A Fickle Ex BF. How Do You Fix A Fickle Person?
Q. I just realized that my ex and I broke up cos he's fickle. He claims he just wasn't feeling it anymore. But he seemed happy daily, contacted me daily and even when given the opportunity to be alone or hang w/ friends - he'd wanna see me. He made up ...
A. 21 July 2009: He'll stop being fickle when the option of messing you about is taken away.
If you say that you do not want to be with someone who is going to blow hot and cold and make excuses and cut contact then he MIGHT figure out what an idiot he is being an... (read in full...)
Broke up, trying to stay friends but I'm unsure how to proceed
Q. Hi All - i have recently split from my girlfriend (3 weeks ago) and for those 3 weeks we have been going through the angry, bitter stage as you do - i have been pretty gutted about it all and she seems the opposite however sunday night we we're both ...
A. 21 July 2009: Sounds like she was just letting the drink get to her to be honest.
She's still going to have some feelings for you. You don't stop having them overnight and you two have hardly given each other any space to try and imagine life as a single p... (read in full...)
We have been getting on so well but now his ex is back in the picture!
Q. Hi. About 3 or 4 weeks ago I started seeing a guy, who we shall call michael. It was very much him pursuing me and took me out on 3 dates, with a 4th planned for this week. We aren't going out yet but it was certainly going that way. He is a really ...
A. 21 July 2009: There is not a lot you can do here.
If you just carry on as you are then he won't feel pressured and he'll hopefully be able to get his head straight.
Keep strong and keep an open mind.
Try and guard your feelings a little bit because you d... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell whether I will bleed the first time I have sex?
Q. okay... i masturbate quite alot. but i guess its just something us girls dont admit to lol! anyway ive been with this guy now for a little under 7 months, and im not stupid i know sex will happen pretty soon! but we've not rushed anything.. my que...
A. 21 July 2009: Sweetie, if you haven't even done fingering with him yet then you can't be planning to have sex.
You need to do lots and lots of bits of foreplay. Work up to sex over the next few months. Don't do it all new all in one go or it will be horrible... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex's new girlfriend that he cheated on me?
Q. My boyfriend dumped me by email over the Easter bank holiday, after an on/off relationship that spanned 26 years, telling me he had moved to Italy with his friend, which I knew was a lie because he had been phoning supposedly from Italian hotels ...
A. 21 July 2009: Well you can if you like, but be prepared for her to call you all kinds of names and think you are a psychotic ex girlfriend type.
If you are going to do it then do it fast and once, then leave him alone.
As for justice, you just have to lea... (read in full...)
Why do I have constant nightmares?
Q. I'm a thirteen year old guy and I'm starting to get scared because I never have dreams I only have nightmares I usually have a really long nightmare every night and I'm starting to get scared can anyone tell me why I am having constant nightmares??...
A. 21 July 2009: It keeps happening because the issues are still there in your head.
You need to sort it out while you are awake and then your brain won't worry about it while you are asleep.
Go and talk to your mates or someone about it and get it out of yo... (read in full...)
How can I stop my boyfriend taking things too far?
Q. I am 13 and have a boy friend who is 15 ..... we have been together for 5 months and i really trust him .. a couple of nights ago we were kissing on the sofa and then he put his hands down the front of my pants ... i said not yet and he stopped ... ...
A. 20 July 2009: He's always going to give things a try. It's in every teenage boy's nature to try and push his luck a bit.
So you need to talk to him and just be honest. Tell him you really really like him but you aren't ready for that kind of thing yet.
... (read in full...)
Why do I have constant nightmares?
Q. I'm a thirteen year old guy and I'm starting to get scared because I never have dreams I only have nightmares I usually have a really long nightmare every night and I'm starting to get scared can anyone tell me why I am having constant nightmares??...
A. 20 July 2009: Sounds like you are just scared of losing your friend.
Or you have talked of joining the army and keep seeing all those flag draped coffins on the news.
If either of you have talked about joining the army then it'll be fine to talk to him abou... (read in full...)
