My husband is mentally abusive and I just don't know what to do anymore!
Q. I have been on here before looking for advise about my mentally abusive husband. I will not list all of the horrific details again, even if I had the strenght to go through it one more time, I just don't have the will. This has been going on for ...
A. 11 February 2009: Great news!
I am glad you could do it and I hope the future for you is looking brighter.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
If he doesn't care why would he text so much?
Q. hi i have problem with someone.I am a girl and i have met with someone who is working in the same place with me and he wanted my cell and after that we started to talk almost everyday and everyday we text it happens for 3 weeks.he always says me u ...
A. 4 February 2009: Sounds like the kind of jokey text I would send "Are you ok? Or do you just not love me any more!? x" if someone had gone off quietly at the end of the day.
He's joking because you are his mate.
I really think you need to work on your self est... (read in full...)
Why can't I make her happy?
Q. Took her to dinner and a movie on Friday night. She stayed at my place on Saturday night. I picked her up, helped her pack her bag. We were getting a snowstorm that night and the next day. I tended on her hand and foot. Cooked for her, got her ...
A. 4 February 2009: So you've been dating for a week, and she is showing her colours already.
Just because you treat someone like a queen doesn't make her into one. It just makes them a psycho with a good life.
If she is turning out to be the hyper-sensitive ... (read in full...)
My b/f keeps going out & partying with her and she's crushing on him!
Q. Would you be uncomfortable if your bf was going out partying with a girl, every weekend, and sometimes even during the week, but not just any girl, a girl who has a major crush on him, a girl who has made moves on him? My bf is doing all of the...
A. 4 February 2009: Just because the holiday cost money doesn't mean you have to go on it.
Do you actually want to pay to spend a week avoiding sex and all his crap to try and get it because you know you are going to dump him?
Tell him now that it is over and he m... (read in full...)
He wants to sort out some issues and in the meantime just be friends...
Q. I have recently met a lovely, caring man through a mutual friend. We have been seeing each other a lot, and have been out on what I see as dates, and have spent lots of time kissing and cuddling and watching movies. We have got touchy feely, and ...
A. 4 February 2009: I think he is doing the right thing if he has issues and he wants to get things straight.
But this is very dangerous as well. You may stray into being Friends With Benefits which NEVER NEVER works out well in situations like this. (read how many... (read in full...)
If he doesn't care why would he text so much?
Q. hi i have problem with someone.I am a girl and i have met with someone who is working in the same place with me and he wanted my cell and after that we started to talk almost everyday and everyday we text it happens for 3 weeks.he always says me u ...
A. 4 February 2009: He is your friend. Do you not have friends that you text a lot?
Go out with the other guy who asked you out. This boy doesn't want a girlfriend or he would have said so by now.
Don't assume that if a boy is nice to you, you should fall for ... (read in full...)
How to build a relationship with no love?
Q. I have been married for 30 years and 15 yrs ago i had a friendship which my wife found out about. for the last 15 years she has referred back to this relationship, she has become very jealous has become over weight and all we do is argue. i have ...
A. 4 February 2009: Give it a chance. Remember how much you felt for her when you met her. She is still that woman.
Do the things that you used to do when you were dating and just try to relax and open your mind.
If it still does not work then you can at least say... (read in full...)
I've had a crush on him for a year
Q. i have this problem.. i have a crush on someone, i have a crush on him since january 23, 2008 -- so it means that i have a crush on him for a year. and he's a graduating student while i'm in sophomore year only.. my friends told me that i'm in love ...
A. 4 February 2009: If he knows that you like him and he hasn't asked you out then telling him you love him will just freak him out.
Unrequited love is the most painful thing in the world. I was in love with a guy in my year at school for 2 and a half years and I us... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and my hubby is constantly putting me down and cussing at me, will this ever change?
Q. im 8 wks pregnant with my first child...i recently got married to my high school sweetheart in sept of 08..been together since 06 recently he is being really mean and calling me nameslazy..etcand constanstly putting me down and cussing at me i ...
A. 4 February 2009: He may change he may not.
He will only change if you give him a really big kick up the bum.
Next time he shouts at you or calls you a name just tell him you are pregnant and do not have to put up with this kind of behaviour. Tell him that yo... (read in full...)
How do I get my mistreated brother away from my aunt?
