A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sometime before Christmas (11th December)I attened an informal meal and get together hosted by one of my friends.Anyway, I started talking to this girl while I was there. She left quite early, but in the time we did talk we got along ok. So I thought I would like to meet again, so I looked for her on facebook to no avail, until one day I came across her page accidentally.So we started talking every so often, and some of the little things she said about herself interested me, so I asked if she would like to meet, so we agreed to do so after the exams. This was sometime in January.I suggested we meet last weekend, but she suggested the weekend after, but changed her mind and agreed for some reason.Well we did eventually meet, and she seemed genuinely happy to see me. There was definitely some awkwardness at first. But I bought her a coffee and we chatted for quite a while about various topics (I was finding it difficult to know what to say at times because I felt nervous). I really really enjoyed it, but I had to leave after an hour and a half because I had promised my best friend I would help him with looking for a house for the next university year.So, that meeting went well, and I know she wants to see me again some time. And I her. It's a bit early for me to think I am becoming attracted to her I know, but although she might not be the person most would feel an instant attraction to, she has some charm to her that draws me in.I actually saw her last night very briefly when I went to buy some milk. We talked for a few moments. There wasn't much to say really at that time I guess.But she wants to see me again soon. I do as well. One of my main reasons is very clearly explained here. I don't know if she knows...I am tempted to ask her for dinner maybe, but I am really nervous, and have never had a date before...I won't ask her out right away...Advice?
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best friend, christmas, facebook, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I have asked out for a walk and a meal, just got to wait and see.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUnfortunately? HahaI always pay I really don't mind. It is only money. I just don't want to give the impression of being someone who wants to pay their way into something.I am only trying to be kind and generous but it always bugs me...
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (21 February 2009):
You hit it right on the head, just try and relax and be yourself, go with the flow.
If you ask her out then it's best if you pay. It's one of those traditions that has not faded unfortunately for you
Just be a gent and let her get to see your personality a bit more so she can see if she likes it.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAny other advice? Should I do what I always do and offer to pay for the coffee/tea/other as always?
Or should I not worry about anything, and just, go with the flow as some would put it?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 February 2009):
Yey!
Jut remember what I said about asking questions if you get nervous.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah we are supposed to be meeting on Sunday.
I had forgotten it was Valentine's Day last week when I asked her to meet me! Had not registered at all. Haha.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (13 February 2009):
Yey!
Well done, I hope you get the reply you want.
She may have noticed that it is Valentines and be waiting till after the weekend to reply to avoid that whole day being an issue.
I hope she does get back to you though.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlready been on a date?
I had not thought of it like that.
Well I have asked to meet again, just awaiting a reply.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (11 February 2009):
Hun, you've already been on a date. You took her for coffee. You said yourself that there were nerves and tension on both sides - i.e. it wasn't just meeting as a friend, it was something more.
Just call her, take the bull by the horns, take a deep breath, and tell her that you were thinking about her today and you really want to see her again. Could you possibly take her out for dinner this week some time?
I'd avoid the weekend because it's valentines so everywhere will be booked up and it will add extra pressure. Ask her to go somewhere mid week. It'll just be dinner so it's not going to be a late one on a school night.
If you get nervous and it goes quiet then the magic rule is to ask a question about her. Ask about her past and her future, what she thinks of something that interests you, about uni, about what films she's into, find something you have in common and then chat about it.
Also ask her about he views on Valentines... over rated commercial money spinner / bit or romantic fun and chance to do something brilliant???
That way, if it goes well you can ask to take her out on the weekend, to either, romantically walk by the river and then on to dinner - OR to go paintballing / go karting and have an Anti-Romance romantic date.
Now, take a deep breath, psyche yourself up a bit and get in touch with her now before you chicken out!
Good Luck!! xx
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