A
male
age
51-59,
*orried71
writes:My girlfriend recently broke up with me. It is kind of a long story so I won't get in to all of it but long story short she misubderstood something I said, took it as being a control freak said it brought up a red flag. She agreed to talk to me last Friday, when I contacted her in the morning leaving a mesage on her phone, she took till late afternoon to get back to me by text message and said she has other stuff she needs to do. Ok so she lied to me. I then asked her when would be good for her? She never aswered. I saw her online later that night asked if we could talk she either blocked me or quickly got offline.So I am at the point right now thinking I tried 3 times she blew me off 3 times, I never got the chance to explain so screw her. If she wants to talk she can contact me. I am relizing that is easier said then done. I can't stop thinking about her.So am I right in my actions or should I make another attempt? She still has clothes and belongings at my house which I am sure if she wants them back she will have to contact me or just buy new stuff. Should I leave a message on her phone giving her a deadline to pick them up by? Keep them for like 2 weeks before I throw them away? or put them in a bag and put it out in the shed and wait for her to ever get the courage to talk? I could sure use some help here. My brain is telling me one thing my heart is telling me another. How do I move on when whenever I look at another girl it looks like her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): what was the argument about?
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 July 2009):
I disagree with the other 2 posters.
She obviously has had some issues with an ex and is now very wary of getting into a bad situation again.
Her ex probably was able to twist things to make it her fault, and so she may well not want to see you in case you do the same and manipulate her into getting back into a bad situation. She doesn't trust herself with the situation so she's avoiding it. Does that make sense?
You don't need to see her to explain yourself. Just send her an email or even a letter and explain what you meant and how you would never try and control her.
Give her a chance to come back to you, but let her read your explanation in her own time so she doesn't feel scared or pressured.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (7 July 2009):
 I would leave everything alone for a while. Keep her stuff with you but don't make any ultimatums or give her any deadlines. Even after a few days people calm down and see things differently. I would e-mail her in a nice calm manner stating exactly what the truth is about the misuderstanding and then leave it like that. She can then think about it, mull it over and come back to you. Do not chase her or keep texting just explain yourself and wait for her to respond. If she has stuff at your house then your relatioship is considerably involved so she will come back to you once she has calmed down. Just give her some space for a while. Good luck x
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A
male
reader, holikdad +, writes (7 July 2009):
Move on, if she blew up over a misunderstanding or something small then it was probably her way to leave you. Most people don't have the guts to tell the person they're with that they want out of the relationship so they'll create an argument and leave permanently in a huff, or they'll cheat and allow you to catch them.
If she's blowing you off then it's not worth your time to try to win her back.
Box her stuff, put it in the closet or storage somewhere and get rid of it in a couple of months if she doesn't claim it.
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