A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months. I once told him that I'm not abstinent because of my religion but I explained to him that I'm not just gonna give it up to any guy but I think he's been hinting me that he thinks he's gonna get lucky with me and he's not. He always wants to sneak me out because my dad doesn't know that we're dating and he always wants to come over when my dad's out or something and he doesn't get it that he can't. I like him when we're in public and at school but I hate when he suggests stuff like that, also he always asks me for pics and usually he's hinting for me to do it au naturel if you get my meaning which he never gets either cause I'm not stupid enough to do that. Anyway the point of this question is I don't know what to do about the fact that he thinks he's gonna have all of the things listed above from me. How do I break it to him that he's not.jay Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): well he broke up with me.
im okay though.
im the best he'll evr have and i feel bad for the girl that gets him because no matter how sweet he seems he can turn so fast.
thanks for the help you guys.
:)
jay
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (14 February 2009):
Of course he's pushing for naked pics and sex and everything else. He's a teenage boy - that's what they do. They don't quite get the fact that these things can have BAD outcomes because they don't have periods and things, they don't quite get that what feels great for them, can actually lead to a baby for you.
Just tell him next time he says anything about sneaking over or anything that it is NEVER going to happen and he needs to SHUT UP about it.
He's going on and on because you haven't told him to stop, so he thinks he's in with a chance. They do not get subtle hints.
Also, I am glad that you are not daft enough to send him any pictures. It is NEVER a good idea, because even if he is the most trust worthy person in the world, who knows when his computer will get hacked, or his friends will look at them when he goes to the loo and fwd them on to everyone.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Tomas  +, writes (14 February 2009):
"You should never consider sleeping with a guy unless you think he would be the father to your children."
Seconded.
I had a girlfriend once who told me that she wasn't a virgin, but she felt losing her virginity had been a mistake, and that while she didn't mind fooling around some, she was not interested in intercourse and thought I should know up front.
I felt crestfallen for about a day, and then we got on and had lots of fun. But never intercourse.
Just tell him clearly and no-nonsense what you want, and ask that he understands it. Get that "yes" or "okay" from him, not "yeah we'll see" ... there is no "seeing" (or climbing in bed etc) until he acknowledges your boundaries. He needs to know you are serious, so he isn't wasting either of your times.
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A
female
reader, EzraMayweather +, writes (14 February 2009):
 Girl drop him. You should be focusing on wut college you want to attend and getting finacial aid and scholarships. You not going to freak this boy and obviously that's all he wants. Let him go and stick to your gunz, the way you think makes you all the more valuable. I am 19, I lost my virginity when I was 18. Still regret it.....all in all, don't give him any, the pig isn't worth it. I'm not saying break it of, but don't let him near your jewel, no finger, no face , no noting. Your precious and @ thid age he souldnt be this freaky anyway, he will be a pedifle and a perv when he gets older!
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A
female
reader, CarrieBradshaw  +, writes (14 February 2009):
 First of all well done for not letting someone pressurise you into sleeping with them. Many girls who lose their virginity at a young age often regret it later. Personally I think you should sit him down and tell it to his face that you are not ready to have a sexual relationship just yet. If he is a decent enough guy he should respect this and wait until you are ready. If not, stop seeing him rather than risking getting hurt or regretting it.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (14 February 2009):
 Pictures have an incredibly long "shelf life" and once they are our there, they are totally out of your jurisdiction. So don't give in to the emotional blackmail to hand them over. And good for you for sticking to your guns. The fact is, women have been pestered since time immemorial to give it up, and it's up to you to keep him at arm's length. The simple math is that sex isn't just sex, it's babies!!!!!!! And whether or not he thinks that it's just fun with a purpose, sex makes babies. You should never consider sleeping with a guy unless you think he would be the father to your children. A SOBERING THOUGHT!!!! And if he doesn't see your insight into this reality, he isn't worth hanging around. ANY guy worth marrying and becoming the father of your children WILL RESPECT YOU AND YOUR OPINIONS!!!! IT'S VERY PURE AND SIMPLE SCIENCE. XXX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): Maybe you should just say no?
I mean your like what 13-15?
Your too young. He's too young.
Tell him you've deciding to go abstinent because u respect urself enough to not do it unless your ready.
if he really loves you he'll understand. If he doesn't and keeps asking for it tell him to go jack off to porn cause he's not getting anything from you.
Hope that helps.
=].
*Cass*
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