A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I recently met a woman who I started dating. I was rather unimpressed with her so over weight and that she was not really a good looking person. We have no plans to extend this into a relationship as we agreed that we were just dating. I do like her as a friend, but I'm just not wanting a relationship with her even though we are having sex, she pushed the sex on me. I know I didn't have to accept it, but having gone without for some time, I did. Being so, here's the sticky part. She introduced me to her neighbor, a cute single woman who was obviously very attracted to me. We actually couldn't keep our eyes off each other. We did somehow keep it respectful. I am wanting to ask her out but do not want to hurt the woman I'm dating. Out of respect for my date, should I just forget about this neighbor who couldn't keep her eyes off me? I can't stop thinking about her. I haven't met anyone with instant attraction like this. I don't want to hurt my date and want to know if I should make the move or not. There is no doubt about the attraction. We both felt it. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010): OK, their not close friends, more like good neighbors. I went out on a blind date with this as you all call her an FWB. I didn't go there looking for sex, never expected that on a first date which does tell me she is lonely and sexually frustrated. Well I was frustrated too, but I'd never ask for sex on a first date. We met on the web, she invited me for pizza and wine. I never promised her anything, she asked me to come back for more sex. I've only know the woman for 2 weeks. She thinks I'm a great kisser and enjoys the long forplay as much as I do. I enjoy her as a friend and I sure don't mind having sex with her. She knows we are only dating, she knows I could be dating others, and she is free to date too. Her neighbor is more of the type I would want for a relationship. She is the opposite of the FWB and of my exwife who both are over weight by a lot. Neither one can walk distance, I'm sure this other woman can. She's petite and strong, she's no beauty queen, but very attractive to me. The girl code, huh, women don't even respect the girl code when they see someone they want sex from. I've had enough offers from friends wives and even my wife's sister asked me to screw her. I screwed a few of them and had sex multiple times with my wife's always horny sister because they wanted me to, some girl code. Yes my exwife knows. I want a relationship, I want to be attracted to whom I'm with. I don't want to hurt the FWB, but she knows in her heart I'm not interested in a real relationship with her. I just don't want any drama from either one of them. I'm going to approach this woman over the weekend and tell her I'm attracted to her and let the chips fall. I'm going to see what happens. Worst case I lose both of them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): we need more information...how close is their friendship...how long have you been dating chick #1, what have you said to her in terms of the relationship? how good of friends are they....
Yep, you are violating the girl code....you need to realize that it could destroy any semblance of friendship these two have. So do the right thing, break up with girl #1 before going out with girl #2...and dont be seen together for a good long while.
Having said all of that, i think you should pursue the attraction...I was in your shoes...and I ended up with the guy, but I lost my friend over it. they werent sleeping together, and in fact he didnt even like her, but she liked him...and she was my best friend. I tried to wait it out, thought she would move on to someone else, he got impatient, and i gave in. So be aware that there is a girl code...and you will be breaking it.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (26 July 2010):
 First of all I wanna kick you in the shin for dating someone you wern't attracted to in the first place and having sex with her and leading her on!!
Ok already she forced sex on you and thats probably because she's a little desperate for attention...but seriously your not gonna get through this without causing the woman some extreme pain and possibly breaking up her 'girl friendship' (ok we dont know how good friends they are but they are neighbours and so that means they are going to find it hard to avoid eachother)
I understand you felt a connection with the neighbour and I bet a pound to a penny she has a sexy bod and pretty face (God help us from shallow men!!)...and I would also lay money that your gonna go for it!! and that your gonna result to some serious skulking around...really I can see it now!!...well at your peril man!!
Tisha is right...this is seriously breaking the girl code, so be prepared for a lot of grief and maybe a horses head in your bed!!! :-)
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!!! and when it's with one of her friends you better have your iron shorts and your running shoes on!!
Best of British luck old boy!!!! xxx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 July 2010):
 It would have been so much easier if he wasn't going for a friend of his FWB. Only I don't think his FWB thinks she's an FWB, I think she thinks she's a GF. Which is where the problems fits in.
He has to end the FWB first, before he can date the one he wants, but he's up against the girl code. If the one he wants is good friends with his FWB, he's going to get nowhere. If the one he wants thinks he's the BF of what he considers the FWB, then he is toast.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 July 2010):
Oh good grief. Here I am betraying my half of our species, going against the woman-code. Blame Q.
Describe for me please how close a friendship they have. And tell us when the last sexual encounter with the date occurred?
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (26 July 2010):
 Before you get involved with this neighbor, you should first of all stop dating the woman you have been seeing.
Make it clear that there is to be no more contact, and let her down as kindly and gently as you can. No need to go into details about the neighbor, though.
Afraid I don't agree with the other response you received....sorry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): You are not in a committed relationship with this women. She hit up on you to have sex. I would definelty ask the other women out. You are not cheating by doing this. and, yes, it is very rare to feel that chemistry you describe. Best of luck!
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