What is the easiest way to dump someone you've been with for over two years?
Q. What is the easiest way to dump someone you've been with for over two years? I've tried before but I hate making people feel bad. You have no idea what it does to me. But I have to do it, I'm miserable. I do love him, but it's just not the same ...
A. 29 July 2009: You are not stuck with him.
I thought that about my boyfriend when I was 17. I loved him but I was in no way "in love" with him anymore and was miserable.
All you have to do is just see him, say "We need to talk." and then tell him, you don't f... (read in full...)
Money conflict
Q. Me and my boyfriend want to move in together within the next few years. We had started saving, but he lost his job several months ago and has just been working every now and again, not regular work. He still goes out every weekend and is in his ...
A. 29 July 2009: Work out how much you need to have saved up to move in together.
EG:
Deposit: £500
Advance rent: £800
Furniture: £500 (for the basics second hand, you add / replace as you go on)
Emergency fund: £500
etc etc etc.
So lets say you want... (read in full...)
He doesn't believe I would NEVER cheat on him. How can I prove this to him?
Q. I've been a relationship for 5 years now. We've been through a lot together. I stay at his house almost every day even though I have my own place. A few days ago I received a call from a male friend I did not answer. My boyfriend's friend made a ...
A. 29 July 2009: You should be able to have male friends that GASP call you on the phone.
He has no right to blow up at you like this simply because you carry on seeing your friends that are men.
Tell him he is jealous and controlling and you will not put up ... (read in full...)
Did my husband REALLY mean what he said???
Q. Ok now im confused. My husband and I had a fight last night and he pretty much told me the only reason he's staying with me is because it's cheaper to keep me than divorce and pay child support on 3 kids. Then later he tries to apologize and says ...
A. 29 July 2009: The only person who knows what is in his head is him.
He could well have said it to hurt you in anger. He could have meant it the tiniest bit. He could mean it fully.
Tell him you can't get it out of your head (in a calm way) and tell him tha... (read in full...)
My sexuality...
Q. Hi, I like women but for some reason I only get an erection if I think about men, am I gay? Also I had sex 16 times with my brother's friend, it's sooo... but the thing is I need your help, please I beg you, I need help with my sexual contentment. ...
A. 29 July 2009: Sounds like you are bi sexual if you are sexually attracted to both men and women.
You don't have to label yourself though. You could like men 90% and women 10%, or the other way round.
It's not a tick box exercise.
Just accept that you ... (read in full...)
She broke my heart before, and now she seems to be acting the same way again!
Q. hey, basically, i really like this girl, i have liked her for about a year, and we acted like a relationship. (we went out together kissed had sex blah blah blah) but it wasn't official, and when i asked her about being together she kept saying i...
A. 29 July 2009: I'll give you the same advice that I would give to a girl with a guy who "isn't sure if he wants a relationship":
Cut contact.
Tell her that you don't want to be hurt again and so you need to cut contact. She can call someone else when she ne... (read in full...)
How do I overcome my Arachnophobia...help!
Q. Hi,this isnt really the kind of questions you ask on this site but i was wondering if anyone could tell me how to overcome my Arachnophobia. Its terrible, when i see a spider i cry, scream and take panic attacks. Im terrified when im in the house my...
A. 29 July 2009: I am scared of spiders but I am STARTING to get over it.
Start with money spiders - the ones the size of ants. Next time you see one, try and take a look at it closely.
Also, just remember that most of the thin spiders are basically just d... (read in full...)
My flirting has given a few guys the wrong impression, what do to?
Q. For various reasons, right now I'm very happy being single and dating here and there. But it turns out that me having a boyfriend is the only thing stopping a lot of guys I know from letting their imaginations run wild. As a few of my girlfriends ...
A. 29 July 2009: I'm the same. I flirt with everyone. You just don't notice you are doing it sometimes because you know that you are messing about.
Urg!
But yes, you just need to bring up the fact in conversation that you are just not interested in bo... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle my wife!
Q. my wife abuses me pysicologically and every so often phisically, she has had a bad up bringing eg rape, abandonment,irrashional behaviour and thoughts. she has an iq of 138 and uses this against me, she has an alcohol problem also, we have very big ...