Q. hi, i've got this aunt and we used get along gr8 until now. she's been takin care of my baby brother since my parents died a few years ago. he's now 11 and she's started making demands for large amounts of cash. she says its to buy him stuff and pay ...
A. 4 February 2009: Stop giving her money and tell her you want to take care of him yourself.
If she causes problems then threaten to go to the authorities. Surely it cannot be legal to let a child go hungry in your country.
Tell her you will let everyone in town... (read in full...)
My b/f keeps going out & partying with her and she's crushing on him!
Q. Would you be uncomfortable if your bf was going out partying with a girl, every weekend, and sometimes even during the week, but not just any girl, a girl who has a major crush on him, a girl who has made moves on him? My bf is doing all of the...
A. 4 February 2009: None of the things he is doing are acceptable. Why are you still hanging around him?
He may be doing this because he has issues about your male friend but that doesn't make it all right. It just means he's childish and can't actually string a... (read in full...)
LDR--do I give up so much to be with her?
Q. Hi I'm 34 years old, and am in a distance relationship with someone I love. She is 31. We have been together just around a year. She lives in eastern Europe, me in the UK. We are close and notwithstanding the cost, I spend every spare penny trav...
A. 4 February 2009: This is a tough one and one that many people face.
I think it really depends on what you want out of life.
Careers are so important. They will be there always and as you say, you have done very well climbing the ladder here and you won't get as... (read in full...)
1st time sex and he had a glow on his face
Q. I am just wondering what is that "glow" on my boyfriends face when we had sex for the first time? I'm not sure if you understand what I mean, but I'm just curious what that means, his face just seemed bright and glowing....
A. 4 February 2009: He had sex and is OFF HIS FACE on good feelings.
This is because Men LIKE having sex. It gives them happy feelings.
Would you prefer it if he looked miserable and abused after sex?
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't initiate sex easily
Q. Dear Sir My wife does not initiate sex so easily. At times when i ask for it, she says you perform coitus if you wish. After my orgasm, in this case she is not co operating, after withdrawing my penis i would see white stuff all over my penis. ...
A. 4 February 2009: You should NEVER have sex with a woman if she does not want it. This is rape.
A woman can lubricate herself without being turned on or enjoying it.
You can cause damage if you have sex with her without lubrication so the body responds to prot... (read in full...)
He would never last more than 2 minutes!
Q. Does this seem odd? I was with my ex boyfriend for 2yrs and in all that time when we had sex he never lasted more than 2 minutes! Hes only 30. But before i met him he had slept with nearly 100! We never talked bout our sex life i just accepted it. ...
A. 4 February 2009: If he's having that many one night stands then it's probably because no girl will have him more than once.
Also if he's so horrible that he made you go on anti-depressants then you stayed with him far too long. Some guys are bastards. As soon as ... (read in full...)
He's in the army--how often will he be able to contact me?
Q. my man has just gone back to germany hes in the army..iraq next month. wondering , he said he'll have msn and yeah it will be hectic but how often will he be able 2 contact me i know alot of u are related or with sum1 in the army so it'd hel...
A. 4 February 2009: Sounds like he just wants some one to chat to and flirt with.
If you want more than that then you may have to look elsewhere.
To be fair if he is going to Afghan then he may not want a relationship to worry about as well as being shot at an... (read in full...)
Is she taking revenge for me shouting at her?
Q. Dear Sir I am married to my wife for the last 10 years. We had some fight now and then and i have two kids/. At night i see that when i am turned to other side and snoring[which she uses as signals] she moves her folded legs with thighs attached ...
A. 4 February 2009: She is TURNED ON.
This does not means she has been masturbting, it means that you - her gorgeous lovely husband - is lying there looking beautiful and asleep and powerful. If a girl loves you they will get turned on by you being there sometime... (read in full...)
Am I right to be jealous about her male best friend?
Q. Before me and my girlfriend got together, she had a "bestfriend" who is a male. While I was still courting her, she told me that although she and that guy were "bestfriends" both knew that they loved each other but just don't have the guts to go ...
A. 4 February 2009: For her to tell you that she is in love with him and wants to have sex with him is enough to make anyone jealous.
I would have stopped dating her then and there.
BUT she is making effort, she is your girlfriend and she has cut contact with the... (read in full...)
I just feel like my husband just harasses me for sex.
