I want to ask her out but have never been on a date before. Advice?
Q. Sometime before Christmas (11th December)I attened an informal meal and get together hosted by one of my friends. Anyway, I started talking to this girl while I was there. She left quite early, but in the time we did talk we got along ok. So I t...
A. 21 February 2009: You hit it right on the head, just try and relax and be yourself, go with the flow.
If you ask her out then it's best if you pay. It's one of those traditions that has not faded unfortunately for you
Just be a gent and let her get to see your ... (read in full...)
I want to ask her out but have never been on a date before. Advice?
Q. Sometime before Christmas (11th December)I attened an informal meal and get together hosted by one of my friends. Anyway, I started talking to this girl while I was there. She left quite early, but in the time we did talk we got along ok. So I t...
A. 21 February 2009: Yey!
Jut remember what I said about asking questions if you get nervous.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I'm very angry and can't calm down!
Q. Hey, I've got a problem that won't go away! I get very angry a lot and can't calm down, it may be because I've been rudley dumped (which might happen because of the temper) or becuase of other things. I really cannot calm myself down, though I...
A. 15 February 2009: Are you going to try any of the things that have been suggested?
I really think something as simple as a punch bag could help you.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I'm NOT pregnant and b/f driving me crazy asking me every day if I am!
Q. I have been with my bf off and on for a year now. One of the reasons we broke up before is he drove me nuts asking me everyday if i was pregnant. I am on the pill and he pulls out, usually. Well, last weekend he didn't pull out but the next day I ...
A. 15 February 2009: Well then every time he says it, either clip him round the ear or refuse to have sex for a week. Or grab a slightly chubby part of him and ask if that's a baby - do something to piss him off and he's get the message about how annoying it is.
Good ... (read in full...)
Do alcoholics always return to their former partners?
Q. My question is....do alcoholics always try return to their partners after they have made some catastrophic, not well thought out, off the wall life changing decision once they realize how stupid they were?...
A. 14 February 2009: Ah right... survey questions go in the forums. The main site is for people with problems.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
How do you find out if your dad is cheating?
Q. My dad has been acting kind of strange lately well I have seen him like this before too, it seems like it happens every once and a while. My dad works long hours, recently just a few days he has been leaving early to go to work and then coming ...
A. 14 February 2009: I think Melody B has the right idea here.
Talk to your mum, tell her you don't trust him and you don't want her to get hurt.
After that you have to back off and let her deal with it.
I am sure your dad will probably try and talk to you abou... (read in full...)
Why does he keep denying a GF?
Q. This guy I met a month ago. He's a flirt and since I met him he worked himself to be close to me looking for me and all. Once I thought he was really interested he backed off, so I wonder why? Well, searching in myspace I found his Girlfriend. ...
A. 14 February 2009: Why are you waiting for him to tell you?
What do you want him to do? Confess and cry?
The best way to show him you know he has a girlfriend and is playing you, is to say that you found his girlfriend and then cut him off all together.
All... (read in full...)
How to act after rejection, so he'll come running back?
Q. Theres this guy that seemed so into me, like majorly. (hes dead nice, and i think its unlikley hes speaking to other girls the same) he mentioned going to the cinema with me and hanging out , etc etc. we bumped into each other twice since weve...
A. 14 February 2009: Perhaps he's had a headache? It's only been a couple of days.
Just be really casual... "So are we going to hang out soon then?"
and then if he says no just ask why not. If he's been friendly and flirty then at the very least he should have reas... (read in full...)
He's expecting me to be a virgin..should I tell him I'm not?
Q. hey guys i reali do need some advice from u cz i got some problem. i met this guy and he is a family friend he likes me and i like him 2 however he is way older then me and has kids. he knew that i had bf before but i neva told him i've slept with ...
A. 14 February 2009: I think you should tell him, both to be honest from the start and also to protect yourself.
Why is it do important that you be a virgin? It sounds as though he just wants a young girl to take advantage of. If he knows the truth then you will kno... (read in full...)
New LDR Crush Need advice!
Q. I am a 23 year old male in Minnesota and I met this wonderful lady on IM the about a month ago. Immediately, I felt a strong connection with her. She is in Florida. We chat everyday for around four hours at a time and we have fun with each other ...
A. 14 February 2009: I think it's great that you have found someone you can click with... but please just be a little bit careful with your self and your heart.