A. 29 July 2009: Abusive relationships are never good.
You have to leave, it doesn't have to be for good but if she is physically violent and an alcoholic then you have to think of your personal safety and that of your child.
Why have you never called the polic... (read in full...)
This fight has been going on for 3 days now, what should I do?
Q. Hello, Im in a fight with my girlfriend for three days now. It started with something minor, She was rude and I told her that hurt me, but then she started accusing me of manipulating behaviour in our fights. She claims that im trying to make h...
A. 29 July 2009: Well it's clear that she doesn't want to talk to you or try and make this better.
It's clear that she doesn't care when you get upset.
Maybe you are sensitive and maybe she is very frank. Everyone is different and it could be that you two are... (read in full...)
I feel like if I have a threesome, the other person will fall in love with my man. Have you been in this situation before?
Q. I am a bisexual woman who is dating my soulmate. He is a great guy and has all of the qualities that I have dreamed about since I was a child. I love him so much. But I am bisexual and I do have my moments where I crave other women. But I have ...
A. 28 July 2009: It says you are 16 to 17.
I'm going to assume you are older.
Bringing someone you know as a friend into bed with your man is a BAD BAD BAD BAD idea.
You are going to have to see her and he is going to have to see her and you are going to be ... (read in full...)
How do I kindly break up with someone? I still love him and don't want to hurt him
Q. I need to know how to kindly dump someone you still love and don't want to hurt. I've tried it before, but he started balling and at one point hyper-ventilating. I don't think I can do that again. I couldn't stand to see him that way and took it all ...
A. 28 July 2009: Breaking up with someone is never nice. But unless you don't date anyone until you are ready to get married, you are going to have to do it and have it done to you.
You just have to get it over with.
Tell him that you are not happy, that you ... (read in full...)
I get wet before having sex, is there something wrong with me?
Q. im in a sexual relationship and my fella always comments on how wet i am down below before we have sex. he always mentions it and has also mentioned that he has had to use lube with some of his exes and never with me so im starting to wonder if ...
A. 28 July 2009: Being wet is the normal response to getting turned on. It would hurt like hell if you didn't have some kind of natural lubrication system for sex.
All it means is that your boyfriend has got the hang of turning girls on, where as his ex's weren't ... (read in full...)
Is the guy I met on holiday playing games with me??
Q. met a guy on holiday, we got on brill. he did show signs of being insecure and a bit jealous. and i think he liked me to chase after him. since i got home i txt him the other week and he did not reply to me although my text did not require a ...
A. 28 July 2009: You rejected him on holiday and then you sent a text rejecting him again.
Can you really blame him for being a bit funny with you?
Just leave it alone. He doesn't sound like he's going to be a great friend to you anyway.
Why waste any m... (read in full...)
How can I inprove my social skills?
Q. how can i brush up and improve my social skills? when studyin a-levels i didnt go out as much anymore and i lost quite a lot of friends. lately i have made friends. however because i am now somewhat insecure, if they do not call then i dont cal...
A. 28 July 2009: Just text them and say "I'm bored, want to meet up?"
This isn't something you research and take notes on like your A Levels.
This is something you go out and watch and play at, like a sport.
Get out there and watch how people interact, but... (read in full...)
He just wants to cuddle because of my age, but I want more.
Q. I like this lad but i'm not sure if he likes me. He says he does but hes 18 and i am 14. He says if i was older he would defiantly date me. He says he doesn't want sex he just wants a loving relationship where he can just be with me cuddling me and ...
A. 28 July 2009: Yes, it means he has made it clear he is not going to risk:
a) a beating from your dad / big brothers
b) underage pregnancy
c) a criminal record
d) being labelled a paedophile
e) getting on the sex offenders register.
So just be his frie... (read in full...)
My long distance relationship is over but he still wants me to see him!
Q. ive been in a long distance relationship for 8 months . and on friday i am going to see him for the weekend but last night he said he doesnt tink its working out.spoke to him today and he said he still wants me to go and see him and he still loves ...
