A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey Folks,Two months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of two years. We were long-distance for most of that time and saw each other once a month (on average). My ex kept an extremely busy schedule (theater + college + work), and my work took me to remote areas where I had no telephone access for days at a time. When we were together, things were great, but the combination of distance, our incompatible schedules for calls, and the period between visits became too much for us to endure.Almost all of the faults in our relationship could be directly attributed to the distance.We're both extremely committed to our careers, and at this point in our lives are placing them above relationships.As we were breaking up, my ex said "If you're still not married when you're 28, call me. Things are too hard right now, but this is the best relationship I've ever had, and I can see us working in the long run." I completely shared her sentiments and said as much. Knowing that, I don't know how to move on from her.My ex is now seeing someone new, so it seems she's found a way to move forward. But I'm at a loss. We're no longer in communication - at least until we've both healed some. So I can't (and shouldn't) ask her for advice.I think she could be the woman I spend the rest of my life with. How can I achieve closure and acceptance, and start dating again when I feel so deeply connected with her? Especially when it's a connection we plan to rekindle if circumstances shift?Thanks for any advice you may provide.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 July 2009):
You just have to accept that it's at the wrong time.
I don't know if you believe in fate or destiny, but if you tell yourself that what will be will be.... then if you two really are so great then you'll get another chance.
Timing is everything and maybe it just wasn't right. Better to break up on good terms and then get back together when you have the time to be good to eachother, than for her or you to get so lonely and desperate to be held that you end up cheating and ruining everything.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, kaitlyn411 +, writes (7 July 2009):
well im actually in the same pain diff situation i just had a break up on june 9th and see i really like him and thought he liked me he looked it he showed it he admitted it.and so we went on 4 a few months while we were dating my friend told everyoen she liked himsince 3rd grade so everyone thinks i stole him,but now they are dating so what do i do? and i thinkj break ups take awile to recover from but i think everyone has a soulmate just wait till the right one comes dont get your heart set into someone who thinks nothing of you and doesnt care wait till you look into each tohers eyes and see something that youve never seen before and you will see what you thought love was but no body knows what love is until they find it,and no one knows areal relationship unill they have one
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): I'm not entirely sure, but I am in the same situation as you, although we've only been together for a year and it's still sort of off and on. You have that connection, which I feel too so I know how rare and beautiful it is, and how hard it is to put into words. You feel like you will always come back to each other, right? With us at least, I feel like we can be with other people and not have it affect what we share, because our connection is on such a deep level. Like your girl, I'm also seeing someone new where I live, but somehow that doesn't diminish anything I share with the far away guy. I'm not even being emotionally unfair on the new guy. It's a good idea for you to heal and work things out without communicating for a little while, but be patient because the two of you will always know each other.
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