A
female
age
30-35,
*ecca1989
writes:I am 18 curently married to a 22 yr old and I just had our 6 week year old daughter. When my husband and i first got together there was never an issue of porn. But for the past 8 months he has been looking at porn every 2 or 3 days constantly looking up girls nude watching xtube and youtube porn. I watched it with him and we tried to match the porn. He watches lots of stuff of with handcuffs and ropes. I bought games, lingerie that he picked out that he liked, handcuffs ropes blindfolds and he still continues to watch. After going from a size 2 to a size 5 during pregnancy and size B to D. My husband still looks at porn all the time. I've told him it makes me feel like crap why he wont touch me why he spends so much time on the computer. Well have sex 5 days out of the week and for like 20 minutes each time but he can spend hours in front of the computer. I don't understand what should I do?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Might he be reacting badly to the whole pregnancy and birth? It is well known that women go through a lot emotionally but the men are often forgotten.
8 months would put the start of the porn roughly a bit after you found out your pregnant?
Too much of a coincidence if you ask me.
Try and find out how it all affected him and his feelings for you.
I don't understand the last part of your story, how can you have sex 5 times per week if he won't touch you? Did you have more sex before? Or are you talking casual/romantic touches?
I really think all this is just caused by him having troubles dealing with the pregnancy. If possible try talking with him about it and allow him to be honest or try to go into counseling. Just for yourself do some reading up on how males experience their wives pregnancy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): I don't agree with the last response...I don't think he is addicted to porn, he just enjoys it. Most men look at porn, especially at his age. Men who watch porn, do it for themselves and it has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you. If I were you I would watch porn of men and leave it on the computer for your husband to see.....only if he feels the pain himself, he will be able to understand how you feel.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): He is addicted and needs help. This means he puts watching it before your feelings, so is not investing in your relationship as he should. If I were in your position I would ask him to leave and say you will only accept him back if he gets proper help. It is a demoralising and thankless position that you are in, at a time when he perhaps should be looking after you and protecting you he is causing big damage to your relationship. It may be related to becoming a Dad, or other stresses and issues in his life. Whatever thre reasons he is putting his needs before yours and is not focussed on what this means to you. Tell him and mean it.
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