A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I'm writing to ask your opinion on how much fighting is too much. I've been with my current boyfriend for just over a year, and I think he is the man I will spend my life with. In general, we get along very well, and we never have had any major arguments until recently. For the past month or so, we've been arguing a lot more than we used to. It never lasts very long, we don't have fights that last for days or anything like that, and I don't think the fighting is ever over any major issues. I'm trying to convince myself it's not a big problem because we always work it out, but I'm nervous over how often it's happening. Is this just some sort of phase that relationships go through? Should I be worried? Thank you all for your advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 December 2013):
 If you are concerned it's probably because the fights are about fundamental things that will not change.
It will depend on what you are fighting about and how you fight... are they disagreements on what to eat or where to go? Or are they bigger things like who you are with?
Also who is starting the fights.. is it always him? Is there a pattern? Who is the one to make amends usually?
all of these things matter too.
A
male
reader, devont  +, writes (15 December 2013):
 I agree with the previous post, it really depends on the subject of the arguments... Are they about silly things or more important things?
Are either of you under any extra stress? Have you spoken to him about it? It might just be a phase, he might be uptight about work and taking it out on you, or vice versa.
I don't think a few arguments are anything worth breaking up over or worrying about... But you need to find the underlying cause.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (15 December 2013):
 Any fighting is too much if fighting involves physical altercations. Minor disagreements are normal but shouldn't usually evolve into shouting matches or yelling. Healthy debate is good for a relationship in that it brings out exchanges of feelings. Beyond that. Debates that evolve into all out warfare are tradgic and dumb!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 December 2013):
 I think it depends on the two of you and WHAT you fight over and why. But I do think that if the fighting has increased something is going on. It's symptom.
You need to try and figure out why it's happening.
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