A. 27 July 2009: He wants to split up face to face.
Go along and it will help you once you have talked things through.
When you leave at the end of the weekend, say your goodbyes and then don't see him or speak to him again for at least 3 weeks.
Gettin... (read in full...)
I wear the same clothes all the time that I go to hospital in, am I spreading MRSA?
Q. I'm visiting my gf a LOT recently in hospital due to her illness but i haven't been changing my clothes when i get back and i have been lounging around on my bed and the sofa etc as i haven't seen the point in changing when i get back so late. I ...
A. 27 July 2009: It's not you that you should be bloody well worried about!!!
A third of adults in this country carry MRSA around. We are all fine with it though because it only hurts ILL people. People like YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
By being a grubby little idiot you... (read in full...)
My parents are leaving fore a few weeks, how am I supposed to cope with looking after my brother and sister?
Q. MOD NOTE: Age appears to be incorrect, the poster says she is 19. My cousin is getting married. Great, huh? Not for me. My 46 year old parents left (For a few weeks. They want to get to know the bride). I have to push of school for a few we...
A. 27 July 2009: Tell them that you simply cannot manage 2 kids.
They must either provide a LOT of money for you to pay for a nanny so you can work / study.
Or tell them that you are going to bring in help in the form of social services.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before sleeping with a guy?
Q. when you meet a guy what is the time frame you should wait to go to bed I don't want him to think im easy or slutty...
A. 27 July 2009: It depends a lot on circumstances and how much you like him.
If you want a serious relationship with him then make sure you have been in a secure, exclusive formal relationship for a few weeks before you have sex.
Kissing and getting close an... (read in full...)
I'm really struggling to cope with the sudden set back in what I thought was a great relationship.
Q. I need some love life advice even thought i am pretty sure i know the answer already. I have been seeing someone i love to bits for 5 months and he loves me too. Recently he bought a house a moved out of his parents, and to start with he said he like...
A. 27 July 2009: Yey!!
I'm really glad it worked out.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
How can I make her believe I care for her??
Q. ok so i met this girl on a trip. we spent the whole week talking and we got together. problem is she doesnt believe i care about her. i dont know how she doesnt because if she fell as i was asking how she was and all. she fainted and i nearly had a ...
A. 26 July 2009: Tell her!
If you say "I really like you, as in fancy you and think you are beautiful and want you to be my girlfriend" then she will have to believe you.
If she says that she doesn't she is either mentally ill, or she's playing a stupid game be... (read in full...)
How do I cope alone with Involuntary celibacy?
Q. i know what wrong with me now i suffer Involuntary celibacy all my life.its no wondering i have being rejected all the time no matter how nice dress or did n,t it did n,t make difference, because i suffer Involuntary celibacy like i said i was born ...
A. 26 July 2009: Ok, read this back and realise that you are clearly typing this as a desperate plea for help as you are drowning in your own self pity.
If you are depressed then you are not going to attract anyone.
Go and talk to your friends and tell them ho... (read in full...)
Her mom and brothers are against us dating!
Q. i'm 17 and my girlfriend is 13 we are 4 years apart. what makes it worse is my friend little sister her mums took away her phone and made it clear not to try to talk to her daughter again and her bros are pissed off". this might led to fighting....
A. 23 July 2009: You need to stay away from her.
Talk to your friends and tell them that you really do care about her but you respect her mother and brothers and will stay away from her.
Let things calm down and then write a letter to her explaining how y... (read in full...)
My boyfriends mother hates me! What can I do?
Q. me and my boyfriend has been together for 2 yrs and it has been a bumpy road for us but we are managing and still are together, but the problem is his mother, she hates me and he says no she dont but i know because is not possible for somebody to ...
A. 23 July 2009: Next time she says something just ask her calmly and in an adult way what her problem is with you. Ask her if you have offended her some how.
If she says she's fine then tell her she comes across as though she really doesn't like you and you don'... (read in full...)
My little boy has an air buble behind his belly button, can anyone help?