Q. Hi! Me and my husband recently got married last year, and sometimes I just really don't want him touching me. Sometimes I feel like he is harassing me for sex. If I say no I don't want to have sex, I have to have a big long, keep you up all nite ...
A. 4 February 2009: Why did you marry this guy? Surely you are old enough to realise that you can get over feelings so if he had a very high sex drive and you didn't AND he couldn't have kids and you wanted them..... he was not the guy for you.
I really think th... (read in full...)
Does this guy like me or am I just creating false hope for myself?
Q. Hi, I would really like some advice about a guy I really like at the moment. All the body language signs that a guy shows when he likes a girl are there ie body position, feet pointing at me, fidgeting and, grooming. Anytime I'm near him he changes ...
A. 4 February 2009: He may like you but not want to be with you for some reason... OR he may just be shy.
Why don't you ask him out?
It's 2009 and we girls are allowed to do that now.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
How can you find out if your man is being honest with you?
Q. How do you find out if your man is being honest with you about things like is he still getting high? Has he gotten high since we've been together?...
A. 4 February 2009: Get him drug tested.
They can test hair and tell you everything he has taken in the last few years.
That's how they test in the army.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Marriage dilemmas and a friend who doesn't know how to trust...
Q. hey everyone! i have a question to ask: ok. lets say X and Y are a girl and a guy. and they are together. Y has no plans of giving up his bachelor life. that is what he tells his family (who he is very close to). he says he has no plans of marry...
A. 4 February 2009: Well what has the girl got to make her think they are going to get married and live happily ever after?
If he has not got down on one knee with a ring recently, then it means they are not getting married.
You need to get him and her to have ... (read in full...)
My husband is mentally abusive and I just don't know what to do anymore!
Q. I have been on here before looking for advise about my mentally abusive husband. I will not list all of the horrific details again, even if I had the strenght to go through it one more time, I just don't have the will. This has been going on for ...
A. 4 February 2009: You must have some relative, friend. or someone you could go to with some kind of spare room. It doesn't matter if they are far away, sell your jewellery if you have to.
Get the kids, get on a bus / train / plane and go.
You cannot stay wher... (read in full...)
Why did he go MIA?
Q. So this guy and I have been hooking up for about 4 months, i guess you'd say we were sex buddies. Well I began liking him and I am pretty sure he liked me because he'd always say he liked me and one night we were cuddling and he said "lets play a ...
A. 4 February 2009: Maybe he met a girl he liked so he decided to cut ties with you?
Friends with Benefits relationships only EVER work if that is what you are: FRIENDS.
You weren't his friend, you were just a girl he was sleeping with.
If you like someone t... (read in full...)
My b/f is ignoring me, calling me clingy & needy!
Q. iv been dateing my bf for about a month now and today i go up to hm cuz he hasent talked to me for a week he hasnt called or texted m worred he dont love me any more today i went up to him he ignored me then when i asked him what wrong hes just ...
A. 4 February 2009: Dump him.
To be honest it sounds like he has dumped you but hasn't got the balls to actually say this to your face.
He sounds like a little boy and looking at your age this is probably because he IS a little boy.
Wait till you are a b... (read in full...)
Should I accept my male friend (I'm bi) or live a lie with my fiancee?
Q. I am a 26 year old bi male, who has been in love with one of my male friends for 5 years. I was going to tell him a few times but I always thought he was straight. He has now told me that he fancies me and wants us to be together. I would have ...
A. 4 February 2009: She loves you so at the moment is upset and will be thinking that a life of misery with you is better than the pain she is feeling without you.
You must be strong, the pain she is currently feeling is horrible but will go away and then she will... (read in full...)
Why does this bother me so much?
Q. Im confused....why has this affected me so much? Basically, a man I slept with a couple of years back I have just found out that him and his gf of a year are expecting a baby. Instead of being happy for them, Im wishing it wasnt true and I havnt ...
A. 3 February 2009: You obviously don't have a lot going on in your life at the moment in terms of big drama, so his is making you realise that.
Rather than letting this feeling affect you in a negative way (deleting on facebook etc, which is just a bit childish... (read in full...)
Why is there so much pressure for virgins to give in?
Q. i've come across alot of teen girls on here who say they are virgins and are not ready for sex, yet they want to do it just to please the guy. please tell me why girls feel so pressured into having sex when they don't want to. why do SOME guys not ...
