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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'll start from the beginning, best place to start. This all happened about a week ago.I'm currently at college. Me, and two other girls were sitting at lunch, having a big girly chat and eating. A lad we know came along and asked us to keep his jacket, as he wasn't allowed to take it into an exam. So obviously, we took it for him, as we didn't see a problem.We carried on chatting, but about girl-type things. We opened up about everything from one of our feelings for the boy to bra sizes, nothing was kept back. They admitted to how they self harmed, and we talked for ages about home life. One of us quite likes the boy (he didnt know) so decided to take a look around his phone, and I didn't think it was a great idea, but she did so anyways. So she flipped it open and there was a timer on the screen, timed for about the length of time we'd been talking.Lunch finished, and it crossed our minds whether he'd been recording this. But we all hoped so much that he wasn't recording it, that we just tried to let it go and not get worked up.I just got a phone call about half an hour ago from one of the girls at our table, saying that he had rang her telling her "he knows something about her". She asked "what" and he said "I know you and **** self harm". He then went on to state he knew my bra size (and he stated correctly).After telling her everything we'd basically said in the conversation, he started saying "wait until..." and then she put the phone down. So basically, he's recorded EVERYTHING.Every tiny detail, and I seriously opened up to those guys. I never open up, but I did. And it's all been recorded. Now he's hardly likely to keep it to himself, he's not that type of guy. He'll stir it up as much as he can, and when I go into college on monday (we're on a break at the moment), all Hell will be let loose.What am I supposed to do? Do you think there's anything I can do to recover the situation? Or even make it just a little better, somehow? Thanks for reading :]
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 You're not going to get any better advice than LazyGuy's suggestions. I can only add that you should talk to the head of your college to report him as well. This is very probably not the first time this guy has done this and will not be the last, unless he is stopped in his tracks.
You will be doing other people a great service by dealing with this creep now. The sooner, the better.
And don't worry so much about what you revealed, this will be swept away when you report him; no one will care about your bra size and your privacy will be maintained by any legal action needed.
STOP THIS CREEP!!!!
Good luck.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 Well, if you got the balls, you could talk to him and tell him you are going to the police with this unless he hands over the phone and his PC to you and allows you to destroy its memory and harddisk.
If he does not, report him, what he did is a very serious crime, it is ILLEGAL to make recordings of people without their knowledge. If the police does this they must have all kinds of permits. There is REASON security camera's are always announced and candid camera has severe restrictions placed upon it.
If this doesn't work, and the tells, tell the world WHAT he did and how he did it. Make sure everyone knows that he is the type to record private conversations and then spread their contents. Doubt it many people would like that. He might soon realize that this little stunt is going to make him a social outcast, would you keep a friend who does this?
There is little you can do about what has come out, by and large, just accept that it is out but most people don't really care all that much. As you get older you might be surprised one day to realize just how much you know about your co-workers.
Some people will always try to use rumors and gossip for their own gain but few people want to be around them cause most people realize that someday the juicy bit of gossip might be about them.
Report him, out him and basically avoid him like the plague.
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