A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Its been 6 months and my boyfriend still hasn't told me he loves me. Being valentines day I thought that it might happen today but its 5 pm here and still nothing. Im getting sick of not knowing if im important to him or not. Dont get me wrong he is kind, considerate and loving but im starting to wonder.....also we met on a dating site 6 monts ago, i deleted my profile and his is still up though he hasn't looked at it in 6 months since we met.he also takes his phone everywhere with him even to the TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!1I dont know if im being paranoid, we are together EVERY weekend so if he is cheating he must be doing it wednsdays and mondays.This is driving me crazy because i DONT want to be with a person who doesen't know if he loves me or not after 6 whole months. I need someone to feel more passion for me that THAT.Should I dump him. Its valentines day but im tempted to ring him RIGHT NOW! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (19 February 2009):
 Look most guys will fall for you within a few weeks itsbjustbthatvtheu don't tell you so soon. It's very similarvto when a guy chases a girl to be his gf the girl often gives mixed signals without realizing what's happening.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): i'm male and i got a boyfriend that i have been with since beginning of december... and he told me wen he was drunk that he dosen't love me... and its hit me quiet hard ...its still affecting me now,... i dont no if to dump him or not? wat do u reckon.,,, its like i love him but he dont love me so theres nothing in return.... and also we decided in march or april we gonna move in together but he also told me he thought that was a joke that was when he was drunk again the same night .... i really dont no i'm confused.com at the moment please help if u can? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (14 February 2009):
 Most men take more time than 6 months before they know how they feel about a woman, and even longer to actually say those three little words. And while they make up their mind, they tend to keep their options open. If you want this man, you will have to be patient and hold on "loosely" as the song says. And yes, it's possible that he does see another woman during the week. She may even be a co-worker, but you won't know this until you spend more time with him during the week. Until he's ready I wouldn't expect many fireworks.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (14 February 2009):
 Whooooah less haste! I'm wondering if you're just a tad paranoid? He hasn't visited the dating site since he met you, so it sounds like he's just forgotten about it (good sign) and you say he is a great guy (another good sign) apart from the fact he hasn't told you he loves you. Not everyone is good at being vocal. I would be more concerned if a guy said he loved me all the time, but behaved like a right bozo.
And 6 months isn't all that long? Not in the grand scheme of things. I am pretty crud at telling someone I love them, so ive been told in the past. But it doesn't mean I dont love someone. But thankfully they knew I loved them,and it was never a problem, for similar reasons as you said about your guy.
If you consider yourselves a close couple, then you should be able to ask him if he actually loves you. If you're not a close couple, then thats a different story?
C xxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, Tomas  +, writes (14 February 2009):
It sounds like this relationship is teaching you what you really want. I think it is important for you to be clear with yourself and him about what that is.Not "I want him to love me"... you obviously cannot control how someone else feels. But you do want to be in a relationship that has passion, and is making steady progress towards love.If after 6 months he doesn't feel like (or say) he loves you, then you are questioning whether this is the relationship you want. And if it isn't, then even if it is fun, it is keeping you from finding the relationship you want.And eventually (already?) it will cease to be fun. You've built up frustration from feeling like this relationship is wasting your time. Not communicating what you need (even if to you it should be obvious) is generally damaging to relationships.Tell him what you are feeling, and what you need.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): 6 months to say he loves you...i hadn't realised there was a time limit - now know why i got into so much trouble! But this isn't about those words really, its about security i think. you need to know where you stand with him and where you are going. You have several options:
Ignore and hope it gets better - because he doesn't say "he loves you" say doesn't mean he doesn't just that he doesn't say it. However, you are concerned and need to feel you are going somewhere with him so that will mean its difficult for you.
Confront him; ask him if he loves you (you could scratch his car first that way you have a diversion) and where does he think the two you are going - but be wary you could get the answer you don't want. (in which case well done on the car :))
all or nothing answer:
State your position say that you love him, but you don't want to waste your love if he doesn't love you back. Say that you need a definitive statement and if its not positive then you should start to move apart. Of course if its positive then you will be in bliss.
My view - don't mess around. As the song says Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts and don't let them be with yours.
Hugs OS.X.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (14 February 2009):
6 months is a while....
Don't do it right now as you are obviously a bit angry at this moment.
But I agree, if it's not going anywhere and he appears to be keeping his options open then it's not worth staying around. You don't want to waste your time with Mr Wrong if you are looking for Mr Right.
Give him one more chance, next time you are together and being a bit romantic, ask him how he feels about you, ask him where he sees himself in 5 years time. if his answers are not good or he tries to get out of it then tell him that you are not looking for someone just to have fun with but want actual Love, and then end it nicely.
Just one of those things.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (14 February 2009):
Id be inclined to aske him what valentines day means and what he thinks of it, remind him you've been together for over six months and then see if he can say it.
If he can't say it does he at least show it with some sort of signs like holding your hand or giving you some kind of eyecontact when you are in a romantic situationm do you watch romantic films??? this are some good ways to know.
yeah but i do agree that after SIX months that if he can't say he love you then there is only somthing else on his mind and if he really did love you then it wouldnt be a problem to say it right?
Good luck with it.
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A
male
reader, hynrockstar2 +, writes (14 February 2009):
Hahaha he is probly affraid to tell you he loves you because hes scared u wont feel the same way and get scared away. I take my phone to the toilet too sometimes, but thats because people are constantly calling me. it doesnt mean im hiding anything. If u are paranoid, and u really want to know, try checking his phone when hes not around. i know it sounds sneeky, but if u need peace of mind, that mite help. as for the dating site. tell him he should delete it cuz he doesnt need it n e more. if he doesnt want to, hes still looking. believe me!!!!
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