A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. About 3 or 4 weeks ago I started seeing a guy, who we shall call michael. It was very much him pursuing me and took me out on 3 dates, with a 4th planned for this week. We aren't going out yet but it was certainly going that way. He is a really nice guy, very sweet, always respectful of me, and I do genuinally like him. However last night he phoned and said something had happened that ne needed some time to think about.He told me that before he knew me about 2 months ago he was seeing another girl who later told him she was going abroad for a year so they called it off. He said this was fine and even though he liked her he moved on. But yesterday she phoned him up and said her plans have changed and now she wouldn't be going abroad at all.He says he doesn't know what to do. He was with this girl for about 3 months before me so they had a proper relationship, but now she's coming back. He doesn't know if he wants to be involved with her again.He says he's moved on from her but that the whole thing has really knocked him.He also says he likes me a lot and doesn't know what to do and says he needs to have time to think and get his head around everything and said he'd call me tonight.What do I do?Even though I was a little upset to hear the news last night we stayed up talking, like normal, laughing and joking on the phone, till 2am. He spoke about how he wishes I was there to cuddle.Think I just need some genuine advice and thoughts. I feel as though he's going to tell me he wants to be with me but guess I want some other opinions too.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 July 2009):
 Like Emily said, there isn't a lot you can do. I would try and respect that he is taking his time here. I also hope for your sake that he is man enough to let you know asap who he "picks".
If you really like this guy give him a chance. He seems worth the wait.
Good luck, I'll cross my fingers for you.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 July 2009):
There is not a lot you can do here.
If you just carry on as you are then he won't feel pressured and he'll hopefully be able to get his head straight.
Keep strong and keep an open mind.
Try and guard your feelings a little bit because you don't want to throw everything at him and get hurt.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): This guy sounds like he really is in a quandry. Give him the space he needs to make up his mind whether he wants to get back with the ex or stay with you.
He has been very honest and open with you about his feelings, which is great, but now he needs you to understand where he is coming from. Hang in there!!
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