She is being none committal and she is doing the smart thing. There was a question on here the other da... (read in full...)
I'm tired of all my husband's lies!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years (end of May). He lies constantly about everything. I caught him telling his ex-girlfriend that he misses her (at first he denied it, then he admitted it and said that's how he is with all his ...
A. 14 February 2009: I really think that if you go to counselling then you will have someone to talk to but that is it... and you are getting that for free here.
He is the one that needs counselling.
Tell him that if he won't go then you want a divorce as it is... (read in full...)
Do alcoholics always return to their former partners?
Q. My question is....do alcoholics always try return to their partners after they have made some catastrophic, not well thought out, off the wall life changing decision once they realize how stupid they were?...
A. 14 February 2009: I don't think there is a hard and fast rule that they have to...
Some may come back and try and make a go of it... some may see you as a reminder of bad times and want to move on... some may see you as weak enough to put up with them when they fan... (read in full...)
I still like her and I hold hope that we could get back together...
Q. I suffered from depression and she knew this before we went out. We went out for 3 months and she tried to get me to see that I needed help but i never did. It started getting worse so I had a lot of anger and I argued with her a lot. I argued with ...
A. 14 February 2009: I think you have really really hurt her, whether you meant to or not.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-my-husband-is-bi-polar-and.html
Read this question about how confused and hurt this woman feels. It may give you an idea of what she... (read in full...)
The man I'm seeing is 33 and still lives with his parents!
Q. I have been in a 4 year relationship with a man and we have a 4 year old son together. I am 24 and he is 33 but the problem is he still lives at home with his parents. He lives and works an hour away from me and and we only get to see him 2 days...
A. 14 February 2009: This doesn't even sound like a relationship to me... you're just a place he goes to watch TV sometimes.
If he doesn't treat you like a couple and his friends don't even see you as serious enough to invite you to things then there is somethin... (read in full...)
I'm tired of all my husband's lies!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years (end of May). He lies constantly about everything. I caught him telling his ex-girlfriend that he misses her (at first he denied it, then he admitted it and said that's how he is with all his ...
A. 14 February 2009: It sounds like this guy has a serious problem with telling the truth.
I don't know if it's compulsive to him or just that he got a hiding from his parents when he admitted to things but got away with stuff as long as he denied it.
Either ... (read in full...)
I hate my father...
Q. I hate my father and mother. I stilllive at home and I have no friends and no boyfriend and nobody wants me. I am always helping my dad on the farm and I get nothing for it. When I ask can I do something he says I can't, but I can when it suits ...
A. 14 February 2009: Your dad sounds like an abusive husband. He's isolated you from the world, and he's making you feel crap so you can't ever leave him.
You need to get online and start looking for jobs. Get ANYTHING that will pay you enough to get a roof over you... (read in full...)
I found a text on his phone telling his ex he loved her...
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months now and we're really happy together, there's just one thing that upsets me. He's always texting his ex, and I know I shouldn't mind as everyone tells me she's his ex for a reason but it just really ...
A. 14 February 2009: I really think he has to do something.
He's taking her side over yours, and even if he meant "love you" as a friendly thing... SURELY he is not stupid enough to think texting that to a girl who has feelings for him will not be leading her on.
H... (read in full...)
I'm very angry and can't calm down!
Q. Hey, I've got a problem that won't go away! I get very angry a lot and can't calm down, it may be because I've been rudley dumped (which might happen because of the temper) or becuase of other things. I really cannot calm myself down, though I...
A. 14 February 2009: Therapy and talking about it can only go so far.
It's quite common for teens to have real anger problems because anger can be caused by hormones and your body is awash with hormones right now because it's turning from a child into an adult.
... (read in full...)
FWB--I want him to say he wants to be in a committed relationship!
Q. Last week I wrote a question about my fwb. I have a hard time understanding him. This afternoon I called him up to see what he had planned for the weekend. He then asked where I was and I told him I was at the office finishing up some work. He ...
A. 14 February 2009: He's going out with you all the time because you are easy, and will have sex with him and will do all this stuff and not ask questions.
But he's also content to string you along which means he doesn't care about you. If a better woman came alo... (read in full...)
What's the big deal? I called her I dyke and she overheard it!
Q. Me (we're all 15) and some of my friends went this school dance last week. Well one of my super annoying friends (I think she likes me but I don't) kept asking me to dance with her finally I gave in (and I wanted to make my ex a bit jealous). After ...