Why do I have constant nightmares?
Q. I'm a thirteen year old guy and I'm starting to get scared because I never have dreams I only have nightmares I usually have a really long nightmare every night and I'm starting to get scared can anyone tell me why I am having constant nightmares??...
A. 20 July 2009: Well the nightmares will tell you about what you are scared of.
I'm not saying to believe all those stupid self help books about "if you dream of cheese it means you will see a Zebra next week."
But if the dreams are all on a theme then that ... (read in full...)
My dream of being a model is shattered and I'm depressed!
Q. ive just turned 26 and feel like im in a rut. I work at a hospital in administration and the job is well paid but very mundane although it has a lot of reponsibilities and is quite a respectful job. My dream though is to be a model. I have tried to ...
A. 14 July 2009: Remember that models are not pretty girls. They are picked because they are very bland looking. That way they can be used as blank canvasses for all the slap and photoshopping.
Also at 26 you are a bit old as they like to have 15 year olds tha... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to be with me 24/7..is that ok?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 6 months now, he lives with his older brother while I live at home with my parents. He is really good when it comes to calling me everyday to tell me what he's doing. He tells me that he loves me but that he also ...
A. 11 July 2009: Why don't you want to spend time with YOUR friends and family?
You may be obsessing over this guy and that is not healthy.
He can be a HUGE part of your life but he should never be ALL of it.
Go out with your mates, do something you enjoy o... (read in full...)
Do I get anything if he passes?
Q. Hello just need some advise, my husband have been married for 3 years now both have children from previous relationships, all the kids are living with our x's, we run a business which takes most of our time I work really hard 6 days a week just ...
A. 11 July 2009: If he's got a will saying it goes to his kids then it will go to his kids.
You need to talk to him and see what he wants to do for you, and what you want to do for him.
If you are worried then why not take out a life insurance policy for each ... (read in full...)
LDR and when I go to see him he spends all his time with his family!
Q. ok, I am in a long distance relationship (I am at university, and do my best to see my partner when I can). When I go back home to see him, he insists on spending most of his time with his family every weekend (I don't get invited). I find myself ...
A. 11 July 2009: I think he's being selfish.... or a bit of an idiot and not realising.
You should maybe just tell him you are not coming home if you are not going to get to see him.
Then ask him to plan a weekend where it will just be the 2 of you and book it ... (read in full...)
We made a promise to tell each other if anything happened, but I don't want to say anything!
Q. ...so i dated this guy for year and we have this plan that we're going to be together again [we broke up because i moved]. we said that while we're not together we're gonna have fun and all we're both in college and so we're going to have fun...
A. 11 July 2009: I think this whole telling each other rule is a bit silly to be honest.
All it will do is stop you having fun and make you feel hurt.
Tell him that you didn't like knowing about this other girl and that you feel like you will never be able to... (read in full...)
How to get my boyfriend to be more dominant in bed?
Q. i want to know how to get my boyfriend to be more dominant in bed. i get turned on knowing i am satisfying the guy, doing the positions he likes etc but my bf will not ever say. i ask do u wanna try a different position? and he just says if you do, ...
A. 11 July 2009: He's just trying to be nice.
Just talk to him and tell him that you don't ever feel like he wants you because he just tells you to do what ever you want rather than saying what he wants.
Tell him you just want to know that he wants you rather... (read in full...)
I gave them a test at the church and was escourted out and will not be allowed to come back!
Q. Before last sunday I had never been to church. My friend finally convinced me into going, but I am not big into religion and I don't like it when my friend pushes it on me. So anyway, we get to the church (it is methodist) and I overhea...
A. 11 July 2009: So you are blaming them for not believing some snotty teenager who was BLATANTLY taking the piss out of them? Did you honestly think they would fall at your feet and start crying?
You were being a dick and they all knew it.
One of the major the... (read in full...)
Its always about her and what she wants
Q. Hey all, I have a bit of a problem with my girlfriend of about 9 months. My problem is that I get the feeling that it's always about her and what she wants. To give an example, on Sundays, I go to church with her like she wants; and then I go out...
