A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for sometime and I do love her, but now that we've gotten to the point in our relationship where we make love, I've gotten performance anxiety. I wasn't able to get it up 100% and I figured the condom was too tight on me, which it was, so we tried another. The other condom was too tight also. We then tried without, and it helped a bit, but I realized it was performance anxiety. I've had some sleeping problems before from anxiety so I was given Valium, I was wondering if I took that, it would help?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 December 2013):
 nope valium is not the answer.
step one.. MAGNUM XL condoms... bigger and better.. must wear a condom. until you both have blood work at the start and again at 6 months together that are clear and you are sure you are both monogamous then condoms are a must.
secondly make sure she is on good hormonal BC (less worry)
thirdly... do not worry about the actual act of penetration as that's probably not what gives her the most pleasure... your mouth and hands are much more important than your penis for most women.
have A single glass of wine or a beer... with dinner then just go with the flow and aim to have fun and make love NOT have INTERCOURSE... there are lots of ways to make love without putting your penis in her vagina.... once you take that pressure off of yourself, you will relax.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 December 2013):
 It might but you might fall asleep first. Valium is designed to relax you body.
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A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (30 December 2013):
The more you worry about it the more anxiety you'll experience.We've all been there as men with the first sexual encounter with someone you care about.Don't hurry your lovemaking just take your time,the actual intercourse isn't the be and end all of it.It happened to me the first time.
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