A
female
age
26-29,
*Tzimisce.
writes:There's this guy that I like and I know he likes me back because he always walks past me and a bunch of other signs over afew weeks, explaining these will defeat the purpose of the question. The main question is we are both too shy to talk to each other even though we both give out signals we both like each otherSo how can I go about making the first move? His friends are in on this and it makes me uncomfortable; if it was just him around I wouldn't be so scared but since its him and his friends (observing from the sidelines) I get abit scared to say anything, even just a 'hi'. What should I do to try and initiate the first move with him? I really want to talk to him but get knots in my stomach when I see him
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female
reader, Greene  +, writes (29 April 2018):
I think this feels like a big deal because of your age -- and I don't mean because you're innocent or naive or irrational or anything negative, but that it's simply a numbers issue.You haven't had enough years to rack up enough experiences like this. So if this is the first (or second, or third,.... fifth) time this situation has happened with a boy, it may feel like a big deal because it feels like an important commentary on you or your social skills. What if he doesn't actually like you? What if you say something really stupid when you go up to him? Etc., etc.The fact is, if you talk to him (which you should!!! you like him!!!), some things may go wrong. It might even be a disaster! But that doesn't mean much. It just means that this particular incident didn't go well. It's not a meaning-filled moment, a permanent example of your desirability or social skills. You can completely screw up with this and by 25 be married to a gorgeous, nice man and have 3 kids. That's not an exaggeration.Remember, of course, all your friends are young too! Things in their lives have a lot of meaning too! They're probably not breezy about social situations or boy-girl situations either, and they probably invest a lot of meaning in what happens to you, and other friends, as well as to the things that happen in their own lives. (I actually think this might be physiological with children and teenagers,into one's early 20s. Social things feel very vivid, meaning-filled, as if one's "baking in" one's opinion of oneself and the dynamic one has with other people. But don't worry: life is varied. You have a lot of different dynamics on the way.)You should talk to him -- get moving to the next phase (dates! hanging out! affection! love! someone else you will like better!) -- and although it will probably be fine, don't worry if it's awkward and terrible. There's no risk here. It's actually not a big deal.
A
female
reader, malvern  +, writes (26 April 2018):
 Smile ! A smile opens up a thousand doors ! When you walk past him force yourself to look at him - he will feel you looking at him (you can always sense when somebody is looking at you) then give him a smile. It's a start and it will give him encouragement. Don't miss the opportunity because you will regret it later in life. I was painfully shy at your age and I missed so many opportunities. A smile costs you nothing but says everything ! If he doesn't smile back at you the first time then I bet he'll do it the next time you see him !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2018): I agree go and speak to him.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (25 April 2018):
 How do you know he likes you?
All you’re doing is walking past each other. It’s simple, you either speak to him or someone else will do and you’ve missed your chance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2018): Then keep circling each other in a stare-down match to see who blinks first!
A braver young lady is going to come along and speak to him; and beat you to it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2018): I'm going through this myself atm.
I'm 44 though.
How can I give advice on this one? I wish I could, but I can't.
But - I do believe (now) that things will map out just perfectly for me - whatever happens!
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