A. 11 July 2009: You've just got to start telling her that she should spend more time with her friends. Why can't she take them shopping?
Then you get a few hours to yourself / with your friends and she is happy.
You need to work out a less intensive routin... (read in full...)
Summer time FUN!
Q. This is just an observation, as I am not currently in a relationship of any sorts and haven't been for a long long while, can all the young women from ages 18 to 65, please stop dressing so provocatively. It's bad enough my hormones are in ...
A. 11 July 2009: You need to watch a show called Black Books.
Series 2, episode 2.
The main character Bernard also gets like this is summer and decides:
"I've got to get a girlfriend, just for the summer, until this wears off. She'll be a summery girl. She'l... (read in full...)
Have you cheated or been cheated on?
Q. I am just curious how frequently people cheat or get cheated on? By partners, fiances, spouses? And if you have cheated, why did you do it? Is cheating unavoidable in long term relationships? Do all partners get bored at some point?...
A. 11 July 2009: If you come to a site for people with love problems then you are going to find that nearly everyone has cheated or been cheated on.
This is like going to a site for car crash victims and asking what they think about driving skills and how common b... (read in full...)
I didn't want him to hurt himself so I'm going back out with him...but I'm so confused
Q. Okay So im like 15 i know a bit young but i really need advice. see ive been going out with this boy since the beginning of may, but ive liked his friend all the way through the time weve been dating, and well at first i really liked my boyfriend, i ...
A. 11 July 2009: What he did by cutting himself was emotional blackmail.
He did it knowing he would make you feel bad and FORCE you to do something you didn't want to do (go back out with him.) He did it to manipulate and control you. That is never a good thing.
... (read in full...)
What to do to contact the woman you had sex with?
Q. The next day after having sex with a woman that you totally like and are attracted to what is expected? Should the guy drop her a email or text, call her, or send her a card? What kind of things should be said? Thank you? I liked it? I want it ag...
A. 11 July 2009: Just drop her a text saying something simple, like "I can't stop thinking about you after last night. xx"
and then call her later in the day and tell her you had a great time and you hope she did too and when can you see her again?
I find ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loves his computer more than I
Q. my boyfriend seems to be more in love with his computer than me. this has only been a recent thing but im really getting angry and frustrated over it. when i try and make plans with him its like im bothering him and he cant even talk on the phone ...
A. 9 July 2009: He is very much pushing it.
Why do you keep chasing him?
If he is on his computer then leave him to it. Don't speak to him for a few days.
Either that or just email him a list of unlockable achievements.
50g - Left the House
100g - ... (read in full...)
Do I need to tell him I am bi or does this even matter?
Q. Ok I'm 20 yo and bi..no one knows not even my best friends So anyway I'm at the mall with a friend I work with and I see a guy who was around 18 and couldn't help but to stare at him He was wearing flip flops which was a plus lol..anyway I gu...
A. 9 July 2009: Well in that case then you have the option of either
a) getting in ahead of the game and coming out (if you are ready etc)
or
b) just letting them build up a rough idea for themselves and then confirm it. Only your close friends are going ... (read in full...)
Why wont my husband come to my meetings even though he is supportive?
Q. I have an amazing loving bf that I've been with for a year and a half. Recently I joined a new business that sells womens and a small line of mens weight loss garments. Like girdles. When were at home my bf gives me great ideas about advertising he ...
A. 9 July 2009: The only person who can answer this is him. Only he knows what he's scared of.
You may have to accept he has an issue and is willing to put that above you.
Whether you are willing to overlook this and move on, or whether you see this as a si... (read in full...)
How can I help my best friend?
Q. Ok my Best friend in the whole wide world i knew her since 2nd grade she is 2 months odlder than me and he is into drugs and sex she has pretty big boobs(double d) and that is why alot of the guys she dates (wich most of them are 17-20)like her and ...
