof, distant, angry. Then sometimes after a bout of that he will accuse me of being distant. He will say that I am the one that goes leaves the room when he is the one that leaves when I enter a room. ...
A. 8 July 2014: Talk about ental abuse..you've got a case of that! It sounds almost childish in a funny sort of way. like a kid trying to get attention. Like a little kid going on and on about a pet peeve then saying "no I dn't say it, you did! I do believe you ... (read in full...)
He says I am the only one, but his social media tells a different story
Q. im confused should I continue trying and keep being spontaneous or should I just move on?? I met this guy 6 months ago, he happened to be my valentine because he wanted to hang out then. we've been talking on and off for about 6 months. we've be...
A. 5 July 2014: Another "social media SNAFU" When will it all end. People! get off the 'puter and meet face-to face!... (read in full...)
How do I handle his porn addiction?
Q. This is another question about porn, but okay, here goes.. I'm 32, my husband is 34, been married since 2011, over the past few weeks he's been refusing sex. And it's all down to pornography. The "smoking gun" as it were, was a sign-up for a po...
A. 5 July 2014: To me the 'fly in the ointment' was the "seems to be" reference. Youcan't say someone IS addiced to something and en say they seem to be aivted. I was addicted to smoking,I didn't seem to be...Iknew I was and if not for the stroke it caused,I'd ... (read in full...)
Would this be OK, I just want to say thankyou..
Q. Would this be ok? not a rship question but you all give such great advice here, hope you can help. I am a live theater fan and am going for the second time to a show in my city next week ( the final performance) I have checked w...
A. 1 July 2014: I think a rose with a thank you notewould be very touching to the cast members...try not to forget the director..they work hard too.... (read in full...)
How soon should I leave my toxic family?
Q. Hi, I am about to turn 25 years old and I live at home with my mother and older brother. I recently discovered that my mother suffers from narcissistic personality disorder after doing some extensive research online. I always believed her beh...
A. 1 July 2014: 25 and living at home is the definition of dysfunctional. You may leave whenever you like now.... (read in full...)
I'm confused about what "true love" is?
Q. I just have a question about the definition/s of "true love". I've dated many guys but I never felt as strongly as I did about my ex. We were together for a year. He was 2 years younger than me (16). I would have done anything for him and I always...
A. 1 July 2014: Love is hard enough to identify much less 'true love' My definition is being able to gaze into the other person's eyes and just know what she is feeling and just sigh!It's more of a feeling than an act or definable 'thing'.... (read in full...)
My parents say it's being a teenager. But are my moods, withdrawing, or being gregarious or angry normal for teenagers?
Q. This is something that my friends have said to me, and I do notice that it's happening, but I don't notice what I'm doing. (Just bear with me here) I go through times of complete social inactivity. I don't talk to anyone, I don't play my Xbox, or k...
A. 1 July 2014: Yep I emember it all very well..mood swings,confusion,etc. all part of the teen years. raging hormones and ierd body changes all come together forhe 'perfect storm' of really weierd years(say 12u 19)..Hang in there, it all settles down and reality ... (read in full...)
He's pressuring me to say I love him. I'm not ready. Should I call it a day with him?
Q. Basically I don't know what to do. I've been going out with a guy for a week and he's already saying how much he loves me, he knows I'm no where near ready to say it back but I feel like he's pressuring me to say it. I've tried talking to him about ...
A. 1 July 2014: You'd do both of you afavor to just be upfront and say I don't feel the same about you,sorry but hones is the best policy to get him to see the truth and relieve your stress.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend interested in sex but just not with me?
Q. I have been with my bf for almost 4 yr our sex hot and heavy in the beginning now its no where to be found the occasional cuddling, peck on the lips. Sex we don't talk about it, I have to ask for it and Im sick of that I am attractive and I feel ...
A. 30 June 2014: What a strange situation...I've never heard of a guy passing up sex. You may have an inigma on your hands. Perhaps a break-up is in order.... (read in full...)
My Dad trusts me abroad so why doesn't he extend my curfew at home?
Q. I'm 21 and I live with my parents in a big expensive city in the U.S. I have a ton of loans from school that I have to start paying off in 6 months (I just graduated) so moving out of my parents place would not be a smart thing to do. I work part ...
A. 29 June 2014: Good question, but you might ask him instead of us. As a father of boys I can understand him wanting you out late-we all worry way too much about out kids but we can't help it. If something happened to one of or kids it isn't just an issue, it is a ... (read in full...)
I wanted to make the marriage work but I've fallen out of love with my husband
Q. Ok so I'm a huge mess!! I'm married with 3 kids. Me and my husband have been together for 9 years, married 5. Our whole entire relationship has been hard, we started off very young. Our relationship was very strained after the first 5 years. We both ...
A. 27 June 2014: Too late for 'buyer's remorse' you have kids now and they NOT you are the most important thing. Unless he is abusive or something it is totally up to you to maintain the family. People will say,"Oh kids are resiliant, they'll adjust" That is BS! ... (read in full...)
7 years in a sexless marriage. Is it wrong to ask my wife if I can get sex somewhere else?
Q. I am a 53 yr male with what I would call a good sex drive and I have been in a sexless marriage now for about 7 yrs medical issues.We have been together for 23yrs I love my wife very much and we have a great relationship but I afraid this could do ...
A. 26 June 2014: A sexless marraige is stil a marraige in the eyes of the law and God- you don't get to make up a rational for divorce, why not just file and get it over with. You don't need to hurt her on the way out the door. You've already made up your mind. ... (read in full...)
I caught my boyfriend on dating website with profile. He denies it. Do I tell him to take a hike?
Q. Hello So my bf of 3yrs was caught on a dating site. My friend happened to ne on the same site and alerted me. I confronted him and he had some lame excuse for being on it. I asked if he had met anyone off of there, and he said no of course. He sa...
A. 26 June 2014: He's probably just curious and wants to see how the dumb thing works..here's how it works....Flirt on the web and you get kicked to the curb! You go girl!... (read in full...)
I need some dating advice to help me approach women
Q. Hey all, bit of a weird question, I'm a 23 year old male, who has had 1 girlfriend, and I am a virgin. Great introduction! But, I'm starting to realize that my view on dating is perhaps 50 years out of date. I think that two people should be...
A. 25 June 2014: In world I've found there are 2 HUGE no-nos. 1. Never try to guess a woman's age or wieght. and 2.Never comment on a woman's body other than "you look great tonight!" In other words never say "wow have you lost wieght?" or "you have great legs"... (read in full...)
What do guys mean when they call a girl 'cute'?
Q. Dear Auntz. I have always told myself that i will never date a guy who describes me as 'cute'. And here i am now dating that guy. He is very nice and sweet to me. We went out twice so far so we just started dating. I am really attracted to him phys...
A. 24 June 2014: When I use the word 'cute' it is usually to describe a young women that looks nice and is usually young looking. I supose it could be used as a negative as is, "Oh that's real cute!" to describe a prank that wenr wrong but I don't think I've ever ... (read in full...)
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