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A Fickle Ex BF. How Do You Fix A Fickle Person?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 July 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *ixieGwen writes:

I just realized that my ex and I broke up cos he's fickle. He claims he just wasn't feeling it anymore. But he seemed happy daily, contacted me daily and even when given the opportunity to be alone or hang w/ friends - he'd wanna see me. He made up other excuses for breaking up w/ me - not wanting marriage/kids but I didn't believe em considering he talked bout that stuff hypothetically w/ me.

I told him it made no sense to me - him acting like he liked/wanted me 24/7 and then to come the conclusion its just not working.To me that's not normal..but to him it is. I said we should've dated longer * we were together for 2 mo*.. and he agreed. He says after he gets his shit together *financially* - that then maybe dating can happen. He said that a crappy financial situation ruins relationships..so he feels its important to fix that first and didnt want me dealing w/ it.

How could someone fix being fickle? if youve been fickle in a lot of relationships - how do u fix it?

He hates being fickle and I wish hed try to fix it.. its already 28.. and apparently has been fickle in other relationships.

Im the type of person that will try to make something work...endlessly.I understand negative thoughts of maybe a relationship not working out.. but those feelings or thoughts go away usually - for me that is.

View related questions: broke up, my ex

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A female reader, PixieGwen United States +, writes (21 July 2009):

PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question

PixieGwen agony auntAfter seein him tonight I plan on not contacting him for close to 2 wks (ill be in NY)..so theres no point.

Hopefully itll bother him.

As for him being fickle.He's done this before. He a] either ends it for whatever reason or B] gets cheated on or completely lied to.This has happened in every relationship - he repeats his lame pattern.

Even though I have more things to say to him bout him being fickle - im not gonna bother.Doesnt seem like itd make a diff.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (21 July 2009):

He'll stop being fickle when the option of messing you about is taken away.

If you say that you do not want to be with someone who is going to blow hot and cold and make excuses and cut contact then he MIGHT figure out what an idiot he is being and sort himself out.

People don't change if they don't have to. At the moment he doesn't have to because he's being as fickle as he likes and you are just taking it and telling him you'll be there when he's next in the mood to be in love with you.

Good Luck!! xx

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