Q. hiya i am a new mum 2 a little boy, he is now just over 4 weeks old and i have noticed an air bubble behind his belly button which is raise and is squishy 2 press. can any body help? x...
A. 22 July 2009: Call NHS Direct. Or book yourself in to see the doc some time this week. If he's not in pain and not showing any other symptoms like being off his food etc, then he probably won't die between you ringing the GP first thing in the morning, and ... (read in full...)
20 and never had a boyfriend...What am I doing wrong?
Q. i'm 20 and i've never had a boyfriend! I'm ready for one, what am i doing wrong? I am confident, happy and sure i'm not all that looks wise but there's nothing wrong with me either. I go out, socialise, I've dated a bit, had fwb (i found ou...
A. 22 July 2009: Well how many new guys are you meeting and flirting with in the average week? Boyfriends don't fall out of the sky, so when you go out, make sure you look great and flirt a bit. Make sure your body language says "talk to me, I'm available" rathe... (read in full...)
His performance in bed is so disappointing I'm not sure I want to see him again! Should I tell him?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a very short time, He invited me to his place for a meal the other night. After a few glasses of wine, we ended up in bed. I was very dissapointed in his performance, to say the least. He was too rough, and didnt bother...
A. 22 July 2009: Well only you know if he's going to be worth your effort. If you like him and think he's worth investing some time in then tell him you really like him but you need him to be a bit more attentive in bed. Tell him what you like when you get t... (read in full...)
My ex is having crazy mood swings, what's her problem
Q. I work with an ex who cheated on me. I walked away caused no trouble and was hurt. It appears the other man didn't work out. During this time I have made every attempt to be civil and polite with my ex. But what I find is one day she will ...
A. 22 July 2009: Urgh, this is why I never date people I work with.
She is probably feeling guilty and having a hard time getting over you when she has to see you every day.
Don't forget that just because she cheated, it doesn't mean she didn't care about you a... (read in full...)
I'm scared I might be bi!
Q. Im scared i might be bi. I mean ive always questioned it but im scared to admit it to myself. I mean i have a boyfriend and i love him but i still have feelings towards girls not really sexual just like i like them. i mean i think i have a crush o...
A. 22 July 2009: You shouldn't cheat on your boyfriend with your friend.
Cheating is cheating whether it's with a boy or a girl.
Also, you are leading her on, and that's not right.
Whether or not you are bi, is something you will find out with time and a... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting to move on and find happiness?
Q. I have decided to end things with my partner, sheerly because he gambles five days a week, we have one child together and i have three from a previous relationship, and he pays no interest in them only complains about their behaviour, they are ...
A. 22 July 2009: Scared kitty is right.
You need to leave this man.
If you tell him that you are unhappy and want to end it then he can argue all he wants but there is no argument that can change the fact that:
1. "I don't want to be with you any more."
2. ... (read in full...)
With him, it's constant kisses and hugs and "I love yous" and it's really starting to annoy me!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 4 months now and hes become totally obsessed with me. I constantly get txts asking "wuu2" or "ily so much babe x" and its like really freaking me out....at first it was like aww now i find myself i...
A. 22 July 2009: You need to talk to him. He's obviously not felt this way before so he's just overdosing on love and hormones as he can't handle it.
It's going to be not nice and he probably will be a little bit hurt at first because you are going to burst hi... (read in full...)
What is the best way to explain to my family that I am attracted to women and not men?
Q. Dear Cupid, i am 25 and have feelings for women, recently my favourite radio presenter was axed due to a new company takeover, my parents aren't understanding that i am emotionally, physically and sexually attracted to her. I have had strong ...
A. 22 July 2009: It sounds like they are hoping this is just a "phase" and you will get yourself a nice boyfriend at some point and forget this silly "liking girls" thing.
The previous generation, including my mum too, often have a bit of a hard time acceptin... (read in full...)
Why wont they accpet that I don't drink and stop pressuring me?
Q. My bf, his whole family, and his friends all keep trying to force me to drink through pressuring me. I keep telling them I dont drink, but they wont accept it, they continue to harrass me non stop. They buy me alcoholic drinks and say "you have to ...