A. 14 February 2009: Wow you are a horrible little boy! and when your hot date finds this out, she's going to dump you too.
You called her some horrible names and you don't understand why she is upset????
Do you even have a conscience?
She is better off wit... (read in full...)
I'm NOT pregnant and b/f driving me crazy asking me every day if I am!
Q. I have been with my bf off and on for a year now. One of the reasons we broke up before is he drove me nuts asking me everyday if i was pregnant. I am on the pill and he pulls out, usually. Well, last weekend he didn't pull out but the next day I ...
A. 14 February 2009: Buy a box of condoms and make him wear them every time... or tell him to go and get a vasectomy.
Or tell him the best way to avoid having children is not to have sex so refuse to have sex for a few weeks until he gets the message.
You aren't qu... (read in full...)
Dumped my married man and now, he hates the sight of me!
Q. I recently broke it off with a married man whom i was seeing for 7 years and we have a 5 yo child. Since now, he can't stand me, he lies to his wife and family saying I'm calling his phone and playing with it up, telling me need to get a man. He ...
A. 14 February 2009: You broke it off!
He's shocked and this is what he's thinking:
How could you do that to him? Don't you realise how wonderful and perfect he is? How could you not be happy being second best to his wife all the time and being treated badly?
... (read in full...)
How can I let him know I'm nowhere ready to sleep with him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months. I once told him that I'm not abstinent because of my religion but I explained to him that I'm not just gonna give it up to any guy but I think he's been hinting me that he thinks he's gonna get ...
A. 14 February 2009: Of course he's pushing for naked pics and sex and everything else. He's a teenage boy - that's what they do. They don't quite get the fact that these things can have BAD outcomes because they don't have periods and things, they don't quite get that ... (read in full...)
I have the serious hots for her!!!
Q. I have a problem, I've been going to the same school as this girl and every day I see her and never felt anything special for her but the other day... all of a sudden my system starts freeking out around her, my palms start to sweat, I'm as hard as ...
A. 14 February 2009: Oh hun, I always ask my husband about problems like this and he always says that exactly the same thing happens to every boy your age.
It happens to girls too. They just see a guy they've known forever and he'll hold the door for them or somethin... (read in full...)
How do I decide what to do when things are so up in the air?
Q. My partner and I met at Uni four years ago and had a laidback relationship for six months. During this time I cheated on him numerous times. We had not made it a deep and serious relationship (although monogamy *was* expected) cos we were both ...
A. 14 February 2009: I know it's hard to do when you just want to split up out of the blue but you can't stay with someone because it's more convenient.
It's not fair on either of you.
You two have been apart before and you were mates then.... so why not just tal... (read in full...)
I'm seeing a married man! Should I stop?
Q. I am seeing a married man and I am in love with him. He is love with me but cant leave his wife right now because of his business and financial resonsibilities. Hes afraid if he gets a divorce she will try to take his business, and destroy him ...
A. 14 February 2009: Well he's made it clear that he likes his cushy lifestyle and his money more than you.
If he was REALLY unhappy and REALLY loved you then he would be willing to go down a step and start his business again somewhere fresh.
He still has the co... (read in full...)
I think my husband is bi-polar and its tearing me up inside that he just doesn't care about all the pain he's caused!
Q. I recently split up with my husband. I am 100% sure he is bi polar. Although his behavior has never been good, for the past 6 months we have been like room mates w/ very occassional benefits. This is not at all what I wanted. I feel like I have s...
A. 14 February 2009: You do not seem to have grasped the fact that he is Mentally Ill.
He will not acknowledge the fact that he is acting crazily because he is MENTALLY ILL, it's all normal to him. He will not accept that you have been the one trying to save the marr... (read in full...)
Should I dump my boyfriend today?
Q. Its been 6 months and my boyfriend still hasn't told me he loves me. Being valentines day I thought that it might happen today but its 5 pm here and still nothing. Im getting sick of not knowing if im important to him or not. Dont get me wrong he...
A. 14 February 2009: 6 months is a while....
Don't do it right now as you are obviously a bit angry at this moment.
But I agree, if it's not going anywhere and he appears to be keeping his options open then it's not worth staying around. You don't want to waste yo... (read in full...)
I know he wants to be in a committed relationship, but with me? Or someone else?
