A
female
age
30-35,
*ree2live505
writes:This is a very "loaded" question, so if you're in a hurry then I suggest you skip this... answer 1 of the "concerns" or all of them... give you're opinion on the whole matter... or if you had any stories/experiences like/similar to this?... etc any input is back is appreciated thanks :)Sooo... Where do I even begin?Well basically let me start off with the fact that I'm 2 months from 18 and he's 19.. 1 1/2 older than me... It all started when I requested him on fb... (you know the random "ooO, he's cute... *add*)... wasn't expecting much out of it... but we started talking, and Lord only knew 3 months later we would still be talking... to be exact about 2-3 hours almost every night now... depending on how tired we are... or one of us falls asleep... but he just gets me... we're so different yet so much the same... both of us have very difficult pasts... his parents are both dead/i'm adopted due to abusive parents.. that to name a few... we both have similar interests... and what's cool about him is that he's originally from Brazil, moved to the U.S when he was 16.. speaks Portuguese... and said that he'd love to go back someday... and this to me is completely awesome... like everything about him I find intriguing... he just keeps me wanting to know more and more... and he's probably one of the most beautiful guys on the inside AND out... like believe me girls... he's got a body/face that'd take your breathe away... but despite that he's got a very good heart... very sweet/romantic/protective/respectful/sexy/adorable/loyal... I mean I know he's human and stuff don't get me wrong, but I've never felt this way towards anyone... I know he loves me to death... but with all good things, there comes bad things... this leads me to the two things that concern me...1) He IS a guy from the internet... and I know the whole 101 dating internet hype, and the "he's a predator" type stuff, but believe me I'm very well aware of that, and I can pretty much rule out that he is who he says he is... but that being said, I'm worried that things will never get past the internet... We've already planned on calling each other for the first time this Saturday (really excited/scared)... I know my sister met her husband online so I know things can work out/anything can happen but I'm quite honestly scared that things will never work out between us... I really want them to, but this also leads me to the 2nd thing...2) Kinda goes back on the first one, but I'm starting to think he's TOO good for me... like I'm really nothing to scream over... I come from the country (city girl at heart though) he comes from the city... he's had 5 girlfriends... all accept for one cheated on him... one was with his bestfriend... I know he's very "popular" with the girls over there... his friends have confirmed this to me... and the constant harassment letters I get from girls saying that I'm a fat whore/pig/sh*t face/etc also confirms this... it has died down recently but still I'm basically hated down there now just because he likes me... and basically I'm starting to get scared to even go down there... I mean just imagine it... I mean there's just so much pressure... and it's starting to scare the hell out of me... We probably won't meet for another year, so I'm thinking it'll give me a chance to prepare myself... but even then it scares me, and I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough to be his girlfriend... I mean quite honestly I'm fat (200Ibs), out of shape like major... have skin/acne problems... and a lot of emotional/trust problems (we actually are similar in that aspect)... I mean I guess if anything, he's helping me get motivated to get in shape and stuff, but still I don't know if I can live up to all the "hype" and expectation or so you would call it... I mean quite honestly I'm really between heaven and hell right now, so I just don't know what to do/think any more... any advice/comments/thoughts by anyone??
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female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (26 July 2010):
I hope things are going well for you! and all the "letters" helped you? and i would also have to agree w/ (RAINORFIRE)
take it from a man, who can tell you from the total opp sex.
Good Luck Again!
A
female
reader, free2live505 +, writes (23 July 2010):
free2live505 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok nevermind the picture didn't work sorry guys ha
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A
female
reader, free2live505 +, writes (23 July 2010):
free2live505 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhttp://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=450693&id=1842770476 (me) i've been told countless times that i only look like i'm 160 but the scale doesn't lie... idk, i think i look like crap but that is my opinion.. anyways...
& ya i can see where you guys are coming from, i do make him sound like he's a f*cking god lol, but i know he has his flaws... & basically the only reason why we started talking in the first place is because i provoked it.. & i really didn't talk alot of personal things about myself the first few convos... & he didn't really say much personal things.. it was just getting to know each other type stuff... & during those convo's we found we had a lot in common... so ya
& i'm feeling the pressure because of the girls that constantly harass me, like they make me feel like i'm not good enough... i mean what if they are right?? & he has seen pictures of me (i was in clothes thanks & all on fb, ha) & he really likes them so i mean maybe he's in to the bigger girls or something? idk...
