I want to ask her out but have never been on a date before. Advice?
Q. Sometime before Christmas (11th December)I attened an informal meal and get together hosted by one of my friends. Anyway, I started talking to this girl while I was there. She left quite early, but in the time we did talk we got along ok. So I t...
A. 21 February 2009: You hit it right on the head, just try and relax and be yourself, go with the flow.
If you ask her out then it's best if you pay. It's one of those traditions that has not faded unfortunately for you
Just be a gent and let her get to see your ... (read in full...)
I want to ask her out but have never been on a date before. Advice?
Q. Sometime before Christmas (11th December)I attened an informal meal and get together hosted by one of my friends. Anyway, I started talking to this girl while I was there. She left quite early, but in the time we did talk we got along ok. So I t...
A. 21 February 2009: Yey!
Jut remember what I said about asking questions if you get nervous.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I'm sick of him pouting because I'm not ready to have sex!
Q. Ok, so I've been with my boyfriend for almost a month now. :) He keeps pushing the sex issue. I feel I'm not completely ready just yet. And when I say 'no' he pouts! I'm getting a little sick of it.. For example: This morning I had an appt. to ...
A. 20 February 2009: You are not teens but I think the issue is the same. You have to feel comfy with it and he is being immature and not wanting to wait for you.
If he throws a sulk over this, then what else is he going to pout about? Is this going to be his standard... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to be so rough and always wants anal sex
Q. My BF of 6 months is nice and gentle except in bed. I mean he starts nice and gentle but it always gets very dominant. He was abused as a child and HAS to be the dominant person in bed. I want to please him, but he now wants anal sex EVERY time ...
A. 20 February 2009: The fact he was abused is very sad, and it may explain some of this but why do you seem to think this makes it ok for him to want to abuse you?
It does sound like he is spiralling into a very bad place. You don't say how long you have been wit... (read in full...)
I just want to end our friendship!
Q. My best friend is a guy. We met almost two years ago. When we met, we started out dating each other - going out, seeing each other, having sex, etc. After about a month, he never mentioned anything about a relationship so I asked him how he felt ...
A. 20 February 2009: You want a boyfriend, he wants easy sex and a mate who'll help him pull girls.
This is never going to work and he's never going to wake up one day and think "I know! I'll be a proper boyfriend to this girl and not have everything I want any more... (read in full...)
Would you take this as a sexual advance? Or is it a joke?
Q. If your husband forwarded an email to another woman (work colleague) called 'Track your partner. Careful!!' which shows a google earth type thing which gradually homes in on your postcode and shows two people in the back garden sh*gging, would you ...
A. 20 February 2009: Haha, that sounds like a really funny website! Send us a link!
Firstly: IT WAS A JOKE
Secondly: Why are you checking his emails? What business of yours?
If you don;t trust him then tell him so he can make an effort to prove that he's not t... (read in full...)
How old were you when you first French-kissed?
Q. Ummm. I've never pulled ( kissed with tounges ) a guy, I'm 13... How old were YOU when you first did that... Am I too young? ...
A. 20 February 2009: 14. It was horrible. He had NO idea what he was doing.
I didn't do it again till I was 16 and met a boy who I was with for 3 years in the end.
Then i went to uni and did it a LOT and it was great most of the time.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Why would my friends think that I will end up pregnant before collage and how to prove them wrong?
Q. im confused. My friends keep saying that i will end up pregnant before i enter collage. Im in marching band like all of my friends i play the flute(we don't have over night band camp by the way). My parents aren't the most caring people and they ...
A. 20 February 2009: Well if you were snogging away in front of them all the time then they probably think you were doing a LOT more when not in front of a class full of people.
If you want to make it in life then well done you. Keep safe and don't have sex for a LO... (read in full...)
Is he using me till something better comes along?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we are generally happy. The problem is that he has never told me he loves me, he says that he would probably cheat on me if the right opportunatity come along and he wants to marry someone who is from ...
A. 18 February 2009: He's made it clear that you have no future together... but at the same time he does like you so likes having you as his girlfriend.
He's letting you make the decision here. You can stick with him till he leaves you for someone else, but have tha... (read in full...)
Valentines day, how would you take it.
Q. I am with my boyfriend for four years and two days before valentines day my 9 month old granddaughter (special needs) suffered a gran mol seizure. She was rushed to the hospital and released on valentines day. During this time I neglected to pick ...