A. 9 July 2009: Have you tried finding out WHY she wants to do all this?
Does she think this is the only way she can feel good about herself?
Is she doing this to avoid problems at home?
Most of the time when people act like this it's because she WANTS t... (read in full...)
Do I need to tell him I am bi or does this even matter?
Q. Ok I'm 20 yo and bi..no one knows not even my best friends So anyway I'm at the mall with a friend I work with and I see a guy who was around 18 and couldn't help but to stare at him He was wearing flip flops which was a plus lol..anyway I gu...
A. 9 July 2009: This says you are a girl.... so I don't get how someone seeing you checking out a boy would make you want to come out?
I wouldn't tell people you are bi till you are ready to date a girl.
Or if you think they'll all accept it and you don't mi... (read in full...)
How can I protect my baby sister from my step dad?
Q. My mum has just had a little baby girl she's only 6 months, im really worried about her future and safety. My step father used to touch my other younger sister (17) when she was only 5.He told her he would kill her if she told my mum. But she did...
A. 7 July 2009: Your mum is failing you and your sisters.
You are not safe where you are. You NEED to call social services or ask your sister whether she would be willing to go with you and report him to the police.
What he is doing is illegal and he would be ... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair with a guy who has stopped contacting me! Is he over me already? Or just confused?
Q. I have been married for 13 years and have 2 children. My husband has had terrible bouts with alcohol and just recently decided to go to AA. I feel he is really trying, but I hold years of resentment from the pain he has caused my family ...
A. 7 July 2009: He's probably feeling awful because he had sex with a married woman. That's not a great thing to have on your conscience.
Your husband may be awful, but if you are choosing to stay with him then you are choosing to be faithful. If that will mak... (read in full...)
We're both married, but I think there is an attraction between us. What to do...or not do?
Q. I am writing to ask your opinion about my friendship with a married man. I am married also, and over the last couple of years we have become quite friendly. We only see each other about once a week very briefly at school to say a few words, and we e...
A. 7 July 2009: If you think you can be a friend to this guy and nothing more then carry on and do just that.
But if you think you could have feelings for him, or he could have feelings for you then stop seeing him and stop emailing him so much.
Get out and m... (read in full...)
She's ignoring me over a misunderstanding, so should I keep trying or forget about her?
Q. My girlfriend recently broke up with me. It is kind of a long story so I won't get in to all of it but long story short she misubderstood something I said, took it as being a control freak said it brought up a red flag. She agreed to talk to me last ...
A. 7 July 2009: I disagree with the other 2 posters.
She obviously has had some issues with an ex and is now very wary of getting into a bad situation again.
Her ex probably was able to twist things to make it her fault, and so she may well not want to see ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about my weight?
Q. i have one question. i am 5"0 and i weigh about 79 my family and friends are worryed bout me but i don't make myself thow up i eat normaly i am a vegatarian so idk if this is bad. any help?...
A. 7 July 2009: I recently saw a documentary about eating disorders (I'm not saying you have one, I'm just going to tell you because she was underweight too.) and the girl on there said that even now she is 30, she has never had a period and she will NEVER be able ... (read in full...)
Why would she text me after telling me to forget about her?
Q. I went through this painful breakup with my now EXGF about a month and a half ago. Two weeks ago we ran into each other at the store and I said Hi and she said hi back without making too much eye contact. the next day I sent her a text just saying ...
A. 7 July 2009: Well she probably felt bad for being so nasty.
Girls tend to want to be friends with their ex boyfriends, even when that is not a good idea.
If you are not over her then tell her you need space and are not ready to be friends just yet.
You... (read in full...)
In his sleep he started talking about a girl showing up at his hotel room
Q. My husband went to a stag night away over a month ago. He swore to me nothing happened. At the back of my mind i now there is something he is hiding but he is very convincing and since he has always been a genuine guy i want to believe him. He ...
A. 7 July 2009: Well without making him do a lie detector test there is pretty much nothing you can do to find out.
What you have to do really is figure out what you WOULD do if you knew he had cheated. If you know you would leave him then hanging around waiting ... (read in full...)