A. 22 July 2009: I would simply not go out with them any more.
Tell your boyfriend that you are sick of feeling pressured by them and if you are not going to have fun with them then why should you bother going?
He can go on his own and tell them that they n... (read in full...)
My ex has a twisted logic to justify our broken relationship
Q. I've recently ended my relationship with my ex because she was seeing this other girl behind my back, but when i was breaking up with her she's been saying all these things like "i knew this would happen because you don't want this to work but i do" ...
A. 21 July 2009: She's being a dick to try and justify the fact she's completely and utterly in the wrong.
Let the cheating moron go off and be dramatic with her new girl.
You should rise above and know you are better than this and the next girl you date wi... (read in full...)
I need a date for the wedding fast!
Q. Hi! Need a bit of advice please guys and galls, Been invited to a mates wedding at work but the invite is for mke plus partner im single have been for 2 months. I really wanna go to the wedding but cant let my mate down I need to find a date ...
A. 21 July 2009: You do understand that you don't HAVE to take a plus one. It's just an option if you want to take a mate or girl.
Inviting someone to a wedding as a date is going to be very dodgy as they have to meet ALL your friends and people's parents.... (read in full...)
My boyfriends mum is trying to control what I do with my child! Help
Q. I recently fount out that I'm expecting a baby girl. Me and my boyfriend loved the name scarlett, and I was adement that I wanted to call her Scarlett prior to finding out the sex, if she was going to be a girl that is. Being warry of telling...
A. 21 July 2009: Oh dear, it's a fact of life than when you don't plan a baby then you get landed with what ever grandparents come along.
Other than moving a few hundred miles away from them your best bet is having your boyfriend have a word.
You don't men... (read in full...)
I had sex with a girl I love very much, now shes ignoring me...why?
Q. So I been hanging out with this girl that I work with. I’m totally crazy about her, we pretty much got hired around the same time 6 months ago. A couple of weeks ago we met after work to have dinner and we later did “stuff” in my car. Fast forwar...
A. 21 July 2009: You need to talk to her.
It could be that she is really scared that since she had sex with you before you were even going out, that you are going to think she's slutty and tell everyone at work.
Go and tell her that you want to be with her and ... (read in full...)
Best way to confess undying love?
Q. i need to confess my undying love to a girl before she leaves for uni. what is the best way to do this? jamez x...
A. 21 July 2009: She's going to uni - you're 13 to 15.
You've left it to the last minute so you clearly don't expect to get anything back from her.
So, telling her will make you feel better but she will 99% not want to get into a long distance relationship wit... (read in full...)
Can it work to have a relationship with a professional escort?
Q. Since February 2009, I have been dating an escort from a Western European country. She and I have seen each other 9 times for up to one week at a time and sometimes for as little as 2 days at a time. She has been very open in telling me she loves ...
A. 21 July 2009: I know you are hooked on her and I know you are not going to like this advice, so I know you are not going to do anything but continue to be hurt.
She is either your girlfriend, or your escort. She cannot be in the middle.
She is probably very... (read in full...)
A Fickle Ex BF. How Do You Fix A Fickle Person?
Q. I just realized that my ex and I broke up cos he's fickle. He claims he just wasn't feeling it anymore. But he seemed happy daily, contacted me daily and even when given the opportunity to be alone or hang w/ friends - he'd wanna see me. He made up ...
A. 21 July 2009: He'll stop being fickle when the option of messing you about is taken away.
If you say that you do not want to be with someone who is going to blow hot and cold and make excuses and cut contact then he MIGHT figure out what an idiot he is being an... (read in full...)
I'm really struggling to cope with the sudden set back in what I thought was a great relationship.
Q. I need some love life advice even thought i am pretty sure i know the answer already. I have been seeing someone i love to bits for 5 months and he loves me too. Recently he bought a house a moved out of his parents, and to start with he said he like...
A. 12 September 2008: Hmmm, 3 nights a week isn't exactly like you've moved yourself in.... but on the other hand after only 5 months it is a bit too soon to be moving in together and perhaps that is what he is scared is going to happen.
I'd have a really good talk to ... (read in full...)
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