A. 17 February 2009: Your Grand daughter having a massive seizure is one thing, and I really don't think he's annoyed that you went to be with her for that.
But the fact that you were being distant to him, and then left it to the day before valentines to "pick up... (read in full...)
What to do about his porn habit?
Q. I am currently engaged and I am about 7 months into this relationship. I also am pregnant, but even that doesn't mess with the way I feel about the "porn" issue. I was raised in the country and never believed in looking at another person, whether it ...
A. 17 February 2009: Has the whole porn issue not come up before engagement and you getting pregnant?
You've left this a bit late to talk about with him since you are now stuck with him, at least as the mother of his child, for the next 25 years.
The fact you ... (read in full...)
Should I go on the pill in advance and how can I bring it up with my mum?
Q. Hello, I'm 18 and in a long distance relationship and have just found out that my boyfriend will be able to come over in August :) We will have been together for a year then :) Anyway, I would quite like to have sex and I think that at the leas...
A. 17 February 2009: You're doing the right thing - the pill can play havoc with your system for the first couple of months of taking it.
Just bring it up really casually, like as if you suddenly remembered it. "Oh that reminds me I've got to call the doctor today...... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is acting funny
Q. My boyfriend did something Friday night that found inappropriate and he told me I was just being jealous.... like he says a lot lately.... he doesn't want apologies. He did make me dinner for Vday and chocolates but said he was just being nice for ...
A. 17 February 2009: Ah deployment.
He needs to recognise that he is being an arse and it's probably stress related.
He's probably mentally trying to protect himself so that during that 3 years when you move on and meet someone else, he will know you were evil an... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my parents will not take me seriously when I tell them I want to marry!
Q. I am in an amazing relationship with the perfect guy. We are both different as individuals but somehow we just completely click. We're both still young (him 20 and me 18) but we know that we want to spend our lives together. We are definitely not ...
A. 17 February 2009: You don't say how long you have been together.
My advice is not to tell them that you want to get married. If it's not any time soon then what is the point?
It's only an engagement when you plan to marry in the near future. Right now all th... (read in full...)
Without her I have nobody to talk to for comfort. What should I do?
Q. My girlfriend and I had been going out for 8 months and yesterday she decided to break up with me. We'd been extremely close friends leading up to the relationship and she still felt like my friend during. I know that I love her. There are so many ...
A. 17 February 2009: I know you say that you helped her through some things but by the sounds of it, she was helping you through things as well.
If she was your only friend, and she was your entire focus in life, then it's no wonder she was feeling a bit pressure... (read in full...)
Breastfeeding a 10-year-old? I'm shocked, what do you think?
Q. I was shocked! I recently discovered that my aunt sister in-law is still breastfeeding her 10 year old daughter. I came about this information from my own daughter around the same age. Being the concerned parent that I am casually engaged the topic ...
A. 16 February 2009: I have heard of this kind of thing... but it's probably not talked about for a reason.
I'd just leave them to it.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes me so paranoid that he will cheat!
Q. I am so paranoid over my relationship me and my boyfriend have been together for a few months now, and I am so paranoid that he will cheat on me. I have never had this feeling in previous relationships. Its not total paranoia as he has cheated o...
A. 15 February 2009: There doesn't seem to be any reason why you would be different and why he would Not cheat on you.
I really would think twice about being with this guy. You are going to be constantly scared and waiting for it to happen and that is never good.
... (read in full...)
I hate my family - do I have to forgive?
Q. OK back in 2006 I had enough of my siblings, all my life my second to oldest brother and my older sister picked with me all my life. All they ever did to me was tear me down and mess with me. Maybe this is why I have a low self confidence in myself ...
A. 15 February 2009: If I were you I'd move away to a completely new area.
You don't HAVE to have your family in your life.
Move away and make a new life and a fresh start completely new.
Start apply for jobs on the other side of the country and go.
Good ... (read in full...)
We're only talking but it doesn't feel quite right...
Q. three weeks ago I got reconnected with my first love/ serious boyfriend through facebook. His sister in law found me which lead to all his family members finding me. He requested to be a friend and even sent a message saying hi. I didn't think...
A. 15 February 2009: I think you have to use your women's intuition on this.
Now, if you were fine and happy and just saw him as an old mate and nothing more then it would be ok.
If he didn't seem to be texting you and clicking with you on that level then it wo... (read in full...)
