A
female
age
26-29,
*intrablooms
writes:Why do they want to have sex so badly? I was skimming the online forums about this; like those pua forums with the creepy guys who do everything they possibly can to get sex. And...I was reading all the replies and different terms, and I want to know: WHY do guys want sex so much? Why not just be happy with bjs, why can even average and normal guys irl, be obsessed with intercourse? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2016): As a woman I enjoy sex with my husband. It feels great! I ache for it when I don't get it frequently and my body is super aware of any good looking men if I've gone without for a few days.
It's a basic biological need for me. A bit like being hungry. And hubby knows how to hit that spot.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2016): Men were designed to deliver the seed and women are designed to catch the seed.
There is nothing more natural.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 May 2016):
 Sorry, Chi! Don't know if you can google Saturday Night Live and then the "Pick up artists" skit. :(
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 April 2016):
 Gah, Honeypie, the videos is not available in my country! The "world wide web" of Internet should be called countrynet....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 April 2016):
I think if you read about sex on PUA forums you are reading the post of guy who are DESPERATE for sex because they think sex will validate them as "men". So it's a PRETTY skewered view you get. The whole notion of "Pick Up Artists" is so sleazy and fake if you ask me.
(had to google it and found it was Pick Up Artists just FYI for those who are not familiar with the acronym PUA)
But to answer your question, why do guys want sex so badly.. I think it's simple... IT feels good.
Also, there is a LOT of social stereo types, surge in hormones, peer pressure and outdated notions.
Having LOADS of casual sex doesn't make you a man. Doesn't make you a great lover either. It just makes you a guy who dips his wick a lot.
And I don't think men ON AVERAGE wants sex more than women, but they ARE conditioned to believe in quantity over quality. Where as women are taught the opposite, less is more for women. Men are "allowed" to not be able to "control" themselves - women are labelled if they "can't".
As for PUA... I feel sorry for those guys who think those tricks are how you find a quality partner.
Totally OT....
I love this skit from SNL on PUA (reversed roles)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gui6fOa01G4
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A
female
reader, mintrablooms +, writes (30 April 2016):
mintrablooms is verified as being by the original poster of the question@CindyCares that does make sense. Guys can be funny. There's no reason for them to brag when I could do those same sex acts with anyone I want...but I guess that's how some think lol
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 April 2016):
 But it does matter, OP ! If somebody likes to brag , or to fib a bit about something, it does not mean that he hates that something or could easily do without it... just that he loves that thing AND also fibs a bit about it.
How to explain you ..... like, I love shoes.
I could tell you that I own 50 pair of shoes, and that they are all from fancy expensive brands , like Prada or Jimmy Choo .
I would be telling you a lie, because I only own about 20 pairs, and none of them is from a supercostly brand , which I could not afford.
I still DO love shoes, though, and I still try to get as many as I can and the best that I can within my means .
It's not that just bragging about imaginary shoes would cancel my need and my passion for real shoes.
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A
female
reader, mintrablooms +, writes (30 April 2016):
mintrablooms is verified as being by the original poster of the question@sageoldguy So if they lie anyway why would they still need the sex to happen if it doesn't matter?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 April 2016):
 OP: MOST of the time we ARE lyin' about our sexual prowess.... but we do it, anyhow.....
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (30 April 2016):
lol, survival of the species... If survival of the species was the reason, then they'd be craving BABIES not sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2016): Err, survival of the species? :) It's genetically programmed into men to seek out intercourse.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (30 April 2016):
 Well its a few reasons
1. We like how it feels. It feels great and the release helps you sleep. Same with going solo btw.
2. We also like the intimacy. Guys arn't very intimate in general. Frankly your probably the only on he actually hugs. And I mean since he was very young. Guys don't like other guys touching them to be honest.
3. And its like "why wouldn't you do it?" It feels good and doesn't cost you anything.
But how sexual men are comes down to how comfortable they are.
I personally am a bit sex mad within a relationship, but outside of it have no interest in casual at all. Its just not for me.
I also do tend to spend a lot of time getting to know the girl before the sex starts. Way past the 3rd date.
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A
female
reader, mintrablooms +, writes (29 April 2016):
mintrablooms is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, it's the opposite. I was shocked guys like that existed. It's creepy but interesting to read their posts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2016): It feels good if you are doing it right.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 April 2016):
 Curious about PUA guys? Why? Are you looking into the dark side of human nature or something? Looking for a reason to dislike men?
