A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am seeing a married man and I am in love with him. He is love with me but cant leave his wife right now because of his business and financial resonsibilities. Hes afraid if he gets a divorce she will try to take his business, and destroy him financially. Should I not see him anymore or be there for him for support?
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female
reader, Vanna +, writes (17 February 2009):
Girl i was in similar situation. Only he didn't have the business and he wasn't with his wife. He was with me everyday. I wanted him to get a divorced even offer to pay for it. Then i thought i'm not going to pay for your divorce. Then one day we were talking and he stated he would never divorce his wife. When i heard him say that i looked at myself and life and stop seeing him. It was hard but i did it. Now i look back knowing i made the right decision. I ask God to forgive me. Now i can't even remember the relationship we had that due to it being soley about lust and not love or who i was suppose to be with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): Sorry to be brutal, but you are just the other woman hunney,the ego boooster, excuses excuses excuses that is all you will get, let downs lies, used and in the end he will always go back to his wife. I have been there and got a lot of help and reallity checks on this site that made me wake up and spell the coffee. If you wan't the classic tale of hurt betrayel and lies,go to the story and lady that helped me wake up and see what lies are out there. Read Mae5 "My paramour used me for sex" September 18th. This made me relise that I was in the same boat and stopped it before I got hurt even more than I did and used as she did. I hope this and her story helps you. Jen.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (14 February 2009):
 Depends if you are ok with being 'the other woman'? If he cant leave her for various reasons, it could be a while before he does.
Some people do the mistress very well. But thats usually for other reasons. Doesn't sound like you will be able to settle for that? If you're ultimately looking for Mr right to settle down, doesn't sound like this is your man hun.
C xxxxxx
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (14 February 2009):
 He is a cheater and you are an accomplice. Neither role is very admirable. Don't leave him because of his indecision, leave him because you are both caught up in a web of deceit. He's told you why he will not leave his wife. Contrary to what other aunts say, you are solely responsible for your situation. Just because you want something, that doesn't mean you should have it.Let me explain. I know this is an desire of the heart which complicates things but please understand my analogy....You want something that does not belong to you. That is unfortunate. I want my friends money. That's too bad for me. I'm certainly not going to steal it. Why not? Because, it's wrong. I could argue that I work harder than him and earn less. It might be true but that doesn't make my decision to steal his cash valid. I need to change the situation from another angle. I need to find a better solution.You should find a way of making yourself happy that does not include making someone else miserable, meaning his wife and family. If you continue to follow the path of destruction that affairs bring, you may get what you deserve.Remember, what you want at this moment belongs to someone else, not you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): Don't be fooled. If he wanted to be with you he would. What makes you think you are any different or better than his wife? Imagine the sacrifices she must have made in her marriage and here you are talking about him not being able to leave because she will ruin him.
What is wrong with you. HE IS MARRIED!!
Leave the woman's husband alone. It is pathetic what both of you are doing! You even more so cause you have stooped very low in sleeping with another woman's husband.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): I've been the 'other woman' and it is hideous. You get the crumbs when the wife gets the main meal. Don't do it to yourself as its a sign of little self esteem and respect. He has been honest with you - his finances and business come first. Fair enough. Is this good enough for you? It won't be. Cut your losses now and get out of it. Find a man that returns your calls, can send text messages while their at home, is able to plan dinner dates in public with you and wants a future.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): Look, I'm married. At times it gets tough, but I'm in this thing for life... like I said I'd be. He's never going to leave his wife and who's to say you might not be his ONLY gf, after all, why stop with just one?But most important, if he cheats on his WIFE, what makes you think he won't cheat on you?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (14 February 2009):
Well he's made it clear that he likes his cushy lifestyle and his money more than you.
If he was REALLY unhappy and REALLY loved you then he would be willing to go down a step and start his business again somewhere fresh.
He still has the contacts and the know how. It wouldn't be that hard.
There is an old saying that married men NEVER leave their wives. It's far more in their interest to keep the nice house, the nice car, the business, and the nice wife and nice family... and then have you as a little extra on the side.
I really think if you stay with him you will never be happy. I mean, where is he spending Valentines? I bet he's with his wife for today, birthdays, Christmas, and every other occasion while you will be alone.
Be strong and think of yourself here. Split up with him and move on. It'll be hard but worth it when you find a man who actually loves you enough to put you first.
He's thinking of himself and his lifestyle. Why shouldn't you?
Good Luck!! xx
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