Would seeing the scars on my thigh put a guy off?
Q. About a year and a half ago, I experimented a little in the way of self harm (cutting) when I got angry/upset. On the two occasions I did it, I was very drunk. On the second occasion that it happened, I was extremely drunk and was cutting my leg a ...
A. 15 February 2009: To be perfectly honest, I would tell them it was from leg surgery or something for a good long while.
If you tell them the truth up front then it might make them think you are like that NOW and they'll have to take you down A&E for your weekly o... (read in full...)
Can I make him forget about his ex?
Q. okay, the guy i have been sending messages to telling him how much i like him still loves his ex. i am talking to him on myspace and he is telling me how much he loves her and how she thinks he is talking behind her back, and etc. anyways is ther...
A. 15 February 2009: If you force the issue then you risk being his rebound girl.
You are just going to have to have some patience. Sorry.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Nosy coworker irritates me! How can I tell her she is "too involved" in my affairs?
Q. Hello: I started a job last year and neeldess to say I have observed and or experienced who is two-faced, manipulator,mind gamer etc..in the workplace. I always ran my own business, but now, I work with other people , so it is different wor...
A. 15 February 2009: Well in short, she has done you a favour and is helping you get over this Joe.
So rather than get huffy about it why not just have a quiet word and THANK her for helping you and tell her that it has worked and you are over him.
Tell her that... (read in full...)
He married to get into the country, now I want to marry him!
Q. I know what I'm about disclose is terrible and I feel like crap for my part in all of this but I really need some advice..... I met my partner about 2 and a bit years ago at work and we just clicked straight away. We went out a few times, spoke ev...
A. 15 February 2009: I think it all depends on the nature of his marriage.
If she is in it for the cash / convenience then she may be fine with him having you. She may have her own reasons to marry.
However, if he is duping her into believing that he loves her and... (read in full...)
Do you consider eczema a turn off?
Q. Hi guys, I used to suffer from severe eczema, now its recently cleared up although I do get the occasional redness, not bad or anything, just the odd red patch around the body, never any on my face or anything. I was just wondering if most of you ...
A. 15 February 2009: I think if it was on your actual penis I would be a bit worried due to the fact of where you want to put it...
If it was just some random little bit of redness then I wouldn't be bothered at all as hopefully you'd be doing various things to take ... (read in full...)
Would seeing the scars on my thigh put a guy off?
Q. About a year and a half ago, I experimented a little in the way of self harm (cutting) when I got angry/upset. On the two occasions I did it, I was very drunk. On the second occasion that it happened, I was extremely drunk and was cutting my leg a ...
A. 15 February 2009: I think Other Starfish has the right idea... there is no way that when a guy gets you to the point of being naked enough to see your upper thigh, that his eyes are going to be on that scar.
Lots of us have scars or other things in odd places, ... (read in full...)
Should I buy him a better present next time or is he not being fair on me?
Q. Heya, these are the presents I bought for my valentines. I though about them really carefully before I bought them and each one of them has a meaning behind it. A teddy bear (it was a erally cute valentines one and reminded me of him because ...
A. 15 February 2009: Well if he shows his mum then he's going to have to explain it all to her and she'll take the mickey out of him and will probably tell the rest of his family too.
I always find it's nice to get a sweet jokey little gift like yours but also get... (read in full...)
Is this woman in the office indirectly trying to attract my attention?
Q. Hello. Just a quick question if I may about office behaviour from women. I've got a big crush on this very special woman at work - we smile at each other alot (broad - not fake.......we're talking real crow's feet around the eyes type smiles here!) ...
A. 15 February 2009: It sounds very childish but I must admit that I have made sure that I've walked past guys I like in the past deliberately... given my step a bit of extra wiggle and then very carefully checked to see if they are looking at me.
It's a very subtle w... (read in full...)
My b/f insists to have sex with me, I'm underage, should I give in?
Q. im 14 and i have a 18 year old online boyfriend, but every time we chat online he says that he wants to have sex with me, but i kind of want to have sex with him but im not sure if i should, so should i have sex with him or not?...
A. 15 February 2009: Wow this sounds like CLASSIC predator behaviour.
He is doing what they call GROOMING.
I would put MONEY on the fact that when you meet him he confesses to being a little bit older than 18... like 10 years older. But he only lied because he ... (read in full...)
My friends have problems accepting my sexual orientation!