@Oregongrl1 that's a good point you make about him coming to see me first... it'll probably work out better that way anyways, IF it happened
we also only talk over facebook/text that's all, but like i said we're gonna talk for the first time this weekend so we'll see what happens
but thanks to everyone's opinons, i really appreciate it, i kinda needed some people to put some light into the situation, so i'll keep you posted :)
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (22 July 2010):
Wow! your right, there is so much going on i would be scared too! my sister met a guy on the internet and they talked for 2 yrs and she was married w/ 3 children! but wasn't happy in her marriage even tho i told her it was wrong. she was falling for an internet fool and planned her journey anyway even went as fas as putting flowers on his mothers grave on her way to the carolinas. well she gets there and gets a rm and gets all cleaned up and hids for the beach where she was to meet him? well he arrives she called me as she said she would because i was worried, she said they laughed and laughed went out to dinner and he wanted to get her a rm closer to his motel thank god she declined. well my other sister called the man was married and his wife went through his e-mails and found my sister' e-mails and it went from there my other sister called her and told her what was going on and she was really upset and started to leave and he grabbed her arm and tried to stop her she got away and well needless to say she learned her lesson and that her husband wasn't as bad as she thought! the moral of the story is this? let him come and see you and make it in a public place those e-mails can be from friends (girls) he set up to e-mail you. and he could of sent you someome elses pic' we are easy prey and it's easy to do when it's over the internet and not face to face. you can say all good things and send all good things about who they are and bla! bla! bla! wake up if he likes you let him make the first move in your home town and don't put you down as far as your weight if you don't feel confident about yourself you got all the time in the world to do something about it. walking is the most effective and swimming and those are fun! things to do and they are very mentally and phyiscally good for you oh and another thing please know this is true he knows everything about you so he can prey on your weaknesses and aslo to make you feel good he'll add a little sad things about him'self to make you feel better that is how they get you hooked. now i hope you have time to read mine:
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (22 July 2010):
 Well, first off, if he likes you, then, he likes you. Yes, boys do notice how a girl looks, but I suppose he has seen photos of you? If he has a lot of emotional problems, then he might not be as self-confident as you imagine......just a guess, mind.
You say you talk every day for a couple hours or so, and you are planning on calling each other for the first time on Saturday, after three months communicating on the internet. Let me ask you: HOW have you been communicating up til now if you're not speaking on the phone?? IM? Text?
Facebook? email? I'm not clear what you're saying here.
Besides, how come you're not likely to meet in person for another year? That's rather a long time, don't you think, to be chatting on the 'net without a face-to-face meeting.
I think you are really building a lot of dreams around this young man, and fantasising about him......it's not a good idea to build "castles in the air" over someone you haven't yet actually met.
What I'm saying is, he may be, and probably is, very nice, kind, and honest, seems to really like you (you cannot say you "love" one another, because that takes time, meeting and going out on dates and slowly getting to know each other, good points and bad, seeing what you're like (both of you) when you've had a rotten day, or you disagree over something. Once you begin to take these things into account, and can still say you like, respect and value each other and have something worthwhile continuing, THEN you can just begin to think about love.....which (real love) takes time and work.
Anyway. Two more points: if he is inspiring you to lose weight, clear up your complexion, and generally make the most of yourself, that's a good thing - so long as you realize you need to value yourself sufficiently that you can think of him as giving you a wakeup call, and would be working on yourself, FOR yourself, even if he wasn't in the picture;
second, pay no attention to the girl who is writing such horrible letters! She's probably just jealous......next time you get one, just tear it up and throw it away before you read it. By the way, WHO is putting all this "hype and expectation" on you? Is he doing so? Are you putting pressure on yourself, perhaps? Or is it his friends?
I can't emphasize enough the importance of being the best you can be because YOU want it for YOURSELF; not because someone else is demanding it!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, The wife listener  +, writes (22 July 2010):
Hey sweetie, I think you need to stop worrying so much and enjoy what you have. This guy obviously enjoys interacting with you and if a strong loving relationship develops then that will be great. If he's as into you as it sounds, he wont pressure you to go down to where he lives, he'll make the effort to come to you, and if he's friends are threatening and intimidating you. He'll sack them and protect you against this. Try not to be in a rush with this guy honey. If its meant to be, it will. In the meantime, work on your weight, i know its easier said than done. But you will get such a boost to your self esteem that most of your fears will be eliminated.
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (22 July 2010):
 I think your taking this to far... you have an internet crush.... you gotta let it go... before you get hurt... It seems youve fallen hard... let say this guy is really Rico suave and your Precious.... hes from brazil.... guys are visual creatures... Brazil is nice the women are what make it nice.. the tropical sun and splash of races are what make the women nice... my point is your a rather none tropical and larger then most men with alot of options would prefer...
"2) Kinda goes back on the first one, but I'm starting to think he's TOO good for me... like I'm really nothing to scream over... I come from the country"
"I mean quite honestly I'm fat (200Ibs), out of shape like major... have skin/acne problems... and a lot of emotional/trust problems"
Look your living in a fantasy... you gotta get over this guy... has he even seen you... I kinda dont even believe he is who he says he is...
I consider myself attractive tall sexy athletic tanned by a summer sun eight pack etc... not trying to be conceited.. ive dabbled around the internet over the years its fun change from the bar and club seens for meeting a chick... and ive had plenty of women that where not my type knock i let them kno before they fall for me long before.. i dont talk to them and friend them up for months or add them to facebook did that once by accident.... all im saying is this guy of yours seems suspicious..... if hes that hot with that many options why is he into you .... Hes got you hook line and sinker.... I suggest video conferencing with him.. so you can see if hes really who he says he is this way he can also see you have you even been upfront with him about your self... physical appearance and all...
Im not trying to be mean again... but you shouldnt get your hopes up over this guy this sounds all baddd..
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