A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 23 year old male in Minnesota and I met this wonderful lady on IM the about a month ago. Immediately, I felt a strong connection with her. She is in Florida. We chat everyday for around four hours at a time and we have fun with each other over webcam. We talked about meeting each other so I set up a trip to go see her in the near future. She is excited about the trip. I told her that I care for her very much and that I would like to be her man. She isn't looking for a relationship but says that 'we will see what happens'. She calls me all the lovey dovey nicknames and treats me like we have been going out for a year or more. I am in love with this girl and am thinking about moving to Florida to be near her to have a shot at being with her all the time.My question is: Should I be putting so much stock in her? I am in madly in love with her. How should I handle this situation? When is it trying too hard?Please help!
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (14 February 2009):
I think it's great that you have found someone you can click with... but please just be a little bit careful with your self and your heart.
She is being none committal and she is doing the smart thing. There was a question on here the other day from a girl who'd found her "perfect guy" online and been chatting for about a year before they met up... and then they met up and she felt NOTHING more than friendship for him.
The same thing could well happen to either of you. Online chatting is great but you don't show her your bad days, your tempers, your bad habits, your love of garlic for lunch. She doesn't show you her irritating laugh, her obsession with cats, or the fact she will force you to go veggie and get up at 4am for yoga.
Obviously I'm making this stuff up and exagerating but you get the idea.
Go and meet her and spend some time with her and I truly hope that you get on well and date long distance for a while and then a good job comes up down there for you and you get married and have a million kids and cats and dogs and live happily every after.
BUT,
Just don't go getting your hopes up too much. Go with an open mind, and don't put too much pressure on the meeting. Treat it like a first date and don't plan on having sex for a little while to show her that you want it to mean something.
Be aware that it may well not be as wonderful as you imagined and you may come away with a great friend, but nothing more.
Good Luck!! xx
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