A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently broke it off with a married man whom i was seeing for 7 years and we have a 5 yo child. Since now, he can't stand me, he lies to his wife and family saying I'm calling his phone and playing with it up, telling me need to get a man. He trys to compete with whatever I do for our daughter. If i buy shoes he buys shoes. He lied to me when my daughter told me his wife threw a pot at him. He told me if she did they were just playing. He tries to make it seem like he's happy with her now when he told me he's not happy but before, if his wife would have left him it would have been me. hahaha So what makes a man tell you that he loves you for 7 years and you break it off, he can't stand you and can't stand to look at me?
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female
reader, Trying4Me +, writes (15 February 2009):
All that really matters is you took control of the situation..i find it odd how so many people have opinions on what's right and wrong vs just giving a bit of helpful advise. You did what was best for you and i agree with the others only in the way of him being mad he was no loger in control of the situation...in his eyes he was able to dictate to you where and when your love would be givin and taken away not you...kudos on stepping up for yourself. Loving someone is not a crime and like alot of people wether he was married or single i'm sure he made you feel that loving him was right for whatever reason..he was at the church and promised to love, honor and obey his wife not you..all your responsible for is your hurt because you knew what you were getting in to and it seems that same hurt allowed you to know you deserve more in life..he is his wifes problem and it seems a hell of a problem at that..be lucky you can move on with your life..let's say it's true he felt he lost nothing when you kicked his ass to the curb..he loves no one not even his selfnot even his wife or else he would have never stepped out..this man cannot even kidnap a clue on what love truly is so he's mad at his loser status and putting you down gets him instant gratification and the attention he deserves..what a catch he is...keep your head up and never allow him to cause disruptions it's your life and he has no rights disturbing your peace...he's full of hell
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (14 February 2009):
 In reality this is a rotten situation. You both were playing a deceitful game based on poor choices. It's difficult for anyone to rationalize such behaviour.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): Because he's a spoiled child. Because up until now, he figured he had you under his control and thought you were so dick-whipped on him you'd put up with any BS like playing second best, and the fact that you've actually done the right thing for YOU and you're a living, breathing human being that contrary to his beliefs ddoes not exist solely for his amusement and pleasure until he was ready to discard you, well... that's just the slave getting uppity, in his mind. So, yeah, his reaction makes sense.
Don't you know (in his mind anyway) that HE's the one whose supposed to call the shots? He's supposed to have over control of you and his wife, how dare you (again, his twisted logic) stand up for yourself and leave him, thus demanding to be treated like a person and not a sex toy. So, he's being a child and throwing a tantrum, basically, figuring he can punish you, make you jealous and generally act an ass.
Just ignore the behavior like one does when a child starts acting out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): WOW! Is all I can say. But, I have a comment about the situataion. (1) If he never left his wife for you that meant the relationship wasn't going no further then the bedroom (2) I feel so sorry for your daughter and hopefully his wife will accept your daughter because each time she looks and her she is looking at her husband affair. (3) Just from your comments you want him back but maybe he has come to his senses. The reason I am saying this is my husband cheated on me thank GOD no children came out of that but mark my words once you find that man that you love so much and you feel happy in your marriage some woman will come and cheat with him WHAT GOES AROUND COME AROUND!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (14 February 2009):
You broke it off!
He's shocked and this is what he's thinking:
How could you do that to him? Don't you realise how wonderful and perfect he is? How could you not be happy being second best to his wife all the time and being treated badly?
You were supposed to know your place and be his mistress, his bit of fun on the side. The fact that you have now taken control of the situation is terrifying him so he is trying to put you down and get you back in your little box where you behave and do what he tells you.
Don't react to his childishness and just carry on raising your daughter. Ignore anything that does not have to do with your child.
You have done the right thing in dumping him and you sound like a strong woman so move on and remember you don't need him.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): So what makes a married man who tells you he loves you for 7 years, and then when you break it off and he can't stand the sight of you??--A new girlfriend!!
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A
female
reader, Plexi +, writes (14 February 2009):
 He wanted to keep you around until he was done with you. now he is trying to push you out by lying and competing with you. he obviously feels a responsibility to his daughter but he wants you out. you were there while he needed you now he doesnt and wants you to disappear. maybe he wasnt happy with his wife then(which is why he needed you) but now he is(which is why he doesnt need you and wants you out)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): Are you the same young woman who wrote us a couple weeks ago about the married man you'd been seeing for seven years and thinking of breaking it off?
Sounds as if he's teed off (and that's putting it very mildy!) because you ended it, and is indulging in unbelievably petty behavior and lies to "punish" you.
I really am at a loss as to what to tell you, except to say to stand your ground. YOU know he's lying. Insofar as is possible (difficult with a small daughter) try to distance yourself from him as much as you can, and make it clear that you DO NOT want to hear all his nonsense.
You know you did the right thing in ending it and in time, giving yourself a chance to maybe meet someone who is free to love you as you deserve.......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): Sweety...you dropped him. So what do you expect from this guy? There is nothing weird about his behavior. He always had his wife at home, waiting for him. He was probably hurt at first but likely now feels like he hasn't lost anything. He 's simply detached from you, and he still sees his daughter so he simply went back to his life and marriage and the way things were before you came into his life. Please ensure he remains financially and emotionally responsible for the child you had with him and it's time...for you to move on with your life.
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