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female
age
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anonymous
writes: I feel so bad, that I can't help my son with his college education . I don't have the money, and it brakes my heart to see, many of his friends, just spoiled to death. Not just that they don't have to take loan, but they don't even work , when school is over in may.They just part and travel. I wonder is it really hard to support yourself, or it is the parents responsibility to do that. I almost think ,its not good for thise kids , but my son, feels they are the lucky ones.My question is ,is it ok , to go thru post secondary education,without parenting support,or is it very hard? Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): There is nothing harder than trying to "get by" in college without a parent's financial support. College is stressful on it's own, and trying to be an effective (not even successful) student while worrying about buying food and paying for incidentals is almost impossible. I speak from experience, I'm trying to do it right now. Try to find a way to help him. Encourage him to apply for an ROTC scholarship or join the national guard (he can go to school while enlisted, they pay some tuition and give a stipend). Help him with loans if you can.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): My single father also could not affort my university fees and was unable to contribute in any way to my living expenses as he is very poor.Not once did I regret it or think badly of him, he did a great job brnging up 3 kids all alone.I suported myself through uni with part time work. This has benefited me in many ways. Firstly I appreciate how hard it is to make money and it has made me mre responsible with it. I also have learnt skliis like time managment from combining work and study with a social life. Also when I graduated employers looked on me favourably as I had previous experiance working something my spoilt rich friends never had.Seriously dont worry, those spoilt people in my experiance will continue to lean on their parents for many years to come. Your child will become confident, resiliant and self sufficent.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 July 2009):
It is very hard. I lived on spaghatti and soy sauce for 3 weeks once at uni at the end of term haha.
But you know what. It helped me so so much because now I NEVER worry about money. I know I can live on nothing and I know how to juggle cash and get second jobs and work hard and not moan about it.
The people I did know who's parents just handed them cash on demand CANNOT cope with the idea of rent and bills and not having a good income. It freaks them out and they get horribly stressed by stupid things because they have been wrapped in financial cotton wool.
They will get far further in life on their own and will be proud of themselves for it, rather than running to daddy for a hand out even when they have kids of their own.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): You and your son can make it through, believe me. Whatever you got there, even if you are financially unstable, as long as you support him in other ways it is good enough.I have experienced this before as my father died when I was in secondary school and my mom was left with 4 kids to support and she was just a plain housewife. It was really a difficult time for us. It took around a decade of hardship. But each one of us siblings found a way to make it. We worked, I worked as a working student in my university. Every cent I earn is gold. Sometimes we don't have anything to eat and the debts are simply impossible to pay. There were semesters I had to stop and it took me so long to get this Bachelors Degree I have been dreaming. But my mom wont give up on me and I can't imagine being an undergraduate forever! It was my mom's determination and persuasion that inspired us. And look now, its like those years had not happened at all. All 3 of us have finished college..only my brother who has 1 semester to go but thats so easy to achieve now. And I told my mom to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Its time for her to sit down and relax.Goodluck to you and hope this inspires you.
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A
female
reader, babymama99  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 Please don't feel bad, he has your support; thats priceless.
When I was in college I got loans and when I got out I paid them. And I am VERY proud of myself. I know that if my parents were able to pay for my higher education they would have done it without a second thought but it wasn't possible. I would not have wanted to see them struggling to put me through school, when I could come out of school and pay it off myself.
Your son just has to start living in the "real world" a little earlier than his friends. But when he gets finished he can pat himself on the back and say "good job ole boy" and you will be standing beside him with a big grin on your face and pride in your eyes saying "that's MY boy".
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