A. 3 February 2009: Because they are obviously not as strong as you were.
Lots of girls are NOT having sex and have very happy balanced lives, it's just that they don't come to Dearcupid.org to tell us about it. Only people with problems come here so you can't ta... (read in full...)
Should I mail his wife and let her know the affair is over?
Q. I had an emotional affair with a married man. His wife found out and wants a second chance to work on their marriage.He agreed,but I do not think he is putting a lot of effort into it because when I speak to him he always tells me that he loves ...
A. 3 February 2009: You want to say it's over but it clearly isn't. You are still talking, meeting up, kissing - that is NOT over. This married man is still having an affair with you.
End it for good and cut contact. Don't send him a long email, just call him now,... (read in full...)
I don't want a life of emotional abuse! But how do I leave him?
Q. I don't know what to do about my boyfriend. We've been together well over a year, but in the last 4 months things are different. I have written here before about how he started changing and is almost kindof emotionally abusive (name calling), and ...
A. 3 February 2009: You are scared of being alone as you are so used to having him around. You've been more scared of being alone that you have been miserable with him.
But let me tell you, once you are rid of this guy you will feel SO MUCH happier, it will feel lik... (read in full...)
Why does our country (UK) come to a standstill when it snows when other countries manage to keep going with transport etc?
Q. Why can't the UK get it's self together and provide snow ploughs and more gritting lorries when it snows, instead of just giving a weather warning out and having drivers crash? Why does the country have to come to a standstill? They want us to use ...
A. 3 February 2009: Just for the record I do drive from my home in rural Norfolk, for about 50 miles to work. I know the horror of ice snow tractors and old men in small cars.
As I said, get onto your council to complain, not me, I'm in as much crap as you on the r... (read in full...)
Why does our country (UK) come to a standstill when it snows when other countries manage to keep going with transport etc?
Q. Why can't the UK get it's self together and provide snow ploughs and more gritting lorries when it snows, instead of just giving a weather warning out and having drivers crash? Why does the country have to come to a standstill? They want us to use ...
A. 3 February 2009: Well get on to your local council's transport department and complain!
It's no good moaning on the internet, that is what all the journalists do. If you want to get some answers talk to the people in charge and ask them what is going on. Get on t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps pushing for sex and I don't feel ready!
Q. My boyfriend keeps pushing the issue on 'Sex' And I'm not ready. He tries and tries again, but his efforts are useless. We've gone as far as very passionate kissing and touching, rubbing that kinda thing. I'm not a tease but he initiates all this ...
A. 3 February 2009: It seems he is not willing to wait for you.
This to me says he doesn't respect your feelings and simply thinks you are wrong in wanting to wait.
Tell him that you are not going to have sex with him for SOME TIME to come and if he doesn't want ... (read in full...)
Why does our country (UK) come to a standstill when it snows when other countries manage to keep going with transport etc?
Q. Why can't the UK get it's self together and provide snow ploughs and more gritting lorries when it snows, instead of just giving a weather warning out and having drivers crash? Why does the country have to come to a standstill? They want us to use ...
A. 3 February 2009: Go and read the Daily Mail, they will join you in your calls for snow to be banned.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I'm seriously considering getting a hysterectomy...
Q. I have a question that may offend some people, for which I'm sorry, I just feel like I can't ask anyone I know, because they'll judge me. I'm a 16 year old female, and started my periods when I was 12. Every month, I get such extreme stomach ...
A. 3 February 2009: Oh hun you must be in some pain for this to be your end thought.
But I get really bad headaches yet I have never considered having my head removed.
You can go on the pill or the injection and your periods will stop or at least improved. My fri... (read in full...)
Pregnant and not feeling ANY effort on his part, help!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together about 2 years (in May). I am 4 1/2 months pregnant with his child. For the first part of our relationship he was an abusive alcoholic (up until he became sober 4 months ago). 3 times he destroyed my home, he ...
A. 3 February 2009: Oooooh so he hasn't hit you, just made you feel like crap.
That makes it all ok.
I don't think Lazyguy went too far.
