A
female
age
51-59,
*Sxtra
writes:Another question....Can someone please inform me of why my BF of almost 6 yrs all of a sudden thinks I have an addiction to being a X rated chathost, when he has known from day one what I do for $$. I also have been working in his office for almost a yr, so now I only have this chat hosting to rely on until I find a suitable job since I now have no BF or job! He seems to think I am not trustworthy since I am a chathost and also recently found out that I had been emailing/texting another guy for which I am not on my site with, so not being paid to talk naughty, just doing it for the heck of it.This thing with this guy was strictly flirtatious, no other involvement, never would have been either! Please someone please tell me why he is so untrusting of me and no has told me that perhaps this is why he never made more of a comitment to me in those 6 yrs? I have been crying for almost 2 1/2 weeks now, my heart is so broken that he cold think that of me because of this situation?I am so lost with out his love and in severe emotional pain. I want his love back, does anyone think it is possible and he will recover? MSxtra very sad...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): Ok, that sounds really terrible.
I'm a woman too, and I do have lots of experience about men. I don't care what you've done until your BF left you. What I care is, you wanted to get him back but reading from what you wrote, I can see (sorry, just my view) that you completely have no any ways to get him back!
Unless! If you knew what exactly are men like.
Before you think of getting him back, you should ask yourself with these questions
1) Did he expect you to be too needy? Look, you had been doing that job and he had been supporting you at the same time. Yet you did that kind of job... ?? What did you think you made him think? Even if maybe he did care for you, but it's 6 years and it is impossible that he never thought of what kind of life he was giving to you.. the way you show to him IS HORRIBLE! Every man has EGO, think of that. The point here is, I think he did not leave you because he does not love you anymore but because YOU showed him that he has no capability to lead you or the relationship well.
2) Man wants a relationship which he can brings forward to future (plus with happiness) and not stucked somewhere where there is no maturity.
3) Were you independent enough? Or were you just being a burden? Who would not get tired and bored for 6 years? And the worst is, You are very PREDICTABLE! He knew what you will be doing everyday, nothing else, well... you can think of that by yourself. But come on, be a little bit UNPREDICTABLE or have you ever made him wonder whats on your mind to attract him more and make him wanting to know you more.
4) and the most important is, are you emotionally balanced? There are lots to say, but I know, you knew it yourself.
Honestly, my opinion is, to look at your situation now, it's very simple yet hurting. yes! it is!
But more you cry, more you feel sad.. the more he dont want to be next to you. Are you intending to be a "crying ghost" in front of him? Is that what he wants to see?
Be physically and emotionally independent! Open your mind a little bit, and stop being too NEEDY which irritating. To regard what your boyfriend has been doing for you for 6 years, show him that you had achived something useful and that you are happy with him, and enjoying the relationship.
Relationship is not a work, not a source of money! REMEMBER!
Adi
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 Bit confused, you work in his office but also as a chathost to earn an income, he doesn't pay you?
Yet you also claim you need to money from chatting because you ain't got a job and no bf (by which I take it you mean that the BF would support you?)
Do you work for him for free, or did that job end? If you worked in his office in a paid job why did you need to do the chathost thing as well?
It all seems a bit confused.
However one simple thing is that you cheated on him (in his eyes) by chatting with someone without being paid for it.
This is reasonable, a hooker who has a partner might have the agreement that the sex with others is just business, when she then sleeps with someone on a freebie then that is no longer business.
Do you have an addiction (bit too strong a term but you used it)? After all, why would you chat with someone for free if it was just a job?
It all seems confused, why did you do chathosting when you had a paid job in his office?
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