A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Do dominant guys like to be manhandled in bed too? When I usually hear people talk about rough sex they usually only talk about what the guy does to the woman. Are there any guys who aren't submissive who liked to be choked, slapped, or even bruised etc. too?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2016): There are billions of men on this planet, so no doubt there will be some who will fulfill your requirements for a man who is both dominant and submissive. Is that what you're looking for? Or are you just watching too much porn?
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (2 May 2016):
 I'm assuming by "dominant", you mean that they're just generally dominant men. Or maybe you even mean "manly". I'm guessing that you're not asking about self-professed, sexually dominant men. Because if they say that they're sexually dominant, I'd take them at their word and guess that they aren't really into switching roles.
If we're just talking about the Everyman, there are plenty of men who enjoy domination in the bedroom. Not all of them. But plenty. All that matters is that you communicate well, because NOBODY wants to be surprised with a slap in the face.
Make sure any partner you have - especially if things are going to get rough - you THOROUGHLY trust, know that he respects you and will listen to you if you're feeling uncomfortable. And it should go without saying that you extend the same respects to him.
It can be a lot of fun to get wild in the bedroom, but - and I can't stress this enough - only with the right partner. Talk it out, and make sure that you both are on the same page!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 May 2016):
 There are people who aren't submissive outside of the bedroom and not always IN the bedroom either.
It's not a given that EVERYONE likes to be choked, slapped etc. Like Chigirl said, it's a fetish. It's not about the pain as much as the giving up control.
Now if you have your notions from porn, it DOES seem like women are usually the submissive, because... the average porn is made BY men, FOR men. I think, many men (in general) finds being subs as emasculating.
As for wanting to be choked and slapped... I think that is something that can ONLY work if BOTH parties KNOW what they are doing, but WANT to do it and have a lot of trust and self-control. I don't think it is something that a "beginner" should be looking to do. 50 Shades of Shit is NOT BDSM - it's abusive story telling. If that is where you get your notions from.
Personally, I'm NOT a submissive person, but I would NEVER choke someone during sex, it's just not something I'd get off on. I don't think the majority does. And I'd probably punch someone if they tried to slap me.
Having boundaries in life is vital, in the bedroom, likewise.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 May 2016):
 Non-submissive people generally do not like to be treated as subs. And people who aren't into bondage or dom/sub generally aren't interested in being slapped around in bed or chocked. "Rough sex" as you call it is BDSM. Its a fetish. Not something "everyone" does or like.
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