A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Me and this guy have been casually seeing each other for a year; he would come over from nights out etc and we would just cuddle and kiss and act romantic even though we were not together. We got close in the sense that he started to trust me and we would tell me personal things about himself that he may not have told anyone else. However, there would be times that we would get into an argument and he would disappear for a few days and then comes back. I would do anything for him and I've proven that to him and he tells me he knows but he doesn't seem to realise. Lately, we got into a massive argument and it almost seemed as if everything i've done he doesn't care or he's thrown it back into my face. And i'm unsure if he will come back at this point. However, before this argument he talked about catching feelings by this point. So I told him how i feel because at this point I have nothing to lose. Why is he giving me mixed signals? One minute he's acting very romantic and the next not so much. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (28 April 2018):
 Wasting your time.
If you’ve been casually seeing someone for a year and it’s not developed into anything more it never will do. Seems like he’s using you for sex but doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
Leave him be, what’s the point in arguing with someone that you’re not even in a relationship with? You’re wasting time that could be spent with an actual partner.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2018): [EDIT]:
"Your behavior is very needy; and he will milk your feelings for all they're worth."
"That's what we Americans call a booty-call!"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2018): Have you had sex? You're only casual, because he can get whatever he wants without committing to you; and still see other girls!
Don't ever say you'd do anything for any guy to his face; because a player will make you live-up to it. You'll give a lot and get nothing back. That kind of talk is desperate.
You're begging for his favor, and that makes you a beggar. That's beneath you as a person and a female. You still have to show guys you're smart. You behavior is very needy, and he will milk your feelings for all they're worth.
If he can go for days without a word, that means you don't mean too much to him. He manipulates you and plays with the feelings you have for him.
He thinks he's smarter than you; and I am willing to guess he's probably older than you too!
How do you know he hasn't told every other girl he toys with all his so-called secrets?
That phony game of exposing his secrets is so stale, mold and cobwebs are growing on it! His grandfather used to use that lame-ass game! Telling you stuff he claims he never told anybody else. Half of which he makes-up as he goes!
You're naive. I think it's time to let Mr. Romance go!
You're going to end-up pregnant, with a broken-heart, or both. He doesn't care for you, he's playing you and toying with your emotions. It strokes his ego; because you're fawning all over him.
He comes over from nights out? That's what we American's call a booty-call! He gets tanked and goes prowling for sex!
He'll sleep with the first girl who'll let him in. Like a hungry old alley-cat scratching at your door!
Have some pride, girlfriend! Chuck him to the curb!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 April 2018):
 Honestly?
Just cut him loose.
If you are having all these arguments and you are not EVEN dating, how well do you think it would work out IF you were dating?
Also, if this "casual" thing has been going on for a year and NOTHING has really progressed, the likelihood of ANYTHING serious happening is pretty low.
And someone who goes silent (or disappear as you call it) for days WOULD do the same in a relationship, and that is just not going to work. If THAT is how he handles arguments or issues... you are going to be VERY frustrated VERY fast with him.
JUST block and move on. And next time? Don't settle for casual. It's OBVIOUSLY not what you want.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 April 2018):
 He doesn't know what he wants. One minute he wants to be close to you. The next, he's fighting that dependency on you. He got into fights with you to sabotage everything. He has inner issues to deal with. You gave him one year and still he hasn't made up his mind. The personal things he told you were key to why he's acting up. You got frustrated too, because one year of being led on is not cool at all. Don't waste any more time with him. Either you are together or you are not.
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