A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for 4 months and officially been his girlfriend for 2 of those months. In a moment of stupidity and because I let my overthinking get the best of me I tweeted "I'm single". I would have never acted on those words and I even replied to someone who responded to my tweet saying I was just being overdramatic and I am still in a relationship. My boyfriend dumped me and although he responds to all my texts and will pick up when I call him he is being very stubborn and is certain he doesn't want to me with me. Its my first relationship and he said the first time he's let his guard down. I know he's being overdramatic and in my mind I'm thinking I need him to see that I can I can offer him a safe place to invest his feelings.I want to be with him. I called and texted for a few days and the gave him 3 days to relax then text him again and we spoke on the phone and he said he doesn't want to be with me. How do I get him back? I want to go to his house to apologise after giving him space for a week. And if he says no in my face I will leave him alone. I've also thought of doing the no contact method. What would you all suggest?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 May 2019):
 So did YOU even WANT him back after a year?
I hope you have moved on and can leave him firmly in the past.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2019): It must have been a year of strike-outs for him; if he is always that boyish and whiny over silly things! Melodramatic males (straight or gay) make lousy boyfriends; unless you like drama and theatrics. At this point in time, you're an after-thought! I'm with you, it's laughable!
That is, unless you plan to take him back?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe came back begging for me after a year so... LOL
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (3 May 2018):
 He isn’t being stubborn at all.
YOU told the world you were single. Who cares if you didn’t mean it? You tweeted it for everyone to see and that’s how you BF found out he was ‘single’ also. I would of reacted in the exact same manner if my GF used the same childish, disrespectful behaviour.
Use this as a lesson to act like a grown up and talk about any concerns you have with your partner rather than using social media as an outlet. I’d say your ex sounds like a smart man that won’t put up with any bullshit. He called your bluff, deal with it.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (2 May 2018):
 What is it with millennials and the internet... I really wonder because I'm a millennial but I don't see the point in using the internet to ruin your relationships and reputation so please, somebody, explain that to me?
Look dear, the relationship was so fresh and so new. I just don't understand where your insecurities came from... was it your own self esteem or over-analyzing or was it something that he said/did? It was too new for there to be such overreacting and childishness so early on. He way be overreacting but remember who first overreacted: YOU with the whole social media thing. He has been scared off. He probably views you as unpredictable and dramatic which is obviously something that he doesn't want to deal with after all. He probably wasn't ready for a relationship to begin with.
OP, just take this as a lesson moving forward:
1. Keep your relationship issues off social media and actually talk about it.
2. If you can't talk about it, there is a huge problem.
3. Insecurity/Drama isn't cute (they aren't desirable traits in a partner either) so in future bare this in mind because it definitely won't do you any favours if you carry this baggage around with you. If you feel like someone is driving you crazy; they probably aren't for you but don't let the frustration of the situation turn you into a crazy person.
With that being said, you should cut all contact. It isn't a good idea to keep running after him when he's made himself clear so many times. Leave with the dignity that you have left.
Good luck OP.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 May 2018):
Go no contact.
IF he still harbors ANY good feelings towards you he will contact you... But I think he saw the writing on the wall and decided to end it and cut you off.
If you ALREADY a few months into dating.. starts social media drama for attention... I can see why he said" Peace out".
You need to accept that he does't WANT to date you, and you need to leave him alone.
Move on, do better next time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2018): He obviously doesn't want to come back. Why did you say you were single if that wasn't the case? You were (past-tense) in a very new relationship. It was too new for any sort of strain or childish-games on either side.
My suggestion is to stop trying to contact him and move on.
You weren't together long enough for it to be too emotionally-traumatic. He was probably iffy about the relationship, and rushed into it to begin with.
Don't stress over this. It came-apart far too easily for you to have meant that much to him. He also seems to be a bit petty and a big man-baby. Truth is, he didn't really want a girlfriend; and from the way you're coming across, maybe you both committed too soon.
Stay away from his house. Don't go psycho-chick! Showing-up uninvited sends the worst message you can send to anyone. That you don't respect his space, that you're pushy, and that you're capable of making a scene. Worse than that, you're needy and desperate.
Shake your feathers, chin-up, and just move on!
It's beneath your dignity to beg or crawl. If you do that, he still won't take you back. He'll just let you shame and degrade yourself for his entertainment. Just so he can continue to reject you. A narcissist would have a field-day if you did that.
He really wasn't that into you. He was being such a big wussy when he said that thing about letting his guard down. Come on! Dude...really man?!! Grow a pair! Why is his guard up? Either man-up or stop dating. Nobody's got time for silly games. You're both acting like teenage kids!
For your own good, grow-up and show some maturity. Take your relationships seriously once you commit to someone.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 May 2018):
 I am really confused as to why you would write a tweet saying you are single when you are not. If he says that he does not want to be with you now because of this then you need to listen to what he is saying. For someone in there late twenties this all sounds like a very immature relationship.
Honestly I think you need to stop calling and texting him now, don't go and visit him and accept that the relationship is over. If he wants to be with you then he would tell you. It is clear that this has hurt him and he needs time away from you so the best thing to do is to leave him alone to get on with his life. In future you need to be careful what you write on social media, in this case it became true.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 May 2018):
 I would just say leave him alone and don't expect to get back. People who are rejected suddenly feel they lose something good and valuable even when that's not the case. When you were overthinking and tweeted you were single, I guess that's the time he was acting strange, cold and detached. There are guys who panic before getting into a relationship and get all moody and gloomy when they let their guard down. When they do that to an extent where girls doubt so much about where they stand, it's not a good sign. It could mean the guy is not really ready to settle down. You've only been dating 4 months so it shouldn't be that hard to get over him. Save your dignity and don't contact him at all.
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