Q. I'm a 24 year old female and I've recently gotten out of a relationship and am completely over him - we were completely wrong for each other and I am much happier not being with him! At the same time, a friend of mine (same age) was just dumped by ...
A. 14 February 2009: Well if he's JUST split up and thinks what you have may be worth pursuing then he's probably taking some thinking time.
He doesn't want to mess it up and is as confused as you.
Just give him some time to get over her and keep your distance a ... (read in full...)
Valentine's Day was horrible!
Q. today is our first valentines and sadly its the worst valentines day ever till today. calls me 1 am this morning after he finished work and tells me ohh todays valentines day i forgot happy valentines day honey ,, "yeah u 2 babe" so i wake up in the ...
A. 14 February 2009: Well you said a lot of things along the lines of "don't worry about it, don't get my anything" so he may not have been psychic enough to realise that you actually meant "PUT SOME DAMN EFFORT IN!!"
He was rubbish but give him a chance to make it ... (read in full...)
I let my ex move in with me..should I kick her out?
Q. Alright, I will try to spare you as many of the stupid details as possible. I had been dating this girl for about 10 months and we just recently broke up. She got kicked out of her parents house, and I let her move in with me, even though I knew it ...
A. 14 February 2009: I think you should talk about rent with her.
After all, your bills are hardly going down with an extra person in the place.
Make sure she pays the going rate and a bit more for a room in your area, and show her that she could have slightly lo... (read in full...)
Why did his ex get the naughty pictures of him and not me?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a while now, we live together. He has 2 kids and an ex-wife. Well, here about 3 weeks ago his ex sent me 3 pics that he has sent to her of him naked in our home (that we moved into together)!! She had been trying ...
A. 13 February 2009: This looks very bad to me.
Unless your name is Emma and her name is Emmb, then there is no excuse for him sending the pics to her.
Also, he has said can't block her number when surely the problem is that he's contacting her, not the other wa... (read in full...)
Any good suggestions for great wild sex?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for a while now but every time it's missionary... he just won't let me get on top for some reason... Any good suggestions for great wild sex? !!!=]...
A. 13 February 2009: The key to great sex is communication.
The fact you haven't a clue why he likes missionary means that you don't understand what it is about being on top of you that he likes.
If you don't know why he likes something then you can't know what ... (read in full...)
I don't want to follow in my family's footsteps...
Q. Hi, How can I argue to my parents that I don't want to follow their religion any more? We talked about Islam recently and they say I MUST follow it "for my own good" although I said I was atheist. My siblings are all being mean and pushy to me and ...
A. 13 February 2009: They want what is best for you and to them, having Islam is best.
I mean, going through life with complete faith that there is someone there for you, someone to hear your prayers, someone to watch over you and guide you... that's got to be prett... (read in full...)
He's been offered a job someplace else, and he hasn't called me back to talk about it yet. What do I do?
Q. So this is a dating dilemma, sort of. I have been dating a guy for some weeks now. Things are going great between us, he admits that we have good chemistry, respect for one another etc. Though, something he is puzzling me. I will send him a txt and ...
A. 13 February 2009: Well this job offer is obviously a big thing.
He's probably out celebrating!
It's only been a few hours so just chill out, watch a film and let him get back to you in his own time. He probably wants to get his head straight himself before h... (read in full...)
What does this mysterious blank email mean???
Q. Ex sent me a “blank” email that has nothing in it on the day before Valentine’s Day, what does it mean? Is he trying to tell me something ?...
A. 13 February 2009: What time did he send it? Was it after pub closing time?
There's a pretty high likely hood that he decided to send you a drunk email trying to get into your pants or tell you that he still loves you, then chickened out, went to click on cancel a... (read in full...)
Another rubbish night out. How do I get out of this mess?
Q. Hi. I've had a really lousy evening on the town. I went to a club and I was completely bored. I was approached by a couple of girls tonight, and I did absolutely nothing. I just can't communicate in a club. The music is just too damn noisy! Vale...
A. 13 February 2009: Clubs are rubbish places to meet people. All you can do is dance, snog, go home and have sex with and then never see them again.
They are giant meat markets.
If you want to meet girls then get out there! They aren't going to knock on your fr... (read in full...)
I want to ask her out but have never been on a date before. Advice?
Q. Sometime before Christmas (11th December)I attened an informal meal and get together hosted by one of my friends. Anyway, I started talking to this girl while I was there. She left quite early, but in the time we did talk we got along ok. So I t...