Q. I have mostly identified as bi, but have not slept with a woman until last summer. Previously I was very unhappy with my bf, mostly coming from sexual differences (I like kissing and need touch to feel loved, for him "sex" equals "interco...
A. 15 February 2009: The reason they don't understand is that they are men.
Deep down they KNOW that us girls will only ever really be satisfied by a big penis like theirs and that you are really only going Lesbo because you've recently lost your boyfriend. Also... ... (read in full...)
How do I stop my ex messing with my head?
Q. Me and my ex- boyfriend broke up around 8 months ago but we remained good friends. We don't talk often but when we do the conversations always end with him telling me how much he misses me and how he would love to be with me again. Normally I just ...
A. 15 February 2009: He may not be doing this deliberately, and in his sad little mind he's being "honest" with you.
However what he is really doing is keeping you as a back up plan.
If he does it again turn the tables. He says he's doing it because he's you... (read in full...)
Why arrange to meet him when she knows damn well the trouble I went through for her.
Q. I have a close female friend who doesn't know many people in the area. I used to (and secretly still do) have feelings for her but being the incapable blithering fool that I am I successfully managed to destroy any chance of a relationship. A fe...
A. 15 February 2009: I think that she lied because:
1: She will know you still like her and didn't want to say "had a better offer, cheers easy!! Think of me having lots of sex with someone who is not you! x"
2: She is a private person so didn't want to say "I'm off... (read in full...)
I don't love him any more but I don't want to lose everything I have worked so hard for and hurt my son.
Q. I have been with my partner for about 8 years. We have a son together who is 7 years old and I also have a 18 year old son by a previous marriage who lives with us. My partner is a functioning alcoholic. He drinks daily, starting ususall...
A. 15 February 2009: Alcoholics often have to hit rock bottom before they will accept that they have done anything wrong.
Rock bottom for him could be when you leave him, it could be when he loses the house, it could be when he finds himself drinking anti-fre... (read in full...)
I'm very angry and can't calm down!
Q. Hey, I've got a problem that won't go away! I get very angry a lot and can't calm down, it may be because I've been rudley dumped (which might happen because of the temper) or becuase of other things. I really cannot calm myself down, though I...
A. 15 February 2009: Are you going to try any of the things that have been suggested?
I really think something as simple as a punch bag could help you.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I'm NOT pregnant and b/f driving me crazy asking me every day if I am!
Q. I have been with my bf off and on for a year now. One of the reasons we broke up before is he drove me nuts asking me everyday if i was pregnant. I am on the pill and he pulls out, usually. Well, last weekend he didn't pull out but the next day I ...
A. 15 February 2009: Well then every time he says it, either clip him round the ear or refuse to have sex for a week. Or grab a slightly chubby part of him and ask if that's a baby - do something to piss him off and he's get the message about how annoying it is.
Good ... (read in full...)
I'm doing ok on my own and I don't know if I should be in a relationship or not?
Q. It is Valentines day and I guess it has got me thinking. Three years ago my twelve year relationship ended and my boyfriend just withdrew from my life. I have done well in every area of my life but when it comes to romance, I am terrified and with ...
A. 14 February 2009: Some people are perfectly happy without "love."
I was perfectly happy being single. (Although then I met my husband and he tricked me into falling for him.)
I could happily see myself going through life with the odd one night stand, the odd f... (read in full...)
I don't want to compromise my own morals but I do want to keep my girlfriend happy and satisfied.
Q. Hi. First off, my girlfriend (23) and I (24) finally got together about a week ago. Secondly, a little over six months ago, she was finally strong enough to get out of a six-year relationship with a complete moron/asshole who physically and ...
A. 14 February 2009: If you don't believe in sex before marriage then you should stick to that.
But else are you willing to do before your wedding night?
You can do "fingering" and oral sex which may help her. Also would you be ok with her using sex toys?
Jus... (read in full...)
There is no physical attraction for me on my part.
Q. I'm with a really kind lovely guy but there's just no physical attraction on my part. We've had sex about 3/4 times and it's just completely boring for me! I do usually enjoy sex but it's more like just having sex for the sake of it or to keep him ...
A. 14 February 2009: Well if you are looking to settle for this guy rather than holding out for someone decent, AND run the risk that you'll leave him for someone who DOES attract you further down the line, hurting him badly in the process.... then that's sad, but ... (read in full...)