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A
female
reader, mintrablooms +, writes (29 April 2016):
mintrablooms is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers everyone...I know those pua guys online aren't normal, but...I'm still curious. But the male answer is interesting.
@sageoldguy why wouldn't the guys just lie about having more sex or something? I thought guys did that anyway.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 April 2016):
While there are lots of good points amongst the replies you already have..... none of them points out THIS important "guy thing".....
We crave to have sex so that we can brag in the locker room that we are "getting it" regularly......
At least, that's why I do it (crave sex)....
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 April 2016):
Oh, one more piece of advice, reading the PUA forums will only expose you to bizarre troll type caricatures of real men. A steady diet of those will definitely turn your stomach and possibly distort your perception so that you miss out on the REAL men, the ones who are honest, kind, with integrity and respect for woman.
If you don’t want to have intercourse, don’t have it. Don’t waste time on the internet reading about people who are obsessed with it. It might lead you to becoming obsessed with the whole question. :)
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (29 April 2016):
Because they have been raised to want it. In reality, guys want intercourse and sex just as much as women do. Not more, not less. But women are taught to not want it, and men are taught to seek it at all costs because supposedly sex makes you "become a man". Whereas cleaning the house makes you a woman....
I know, it's messed up, isn't it?
Btw, even if just 1 in 10 guys nag about sex, they take up so much space and repeat themselves so much they make it appear as all men want sex. The ones who're not screaming for sex from the top of their lungs stay quiet, and you wont find them in forums etc. So don't make the wrong assumption that just because some guys scream for sex in a forum, it means that ALL men scream for sex.
As for the blowjob bit, I don't get it. I haven't met a single man yet who wasn't amazed if he could get a blow job. Blow jobs feel great. But maybe you live in a place where it's just become popular to talk about intercourse rather than anything else.
Anyway, to answer your question directly:
Your question is incorrect.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2016): I've heard guys say before bjs can be even better than sex...IDK why.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (29 April 2016):
But are they ( obsessed ) ? I tell it to you just like I have read it. There was a reaserch carried on by the University of Austin ( Texas ) over a sample of about 2500 people, males and females. They have been asked to list all the reasons why they want / wanted in the past to have intercourse.
It came out a total of 237 very different reasons , from " I wanted to have a child " to " I got paid for it " ( with a rather creepy " I wanted to spread an std " , too ).
Well, it turns out that 8 of the 10 main ( more frequently reported ) reasons are the same for males and females, and interestingly enough that the top 3 are exactly the same for men and women and in the same order . More or less thay said :
1 ) I was attracted to that particular person
2 ) I was horny and needed a release
3 ) I wanted to show them I loved them ( well. I am glad that feelings get at least a bronze medal ).
There's the cliche' that men use romance to get sex, and women use sex to get romance ( emotional intimacy ) ... apparently it's not that true,
because while " It was a way to feel emotional intimacy " is in 12th position for the women, and 14th for the men. A very small difference.
This research would seem to belie that other saying that
" women need a reason to have sex , men only need a place " because apparently .... women just need a place too. ( At least in the age range considered, which I think- not sure - that only included young / youngish people ).
I don't know about " obsessed " but it seems that the why women want intercourse , when they want it, is the same as why men want it . So it's not just a boy thing.
It could be ( this is not in the research, it's something I think ) that girls have the same motivations for wanting sex as guys, they just ACT on them a little less, they exercise a bit more self control ( whether for fear of a pregnancy, or to not get a bad reputation or whatnot ).
And it must be ( pretty sure of that even without scientific studies ) that males are encouraged, in fact brainwashed, since early teens to assert their manliness through intercourse. Like , who fucks a lot is a real man, who does not is a wuss or a sissy.
While, au contraire, for a woman having lots of sex is not considered a way to express and assert her femininity , it's not that the more she gets laid the more she is womanly, in fact it may be the opposite , an intense sexual life may be seen like a masculine, Amazon-like trait of her personality, and as such to be possibly curbed.
Finally, I'll give you my simple, layman guess : they want intercourse because it feels so good. Oral sex too, but intercourse even better, so why limit themselves. In this light it's a bit like asking why people can't content themselves with appetizers, which are so yummy and delicious, rather than also ordering a main course.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 April 2016):
Well, I expect because it just feels really good to them. It doesn’t take a great deal of imagination to understand that, does it?
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