A. 13 February 2009: Yey!
Well done, I hope you get the reply you want.
She may have noticed that it is Valentines and be waiting till after the weekend to reply to avoid that whole day being an issue.
I hope she does get back to you though.
Good Luck!! x... (read in full...)
I wonder, does my ex still like me?
Q. My ex moved away and thats why we broke up. I went down to see him yesterday (first time in 2 years) and he: - Asked me if I'd like to go out for a drink with him. - Hugged me goodbye. - Ended up having a right laugh. - Friend said she thought...
A. 12 February 2009: Well the only reason you broke up is distance and now that is not a factor any more I think there is a pretty big chance that you will get back together.
Just get on and move down there and then go out and get drunk with him. I'd be very surprise... (read in full...)
What should I get my teacher for valentines day to show that I appreciate him?
Q. What should I get my teacher for valentines day to show that I appreciate him? I don't want it to be able to be taken the wrong way, though. just something little... any ideas?...
A. 12 February 2009: Valentines is about love, being in love, sex, and all that stuff.
There is nothing you can get a teacher without it coming across like you have a crush.
Wait till the end of term and get them a better present then instead.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
How can I make him see that the way he talks to me hurts me?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for just over 2 years. We don't live together yet as we just can't seem to stop arguing about things, big or small. I don't always think I am right but my boyfriend doesn't seem to ever see my point of view ...
A. 12 February 2009: He already knows. He has you exactly where he wants you right now so trying to talk to him about it won't change anything. He'll just dump you again.
In his mind, if you are constantly chasing him to get back together, then you can't actually... (read in full...)
Would a guy really sleep with you for a year if he was not really attracted to you, just for sex?
Q. I have been sleeping with this guy for about a year now on and off. We have not made a commitment to each other and it has never ever been brought up in a conversation. My friends just think he is using me and that I am just giving it away f...
A. 12 February 2009: I asked my husband and he agrees with me that it's quite likely he can sleep with you for a year and it not mean that much to him.
He can find you very sexually attractive without wanting a relationship or a future with you.
If you want more th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I have problems because I was afraid to tell him I was pregnant!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years in may. In about Nov I found out I was pregnant and was terrified to tell him. I tried to have it taken care of alone I couldn't afford it so I was screwed and I never told him its now feb ...
A. 12 February 2009: Your boyfriend should be the FIRST person you WANT to tell.
You shouldn't have felt you had to deal with this alone. And now he has found out and he's ANGRY with you - not because you didn't tell him but because you dared to let him impregna... (read in full...)
Sex toys and pornography, any recommendations?
Q. I have been with my wife for 17 years. We have a good sexual relationship. Its not great but good. It seems to have become routine. She likes it a certain way and we always do the same thing. I feel like a robot. My question regarding our sex life ...
A. 12 February 2009: My first reaction as a woman is "well porn is VERY different to just using a vibrator - she's clearly got a point."
Then I actually thought about it and her using a plastic penis can't be very nice for you. I know my husband is really not keen on ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex has moved in with him, what do you think?
Q. My boyfriends ex girlfiend has moved in to his flat because she got no where else to go.he says everything is fine between us but he seems distant.what should i do?...
A. 12 February 2009: Would you honestly be with a man who could turn his back on a girl he once cared about and put her on the street in temperatures of minus 3??????
I know this is not nice for you but what would you have him do?
I could be being distant because ... (read in full...)
My fiance lies to me about watching porn!
Q. I have wrote on here before about my fiance being really into porn. we broke up twice over it last night was the third time! He don't have the internet on his phone no more cause he said he took it off so I could stop thinking he was doing it! So ...
A. 12 February 2009: It sounds like he actually has a problem here rather than just likes it.
He's lying about this a lot, and he's risking his job.
You say you have broken up last night and I think you did the right thing. Stay broken up with him and leave him to... (read in full...)
I want to ask her out but have never been on a date before. Advice?
Q. Sometime before Christmas (11th December)I attened an informal meal and get together hosted by one of my friends. Anyway, I started talking to this girl while I was there. She left quite early, but in the time we did talk we got along ok. So I t...
A. 11 February 2009: Hun, you've already been on a date. You took her for coffee. You said yourself that there were nerves and tension on both sides - i.e. it wasn't just meeting as a friend, it was something more.
Just call her, take the bull by the horns, take a d... (read in full...)
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