A
male
age
36-40,
*Scooter43
writes:A few years ago, my sister-in-law's grandmother and her boyfriend went to Alaska on a vacation (the boyfriend is now decease). We talked about Alaska and I mentioned to her that Alaska is my dream vacation.I did my research and realize how much it would cost for me to go. I realize that I will never be able to afford to go on a vacation to Alaska so I gave up on that dream. The problem is she keeps on asking me about "When are you going on your Alaska vacation?" and "Have you started planning it yet?". I always kept my answers short. I just find it aggravating that she keeps on bringing it up. I have been hoping she would let it go. Luckily, she lives about two hours away so I do not see her too often. Should I be completely honest and just tell her that I am not going to Alaska and that I gave up on that dream? Any recommendations on how I should explain it to her so she will stop asking? Out of respect towards my brother and his family (his wife is her granddaughter), I do not want to unintentionally offend her.
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (25 April 2018):
 Just be honest.
I’m not sure why you wouldn’t of been in the first place. That would end the topic for good.
A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (25 April 2018):
Why not just tell her the truth?
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A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (24 April 2018):
 I'm pretty sure besides the link she shares between you and your brother, she has very little to talk to you about. Your love for Alaska seems to be the only thing of interest you two seem to share. She's an old woman, with probably very few people to talk to on an interesting topic she might even spends her days reminiscing about her best memories from the past. She might even bring it up as a means of encouraging your to just drop everything and do it.
What's so hard about explaining to an old lady that your current budget can't accommodate your dream trip? I sure she won't bite you. She'll probably stop bringing it up. All you need to do here is find new interests and the rest should play out for itself.
All the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2018): Elderly-people tend to hang-on to a single-memory or be repetitive sometimes. They mean no harm, and you're totally right...it can be so irritating! Attribute that to their age! It's something planted that stuck! You remind her every-time she sees you! It might even be a tease!
I think she knows it's something you really want to do; and it seems like a wonderful and exciting idea. Being older, there must have been so many dreams and things she wanted to do; but life and circumstances never gave her the option or opportunity. You're young, and she thinks pushing or nagging will motivate you to do it. She would enjoy the experience living vicariously through you.
Who planted that idea in her head in the first-place?
Politely tell her, maybe that's a future plan in your bucket-list; but not feasible for the immediate-future.
Memory starts to get a little foggy in older-folks; so you can't let that bother you. Aging happens to all of us, no matter how much we might despise or resist it! Old-people meddle and nag. It's harmless!
Just kindly but firmly remind her, things are the same as you said the last time! I know the general attitude towards aging-people is to be rude and disrespectful from younger people.
Is it really necessary?
Wait until we're older, and see what age makes us do that annoys younger people! What goes around comes around!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 April 2018):
 She isn't asking out of malice but because she hopes it's a topic she can share with someone else, as she has been there and you would have liked to have gone. She is trying for a common denominator for small talk.
It seem like you think she shouldn't ask you because it makes you feel like you some how "failed" at affording it. It's not a failure to have a dream of seeing a far away location, even if you never make it there! That is what DREAMS are. They CAN be lofty. I would personally LOVE LOVE to go to Eden Island of the Seychelles Islands! It's absolutely stunning! I might never afford it and that's OK. It's still a nice dream :)
Next time she asks, tell her:" unfortunately, Alaska is not in the cards for me anytime soon". And then you CAN be a POLITE decent person and ASK her what her favorite spot was in Alaska. Instead of being the one to ANSWER questions, you ASK her some. You know, like polite conversation?
Or you can "cut her off" with a :" I still haven't been to Alaska Mrs. Smith, maybe one day I'll be able to!".
And saying now at age 30-35 that you will never go... Isn't that a tad... defeatist? Why not instead save up? If you can put away $5-10 here and there and NOT touch that pot, who knows WHERE you can go!
HAVE dreams! Set goals. They can be small they can be big, but try not to just let them go. And don't be angry or annoyed with this older lady who just wants to talk about a subject she knows about and she had HAPPY memories with.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 April 2018):
 “You are so sweet to ask about my travel plans to Alaska. I did some research and realized it’s not possible for me for at least a couple of years. Check back in 5 years and I’ll have an update then!”
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“Alas, I won’t be able to go there for quite some time, years, in fact. It’s a bit depressing to discuss so can we talk about something else?”
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“Aren’t you kind to take an interest in my plans. Alaska’s not happening for me, I thought I mentioned that already? So, what’s new with you?”
If she asks “why?” say “A combination of factors that are too boring to mention.”
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Or head her off at the pass: “Gran, how lovely to see you! And before you ask, there’s nothing to discuss about Alaska! So let’s catch up on other topics!”
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