I think there are far too many examples of kids being brought up with horrible abusive fathers and mothers who don't leave ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and not feeling ANY effort on his part, help!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together about 2 years (in May). I am 4 1/2 months pregnant with his child. For the first part of our relationship he was an abusive alcoholic (up until he became sober 4 months ago). 3 times he destroyed my home, he ...
A. 3 February 2009: Wow you picked a great guy!
You say that when you met him he was an abusive alcoholic who treated you like absolute crap and you took it because you knew he was better deep down...
Just out of interest, how did you know he'd be better when he w... (read in full...)
What should I do for Valentine's Day?
Q. Valentine's day is nearing and i'm worried.. very worried. This'll be the first valentine's I've not been alone. Valentine's a day before mine and my girlfriend's 3 month 'anniversery'... which makes me feel yet more under pressure. I was thinking ...
A. 3 February 2009: Take her out to a posh restaurant. Somewhere she has never been. Buy her a rose and wear a suit or something really smart.
At your age, your girlfriend will be really impressed at being treated like a real lady so pull out all the stops, hold the... (read in full...)
I have got accepted for a job nearer him but he's going to join the army....will I always be wondering 'what if'?
Q. Theres a man Ive liked for over 4 years now (I got talking to him more after I'd split up with my ex)and we became really flirty and really good friends wieh eachother (over the internet). Last year, we finally met up with eachother (3 times, he ...
A. 3 February 2009: It's really sad that you've met someone and you got so close to them but can't be with them.
But my advice is to try and start getting over him now.
Stop being online as much and arrange a big girly night out with your mates. Look around at a... (read in full...)
Are his questions healthy?
Q. Is it healthy for a boyfriend to ask his girlfriend about her past in such details so as to know (for example) how large another man was, how he made her reach orgasm, how strong the orgasms were with other men, or how long they would go down on her ...
A. 3 February 2009: It could be curiosity, it could just be his little fetish to imagine you with other guys, or it could be jealousy and obsessive behaviour.
You don't say how he reacts when you tell him / refuse to talk about it.
You will be able to tell a l... (read in full...)
Am I destined to be fat forever?
Q. I need to, and I have decided I am going to try. I feel like a fat hog, and it's gotten to the point where I'm sick of looking in the mirror. To tell the truth, I am so scared, though. I've read about, and been told, that there are some people ...
A. 3 February 2009: The chances of you being one of the very very small number of people with some kind of glandular disease or genetic disorder that forces the body to put every calorie into fat are minute.
The chances of you just having a slightly stretche... (read in full...)
Why do gay men like to talk about sex in public? Is this in fact true?
Q. Why do gay men make point of talking about sex in public like in a graphic way . I don't know of any of my straight friends that need to fulfill such a urge. Are they just exhibitional, is this part of being gay? I find it kind of degrades them an...
A. 3 February 2009: Up until 40 years ago it was illegal for them to even admit to being gay. Even now, if you just read some of the questions on here, many people say that their lives will be over if they tell people they are gay.
Most people who are militant... (read in full...)
Should I accept my male friend (I'm bi) or live a lie with my fiancee?
Q. I am a 26 year old bi male, who has been in love with one of my male friends for 5 years. I was going to tell him a few times but I always thought he was straight. He has now told me that he fancies me and wants us to be together. I would have ...
A. 2 February 2009: If you are not in love with her then you have to call it off with your girlfriend. You seem to be trying to use her to get over him, and it will not work.
She's been through a lot so why would you put her into a loveless situation where she will... (read in full...)
He's in the army--how often will he be able to contact me?
Q. my man has just gone back to germany hes in the army..iraq next month. wondering , he said he'll have msn and yeah it will be hectic but how often will he be able 2 contact me i know alot of u are related or with sum1 in the army so it'd hel...
A. 1 February 2009: If he's far forward then he may not get to speak to you very much. If he's at the back then he'll probably still get his 30 mins a week.
Just write him lots of blueys.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
He's in the army--how often will he be able to contact me?
Q. my man has just gone back to germany hes in the army..iraq next month. wondering , he said he'll have msn and yeah it will be hectic but how often will he be able 2 contact me i know alot of u are related or with sum1 in the army so it'd hel...
A. 1 February 2009: The COB in Basra has brilliant facilities. He'll get 30 mins phone time every week but he can buy more phone cards. He'll have internet access when ever he gets time to get to the computers.
They are pulling out and you don't say what his job is b... (read in full...)
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