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I have feelings for a man 20 years my senior

Tagged as: Age differences, Crushes, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 April 2018) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 May 2018)
A female Australia age 26-29, *ell_Girl_97 writes:

I have this weird question I'm hoping someone can help me with, I have romantic/sexual feelings for a much older man and I've recently told him this. What I want help is should I roll with it or try to move on? He's an old friend of the family and I don't want to make things awkward.

View related questions: move on, older man

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2018):

If this guy is somehow involved with your family, don’t even go there, it will be extremely awkward, people will start talking. If he is married, forget about it, it will not go anywhere, but cause you heartache, I’ve been there, done that. You are very young and will get attached very quickly, this potential relationship will make you miserable. I have been dating a man who is 20 years older then me and taken, I love him but at the same time I’m miserable, it’s a dead end street. There is nothing wrong to being attracted to older guys, nowadays I don’t even look at men my age, but with him being involved with family it’s just bad news

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (28 April 2018):

N91 agony auntYou don’t want to make things awakward whilst suggesting something that would make things extremely awkward. See how silly that sounds?

What would your parents think if they found out? Your brothers or sisters? His family? His wife?? Kids??

Everything about this is wrong on so many levels and would just cause a world of upset for all involved if it was discovered. It’s absolutely not worth it for the sake of sex.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony aunt"Old friend of the family".... Operative word being OLD (compared to you, in relationship terms).

Quite honestly, telling him shows how naive and shortsighted you are - normal for your age, but not a good idea when dating someone much older.

This is a typical crush; you've grown up around him, have no idea what he's like when he's not around your family, etc. With any luck, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, he still sees you as the kid he saw his friends raise.

I'd strongly advise you let it go and don't just throw feelings out there like that because you've already made it awkward.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (26 April 2018):

Honeypie agony auntNo, just no OP

He is FRIEND of the family, there is no way this is NOT going to be awkward.

How did he respond to you telling him?

Is he married? Single? Does he have kids? If he is married then it's a definite STAY AWAY.

JUST because you have a crush doesn't mean it HAS to lead to anything and it doesn't mean HE will want that either.

If he is a long time family friend he might still see you as a CHILD and him agreeing to anything with you would be CREEPY AF!~

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