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Wearing jewelry from an ex whilst out on a date with a new partner... thoughts?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 April 2016) 13 Answers - (Newest, 1 May 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I want to know what everybody's thoughts are on wearing jewellery from an ex partner whilst out on a date with a new partner.

Thank you!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2016):

Nice question. Depends on how YOU see it. It should be for you alone to know that it was given it y ur ex. You could feel cheeky and humorous abouthow you moved on to the point where u r wearing this jjewelery while moving on with someone.

But if you do attach great meaning to it or it affects you then I think you ciuld get rid of it.

I wear a jewel given by my ex very often. Im single and feel proud that I've got over him wen I wear It. I feel rebellious. its like going with a new partner to a place you visited with ur ex.

however it's very essential that you zip up and not mention it to your current partner simply because he may feel bad or think that you're doing it on purpose. he has no right to judge but hey why bring ex factors in your conversations unnecessarily? My ex had this annoying way of pissing me off by sharing all that he did with each of his exes in the various places we went under the pretext of being honest abt the past though i did not ask abt it. Eventually I realised he's doing it on purpose. So ensure that you keep mum abt it as ur partner may wonder if it was preplanned/staged.

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A female reader, goldie22 United Kingdom +, writes (30 April 2016):

It wouldn't worry me as long as it wasn't a wedding ring!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (30 April 2016):

chigirl agony auntIt's fine. Just don't start talking about your ex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2016):

I wear sleepers in my ear and never take them out one broke once and an ex bought me new ones. Never even thought about it until now,but something an ex got me is always in my ears. I get why a new man might not like it but if the jewlery serves it's purpose and you like it Who needs to know? Its not like the spirit of your ex resonates in stuff right?!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (30 April 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt You know that it had not even ever crossed my mind that there could be anything wrong in wearing jewelry gifted by another man ?!

I got a gold chain that my ex gave me the day our son was born; I have always ,always worn it since then ( it's thick but very simple and essential so it looks good even with jeans and Fruit of loom tee-shirt ).Through two subsequent serious LTRs, and a couple of flings too. It's a jewel, I love it, it's mine, and I wear it, that's all, I don't think of the person that gave it to me,or of the occasion or the meaning or anything.

I am a bit baffled that some people think this is a no-no , or that it could hurt the feelings of the new partner (...unless he is some bad RJ case ). So, if an ex gives you a sweater or a coat, you just stop wearing even if it still perfectly wearable . If he gave you nail polish, or perfume, you throw away the half full bottle ?

If he has bought your sofa and armchairs, or your kitchen , or your double bed, and then let you keep them... you have to redecorate and buy everything new ?....

It sounds quite expensive ! If this is the correct procedure, there are women that could never afford to change partner !

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A male reader, Myau New Zealand +, writes (30 April 2016):

Myau agony auntIts rude. Don't do it.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (30 April 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntNo huge deal but if I was wanting to avoid potential upset down the road I would choose something else. It is only a piece of decorative metal after all.

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A female reader, Caring Aunty A Australia +, writes (30 April 2016):

Caring Aunty A agony auntThe ONLY piece of jewelry you need to concern yourself with is a Wedding ring being worn!

Even so; when I asked my ex-husband (long ago) why he still wore his wedding ring, (on the other hand)? He said, he liked the unique design; which I created. Plus the fact he had paid for it at the time. I guess he had a thing for getting his money’s worth?

CAA

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A female reader, EFM94 United Kingdom +, writes (29 April 2016):

EFM94 agony auntI don't see the issue here unless it's an old engagement ring or promise ring like the other readers have said.

I've still got old charms on my pandora bracelets from my ex but I've kept them because they are pretty and I like them... not because I still like him :)

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A female reader, like I see it United States +, writes (29 April 2016):

like I see it agony auntI agree with Honeypie - no old engagement rings, and personally I'd say no promise rings either. Those particular pieces of jewelry hold meaning above and beyond ornamentation and they might imply to your new date that you are not emotionally "over" whoever gave them to you.

Other than that, I don't see the issue. Would you ever ask a date whether he bought the (shirt, tie, jeans, shoes, etc) that he's wearing, or whether an ex bought the item for him? I'm guessing not. Is there a particular reason this piece of jewelry feels inappropriate to wear?

I too have kept jewelry from an ex - I wore a pair of dreamcatcher dangle earrings given to me by a former boyfriend for years after our relationship ended. Not because they reminded me of him in any special way, but because they were light, cute and on trend at the time. None of my later partners who saw me in them ever questioned me about where they came from. The only reason I don't wear them today is that they were in my purse when it was stolen a few years ago. (I scoured the internet for a replacement pair, without success - that's how much I liked the way they looked on me.)

Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes!

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (29 April 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntThey are not going to know where you got it from, and even if they do there should not be a problem, it was a gift to you in the past, does not mean you look at it and miss your ex. It could be that it is just a nice piece of jewelry.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (29 April 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI don't see the problem UNLESS it's an "old" engagement ring.

I don't see a reason to explain where you got it from, but if he asks, why not be honest?

Do you think a new guy would cross examine you on your jewelry? I mean it IS just jewelry.

I have a bracelet from my first BF, I love it, but rarely wear it. My husband have no idea where I got it, he has never asked and I have never divulged. I don't put it on, and "think" about the ex. I put it on because I feel like it looks good with what I'm wearing. For me it's a piece of jewelry, not a ticket to a trip down memory lane.

If you don't feel comfortable wearing it, then why keep it?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2016):

It’s okay as long as it’s not recognizable that it’s from an ex-partner. I once dated a man who wore a watch from an ex. How did I know? Because there was a photo of it with her tagged saying “thank you for the gift” on social media. That made me uncomfortable. But if there wasn’t then I would never know, and that’s okay.

The man I'm currently dating wears a nice watch and has a nice wallet. They could be gifts from an ex or maybe he bought them himself. Who knows and who cares. So… Just don’t make it known.

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