I told him I like him but hes seeing another girl! What should I do?
Q. Im 18. Ive had a crush on this guy for two years now. I told him two days ago that I liked him but hes seeing someone else. We are still friends and talk to each other a lot. When I asked him if we could have ever been together, he said that hed ...
A. 7 July 2009: You need to figure out what you want to do with your boyfriend.
You say you may not be together soon... then why are you dragging it out? Are you that great that you think he should keep you in his life for the last second?
If you love him but... (read in full...)
When they tell me they love me I start to feel trapped. What can I do?
Q. I'm not sure what to do about this, I've thought about it a lot and I think I always want what I can't have. Lately I've been seeing a new guy, and until he said he really likes me I was feeling very attracted to him, but now not so much. And about ...
A. 7 July 2009: Maybe you just want something simple.
Saying I Love You does imply they want you as a long term THING in their life and there is the moving in and parents and getting a dog things that come with it.
The first simple stage of getting to know ... (read in full...)
Is it hard to go through college without a parent's support?
Q. I feel so bad, that I can't help my son with his college education . I don't have the money, and it brakes my heart to see, many of his friends, just spoiled to death. Not just that they don't have to take loan, but they don't even work , when ...
A. 7 July 2009: It is very hard. I lived on spaghatti and soy sauce for 3 weeks once at uni at the end of term haha.
But you know what. It helped me so so much because now I NEVER worry about money. I know I can live on nothing and I know how to juggle cash and... (read in full...)
Return call so quickly..good news? bad news?
Q. Ok, i wanted to post here because i am feeling very anxious !.i received a phone call today regarding an assessment i had last week for a job as a support worker ( it was on thursday ).Unfortunately,i missed the call and they left a message on my ...
A. 7 July 2009: Good news.
If it was bad they would have told you. Do you know how many people are going for every single vaccancy at the moment in the UK?
The last one I went for had 160 people apply. They wouldn't get you to call back and chase after you ... (read in full...)
How do I get over a breakup caused by distance not a flaw in the relationship?
Q. Hey Folks, Two months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of two years. We were long-distance for most of that time and saw each other once a month (on average). My ex kept an extremely busy schedule (theater + college + work), and my work took me ...
A. 7 July 2009: You just have to accept that it's at the wrong time.
I don't know if you believe in fate or destiny, but if you tell yourself that what will be will be.... then if you two really are so great then you'll get another chance.
Timing is eve... (read in full...)
I want a tattoo in remembrance of my grandfather
Q. ok. I have been thinking about this one for a very long time. My grandpa died a year and about 4 months ago and i would rlly like to get a tat in rememberance of him. he kind of lost himself because he had alzheimer's so most of my life h...
A. 7 July 2009: Woah, any tattoo you get now will be stretched out and look AWFUL by the time you are 20.
Your shoulders are going to carry on growing and the skin and muscle will develop and stretch.
Do you really want a tat of your grand dad that people ... (read in full...)
Can his ED trigger him to have such addictive desire to threesomes?
Q. I am dating this guy who keeps telling me I am the sexiest woman he's ever met. We have had fantastic, hot sex. Lately all he's been doing is asking me to consider a threesome. I would understand this desire if we were younger (he is over 50). To ...
A. 7 July 2009: I think it's more likely that because he finds you sexy, he thinks you are the kind of girl that will do the more kinky activities.
I see what you mean about maybe trying to overcompensate for his ED, but I think it's more likely that he has a ho... (read in full...)
I can feel his erection when we hug! How do I let him know in the right way?
Q. First off, my boyfriend and I work together. We don't have a lot of days off together, so we see eachother at work most of the time. Coworkers aren't allowed to date, so we act like everythings normal when people are around, so naturally there's ...
A. 7 July 2009: He's probably rather embarrassed by it so there is really no need to say anything at all.
But if you really want to say something then just tell him "I love knowing how much I turn you on."
Or put your hand on it while you are hugging him.
... (read in full...)
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