Who here is really in love after two years?
Q. I decided to ask this question after receiving a reply on here from another user talking about after two years of marriage she is no longer happy with her guy - I've never really lasted much longer than 2 years with any one guy either. Anyo...
A. 14 February 2009: Scientists reckon that the every day bog standard feeling of love lasts for 3 years on average.
In cave man times this would be just long enough to raise a child so its on its feet and running with the rest of the pack and then you'd both move on.... (read in full...)
Do alcoholics always return to their former partners?
Q. My question is....do alcoholics always try return to their partners after they have made some catastrophic, not well thought out, off the wall life changing decision once they realize how stupid they were?...
A. 14 February 2009: Ah right... survey questions go in the forums. The main site is for people with problems.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I'm scared so I send annoymous "I like you" messages
Q. okay, i like this boy, i have known him for a little more than a year. we were like best friends but then he moved to another school that isn't too far away from where my dad lives and i come over to my dads every weekend. anyways before i even knew ...
A. 14 February 2009: You've taken a risk and now you just have to hold your nerve. It's a gamble and could go one way or the other. If he still has a girlfriend though, then he may not be willing to just drop her. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst, a... (read in full...)
He doesn't care...!!!
Q. Today is valentines day.... and he hasn't even called me or sent me nothing! ...
A. 14 February 2009: You are 5 hours behind me and it's only 3pm here.
If he hasn't been in touch by midnight then call him and dump him.
But don't sit by the phone like a little puppy. You are better than that.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
How do you find out if your dad is cheating?
Q. My dad has been acting kind of strange lately well I have seen him like this before too, it seems like it happens every once and a while. My dad works long hours, recently just a few days he has been leaving early to go to work and then coming ...
A. 14 February 2009: I think Melody B has the right idea here.
Talk to your mum, tell her you don't trust him and you don't want her to get hurt.
After that you have to back off and let her deal with it.
I am sure your dad will probably try and talk to you abou... (read in full...)
Do alcoholics always return to their former partners?
Q. My question is....do alcoholics always try return to their partners after they have made some catastrophic, not well thought out, off the wall life changing decision once they realize how stupid they were?...
A. 14 February 2009: I don't think there is a hard and fast rule that they have to...
Some may come back and try and make a go of it... some may see you as a reminder of bad times and want to move on... some may see you as weak enough to put up with them when they fan... (read in full...)
I'm very angry and can't calm down!
Q. Hey, I've got a problem that won't go away! I get very angry a lot and can't calm down, it may be because I've been rudley dumped (which might happen because of the temper) or becuase of other things. I really cannot calm myself down, though I...
A. 14 February 2009: Therapy and talking about it can only go so far.
It's quite common for teens to have real anger problems because anger can be caused by hormones and your body is awash with hormones right now because it's turning from a child into an adult.
... (read in full...)
I'm NOT pregnant and b/f driving me crazy asking me every day if I am!
Q. I have been with my bf off and on for a year now. One of the reasons we broke up before is he drove me nuts asking me everyday if i was pregnant. I am on the pill and he pulls out, usually. Well, last weekend he didn't pull out but the next day I ...
A. 14 February 2009: Buy a box of condoms and make him wear them every time... or tell him to go and get a vasectomy.
Or tell him the best way to avoid having children is not to have sex so refuse to have sex for a few weeks until he gets the message.
You aren't qu... (read in full...)
I want to ask her out but have never been on a date before. Advice?
Q. Sometime before Christmas (11th December)I attened an informal meal and get together hosted by one of my friends. Anyway, I started talking to this girl while I was there. She left quite early, but in the time we did talk we got along ok. So I t...
A. 13 February 2009: Yey!
Well done, I hope you get the reply you want.
She may have noticed that it is Valentines and be waiting till after the weekend to reply to avoid that whole day being an issue.
I hope she does get back to you though.
Good Luck!! x... (read in full...)
I want to ask her out but have never been on a date before. Advice?
Q. Sometime before Christmas (11th December)I attened an informal meal and get together hosted by one of my friends. Anyway, I started talking to this girl while I was there. She left quite early, but in the time we did talk we got along ok. So I t...
A. 11 February 2009: Hun, you've already been on a date. You took her for coffee. You said yourself that there were nerves and tension on both sides - i.e. it wasn't just meeting as a friend, it was something more.
Just call her, take the bull by the horns, take a d... (read in full...)
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