A
female
age
26-29,
*eJah
writes:Is my boyfriend being genuine about his feelings?The other day, my boyfriend was a little sick, not dying sick, but sick. I went to the hospital with him and he made a post on Facebook posting a picture of his hospital band and captioned it saying how it wasn’t a good night for him but my baby(me) has been with me and she still is so I’m happy I love you baby, but, recently on my Instagram followers activity feed, I saw a comment he made under one of his exes post. He even liked a few pictures. She had posted a picture of some sour patch popsicles that are hard to find and he commented and asked her where she got them. That was small to me, until I was being nosey and found that once she commented where she got them from, instead of just commenting back, he inboxed her saying, well asking, “Can you get me some?”. For one he could have just said that in the comments. Two, even though it was a small question, it seemed to be his way of slightly flirting just to be able to have a conversation with her. Did he make the post because I truly make him happy? Did he make that post because of the fact that on that particular day and with that particular incident, I really did make him feel better? Or or is he not being honest and genuine about it? He hasn’t been broken up with his ex for long. We have been together for only seven months.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2018): Can anyone see the theme??so you admit that he is sick? Not really sick of course, but sick enough to be in hospital. Is his sickness anything to do with dishonesty? I doubt it!That sickness is incurable.Are you really a "baby?" Because babies need to be looked after and how can he do that when he is "sick"?(I'm making a point people and it's valid!)Texting exes to see them again - huh?Not happy with you - huh?I'm bored with this.By the way, he calls all his woman "baby" because he forgets our names.Hope he gets well soon, but I doubt it very much!
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (30 April 2018):
 I didn’t notice your name until the other aunts and uncles mentioned it.
I, along with many others have answered you in the past and you’ve ignored everything so I’ll be more blunt this time. Why would he stop messaging his ex when there’s no consequence? YOU are enabling his behaviour, YOU must be very desperate to put up with this, YOU will end up very insecure in all future relationships because of this.
How long before you’re back asking for advice on how to get him to stop sleeping with his ex? Get a grip woman, you’re the one who’s going to be back in tears in a few months asking how to get over him.
Dump his sorry ass.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2018): Post script:
I think seven months is a good trial-period. He has been given enough time to cut ties with his old-girlfriend. You may have come along too soon after their breakup; thus you're in the midst of their post-breakup drama.
Frankly, you don't have to deal with this mess. He's still got a thing for his ex, and she is purposely meddling to keep you insecure. She's being a wedge with all the messaging and contact.
Personally, I'd see my way out of this bullsh*t! I would kick him to the curb, and flip him the bird!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2018): It sounds like your boyfriend and his ex are speaking in code. They may not be talking about popsicles. He knows you snoop into his messages; so they've devised a way to talk and throw you off.
If you don't trust the guy, and you think he's too involved or chummy with his ex; you have an option to break from the triangle. You can't trust him. So dump him!
OP's sometimes don't like our answers; so they write again and again, changing the wording to their questions. If the general consensus is to leave someone they're complaining about, they won't accept that advice. They keep writing until they get a response from a sympathizer who will tell them what they want to hear. That's not being very smart.
If you ask for advice; you have to at least give it some thought and consideration. Use some common-sense.
If the guy consistently plays you for a fool, it's your fault for wanting him so badly that you'll put-up with it. He says he loves you, because it soothes you, and it gets him off the hook. No one on DC can send you a magic spell that will make him behave, or make his ex disappear.
It's up to you to put your foot down. You have the power to turn the situation completely around. You can insist their relationship comes to a complete stop, with no further contact; or you will leave and find yourself someone you can trust. A guy who isn't carrying on a three-way relationship.
Your other alternative is to keep writing about the same old douche-bag of a boyfriend; and living this drama until it breaks you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 April 2018):
 This is the same guy who at the end of February was still pestering his ex asking to give her oral sex , and was ( your words ) not taking no for an answer, right ?
So yes, there seems to be little space for doubt. You are and were a rebound, and he is not over the ex , at least sexually.
And yes, if he is so keen on sour patch popsicles, once he had the info about where to find them- he did not need to involve the ex and ask her help to get them- he can get his own popsicles by himself , can't he ? So, the popsicle question, as you imagined, is just an excuse to stay in touch with her. Since his blunter approaches ( oral sex , asking for nudes ) have been ignored or rejected, he is now trying a more innocent, diplomatic around to still hover around her somehow.
Don't mind too much what he says, talk is cheap. He can call you " baby " and " love " as much as he wants, but if he is constantly using any possible excuse to sniff around the ex, well, then obviuosly he says one thing and means another.
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (29 April 2018):
 I remember your name is this the same guy you've posted about 2-3 times?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-acting-as-if-i-dont-exist.html
If so please stop asking for advice if you're going to ignore it, along with the cold hard evidence in front of your face! Seems like for your age you are displaying very little common sense and emotional stability- you CLEARLY don't trust the guy (for good reason) and yet, you're STILL letting him string you along.
If you don't trust your partner there is no foundation to build a relationship on. To use and expand on the analogy of another aunt on here, trust is like the bricks and mortar that holds a house up. Without it the relationship collapses. The good points are just bows and frills and mean nothing.
Get your head out of the dirt and wake up girl!
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A
female
reader, Greene +, writes (29 April 2018):
Seven months is pretty long! And it doesn't sound casual if you're taking him to the hospital and he says he loves you. (I'm assuming you say it back!)I think you need to ask him point blank -- it doesn't have to be aggressive or angry (or maybe it does; go with what feels self-respecting) -- and then trust your GUT on his reaction. Of course, tell him what you're feeling. Tell him that by your understanding of social media, what he wrote to his ex-girlfriend means _____. You're the new girlfriend; you have as much "claim" to a relationship with him as she does. Don't think she's the real deal and you're not.But a big question mark: this is a pretty deep suspicion you have, that someone writing, "I'm here with my girlfriend and I love her" might be just for show.THAT'S THE POINT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. If you doubt his sincerity, get to the bottom of it immediately and obviously break up with him if your gut says "insincere." There will probably not be black and white answers here -- he probably won't say, "Yes, I was faking it. I don't love you." So there might not be hard facts to make your decision based on; you'll have to go with your gut. That's OK! That's normal.And above all: Social media can be really strange; don't let it mess with your head. It's not you... It's them (them = the app developers who came up with the logarithms that allow us to do the specific things that they decided, for their own reasons, that people should be able to do on their specific app)
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