A
female
age
30-35,
*rueLoveWaits2016
writes:After dating selfish cheap guys, I'm pretty gun shy. My bf has always been generous w/me and we do pay for each other pretty often. Today he went out to eat and I couldn't make it, so I asked him to bring me some soup. I'm not one to eat a lot, but this kind of shocked me. The soup bowl he brought me was tiny (a cup to be exact), barely a meal w/a piece of bread. It kinda shocked me though, as I def wouldn't be bringing something that small if he asked me to bring him food. I'm not going to say anything, but it leaves me a tad bit worried. Is he starting to get cheap on me? From observing other couples, when they bring food to their SO, its an amazing full meal or a huge bowl of soup.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2018): You asked for soup, that is what you got. You never asked for food, you asked for soup. He just followed your wishes, be grateful, he even got you a piece of bread ( what more do you want)?
Did he feel rejected because you couldn't make time to eat with him?
Giving and Receiving are equally as important.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2018): Being cheap is not always a bad thing.Spending your way into Dept to keep up with everyone else is not a good thing.We are retired.Some might say we live cheap but I say horray I got to retire at 50.I watch people all the time live well beyond their means.I know people who will have to work well into their eighty's because the way that they spend.Maybe your boyfriend does not want to waste food.So he got you the size you would eat.That is not cheap...that is smart.Maybe the other guys you dated were not cheap but putting money into a 401k or retirement plan.At your age you should be putting in the max allowed.Sometimes living cheap is the smart way to go..I now live in a vacation destination and life is great because when we were Young we were cheap so we could live well now.Think about it.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (6 April 2018):
 If this is the only time something like this has happened, let it go and just keep an eye out for the next time.
Also, you did mention that you don't eat a lot so I don't get it. Maybe a much larger portion would have made you happier, one of which you probably wouldn't have finished but just because it would have showed that he isn't cheap; somehow that would've been better? Maybe he caught on to how little you eat and didn't want to overwhelm you with a bigger portion, in which case; that's actually thoughtful.
Overall I say, don't make it a major issue, at least not just yet. If you're suspicious then keep an eye on him and if it's an isolated incident then let it go. Also, if it didn't feed your craving then let him know that it wasn't enough (in which case, bringing home a bigger portion can be advised).
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 April 2018):
 Honestly I think you should be thankful he was thoughtful enough to bring you back some food in the first place.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (4 April 2018):
 Questions you need to ask yourself before ending the relationship.
- Does he show a pattern of doing the minimum in filling all of your needs physical and emotional?
- Are you punishing him for the sins of prior boyfriends?
- Is something else missing from the relationship?
- Do you feel that he will need to change?
- Do you have to plead or manipulate him to do things for you?
- Is he spending enough on you? Do you know how much enough is?
- Do you have a better offer?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (4 April 2018):
 I can understand that, but would not base that concern on ONE very minor incident.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (4 April 2018):
 You asked for food and you got it. I really think you're making a mountain out of a molehill here.
Ease of convinience? Were you expecting him to walk through the door with a three course meal? Tell us more as this can't possibly of been instigated by the amount of soup that you received. There must be other things he's doing for you to feel this way.
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A
female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016 +, writes (4 April 2018):
TrueLoveWaits2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy biggest concern is him getting away w/doing the bare minimum out of convenience for himself.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (3 April 2018):
That is a tough situation. Hard for him. There are 2 places my Wife and I eat that have good soup. I'm not a soup guy so it takes a bit to get me to order it. The one place offers a cup or a bowl. The cup is just that one cup, an appetizer. The bowl is a meal. So if I was asked to bring home soup there I would know what to order, but quite often, I order something and when it arrives I surprised at what it is. too small, too big, whatever. I'm too conflict avoident to send it back, so I just hope for the best.
The other place is even trickier. If you order the small soup in the restaurant you get a cup, and if you order the large in the restaurant you get a bowl. But, if you order them take out you get a pint or a quart. Of course if I'm bringing home soup from there I buy the quart so there will be a slim chance I might get some.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2018): How can only one particular incident wipe-out a complete history of his generosity? How can you make such a big thing of this?
Did you specify what you wanted anything other than just some soup?
Please, don't blow this out of proportion. Judge him by how he is and what he has always been. Not a cup of soup!
Don't judge people by other people. Judge them only by what they do and for whom they are! Jumping to wild conclusions and reigning unfair judgement on people for minor things says something about your own character.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 April 2018):
 I don't think it speaks to him being cheap, but to him NOT really knowing you that well.
You ASKED for soup, he got you soup.
He might think you are dainty eater and didn't bring you a bigger portion for that sake.
Now if you had told him;" shame I can't go out to eat with you I AM starving he might have gotten a larger portion."
I think you are reading WAY too much into this.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (3 April 2018):
I think I'd keep an eye on it rather than judging off something like this. Maybe that's all that was on offer on the place he went to? He knows you don't eat a lot so why would he buy a lot? Nobody wants to waste food and money and it would be silly to expect him to.
I think you're over reacting here. I wouldn't of even given something like this a second thought.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (3 April 2018):
If this is the only incident that had caused you concern, and I'm guessing it is, then I think your concern is premature.
You have a history of eating small portions and it's what the restaurant gave him so he probably thought this was good enough for you. At worst, I'd say it was a brain fart but nothing more.
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