I'm having to chose between the gym to keep my body or my girlfriend!
Q. Here' s the thing. My girlfriend has been complaining of lately that I don't spend enough time with her. I can totally understand her argument because I simply have too much going on to devote a large majority of my time to her. I work full time, ...
A. 20 July 2012: What do you want, a girlfriend who wants to spend time with you in a relationship or random strangers complimenting you? You admit you are obsessive!
Its you choice, frankly it sounds to me that there isn't any room in your life, nor a lot of l... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriends sister affecting our relationship? What do I say?
Q. Okay, I'm sorry if this is long.. but I'm really confused. Basically, my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. I am totally and completely in love with him, I can't stay mad at him for longer that a minute, but lately.. something has been ...
A. 19 July 2012: Regardless of the bedroom activities when you are at their flat you are in her space. Because he is so young I would expect she furnished it and stocked it, probably chose the dishes, bought the fridge etc etc. You are in her home, and, after a ... (read in full...)
Is it truly possible for two people to stay faithful to one another for many years?
Q. Is it truly possible for two people to stay faithful to one another for many years? I'm starting to lose hope! It seems like loads of people are finding their partners cheating on them on line, sexting, etc :( Can anyone be satisfied just by ...
A. 19 July 2012: Yes, it is possible, and they are the people we dont hear from here, they are just going about their daily lives, living and loving each other with no reason to mention their faithfullness or fidelity, which means the only ones we hear from at the ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my pregnant friend, can someone help me, please?
Q. dear aunts and uncles, im 15 and really scared for my friend who is the same age. a while ago she started acting really weird like she didnt want to see any of her friends and she dumped her boyfriend who she has been with for 2 years for no reason. ...
A. 19 July 2012: This problem is too big for you to handle on yor own, if she wont tell her mum then you tell yours!
Your mum will then be able to talk to her about a few different things, and if the baby is the boyfriends or somebody else's, your mother will the... (read in full...)
Moving away- am I helping or hurting him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years as of yesterday. When we met, we were both employed and I was FT in college, he was PT. 5 months after we started dating, I moved across the city and out of the dorms to live with him. We've now ...
A. 19 July 2012: You ARE doing the right thing by moving, if he wishes to 'catch up" he will work at whatever is necessary to get him there.
Don't lend him the money, as you say, his track record is not good.
good luck with your future, you sould like you h... (read in full...)
At the end of my Rope and Running out of Hope
Q. Not real good at this but I will try . I am 46 and just got a divorce after 30 yrs of Marriage . my ex left me in 2008 and I have been seeing this man who is 50 and retired . I work 5 days a week and then I come home and that is it. he stays with me ...
A. 19 July 2012: Honestly, wrap a ribbon with a big fat bow around the computer and hand it to him as you show him the door.
What has your love for him brought you? A moocher who contributes nothing to the running of where he lives nor to the relation... (read in full...)
I left my husband and now my boyfriend is not interested in me anymore.
Q. I left my husband because I fell in love with another man. I no longer loved my husband. The other man led me to believe he loved me, too and would be there for me when I left my husband. It turns out that he is not. Now I am all alone without ei...
A. 18 July 2012: Find your nearest Salvation Army and ask them for help. Find a neighbourhood lawyer, or legal advice bureau and ask for help making sure you receive support for your child from her father.
It is so hard not to judge you .... you have made som... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to want to have a wedding but not get married legally?
Q. I'm talking to my ex again and things are heading in the right direction. However, I recently inherited a lot of money so my life is going to be very different. I'm planning to travel a lot and I'm not planning to have a "real" job. I just want to ...
A. 17 July 2012: in many countries not getting married is no guarantee that your assets and finances would be safe if you break up. Seek competent legal advice, you might be better off getting married with a pre nup.
Try to find a reputable financial advisor,... (read in full...)
My husband ogles other women, flirts with other women in front of me, and is mean about my body since I had our baby.
Q. I had our baby 5 months ago. During my pregnancy, I was on serious bed rest, and meds, for 3 months, then after, I had to recover from Caesarean for another few months. I was approx 110lbs when I got pregnant, and gained quite a bit of weight due ...
A. 17 July 2012: Print off your letter here and take it, and him, to your doctor. Give your letter to your doctor and let him deal with your insensitive prick of a husband. ... (read in full...)
I want him to leave!
Q. i'm a 50 year old lady and i'm married, but i'm not in love with my husband. we have both told each other that we love one another, but we'll not in love with each other. we separate for four months' because he stole from me his attitude was bad he ...
A. 16 July 2012: Sad to say if he wont leave the house then you will have to be the one to go. Before you make a move seek legal advise and then put a leaving plan in place. Make sure none of your money is in joint accounts, remove your smaller valuables, important ... (read in full...)
My wife has a crush on a man she met online. She denies it, I know its true
Q. wife has a crush? My wife of 2 years has recently been speaking to a guy daily since they met online about a week ago. They meet online every night speaking by mic, he compliments her very often and flirts as does she, they spend hours talking ...
A. 16 July 2012: I don't usually advocate ulimatums but I think in this case you need to quite firmly put your case to her.
Tell her the online relationship is interferring with your marriage, remind her that her behaviour now is the same as when she was with you... (read in full...)
Was he cheating on me, or was it just a lapse in judgement?
Q. Please, any advice is so appreciated! My boyfriend and I (22 and 21) have been seeing each other for a little over a year. I am his first serious relationship. He is my second. I am a go-getter. I am very motivated in both school and work. I am a...
A. 16 July 2012: How about, rather than trying to organise him into doing what you believe is best for him, you let him find his own path to determine what is best for him.
Remember, girls usually mature quicker than boys, he could still be finding his feet, fr... (read in full...)
I'm caught in the middle between my parents and don't know what to do
Q. Hi I am 26 years old my parents split up 3 year ago they both live in the same area I feel totally stuck in the middle all the time if I go see my mum my dad goes in a mood with me and vice versa I am completely exhausted I am a single parent I have ...
A. 15 July 2012: Tell them quite firmly you are not prepared to expose your child to their childish behaviour any longer. If they are going to continue with their childish manipulations you will cease visiting and they can visit you instead.
Stick to your gun... (read in full...)
I thought my trainer was my friend but he has upped his prices!
Q. Over the past year I have become good friends with my personal trainer. But recently he told me he had to raise his rates and asked me for more money. Of course I was surprised he would do this to me and I am hurt by it. I thought he conside...
A. 15 July 2012: He runs a business, and you are his client. Sometimes it is necessary for businesses to put their prices up to cover their ever increasing costs. Sometimes businesses have a 'special price' for family, friends and good customers, in Australia this ... (read in full...)
Just as we were about to start IVF we found out I was pregnant!
Q. My boyfriend and I have just found out we are having a baby, which is amazing and a miracle, as we were on our journey of ivf, but found out the day before treatment started that I was pregnant.My boyfriend has been different towards me since we ...
A. 15 July 2012: I am sure you and your boyfriend were advised of the time that can be involved in the IVF process, he would have prepared himself for a wait, some disappointments and possibly even failure. That would have been where his head was .... he knew the ... (read in full...)
I can't deal with negativity but she doesn't want to change!
Q. I met someone 2/12 years ago; she deals with negativity, maybe bi-polar but will not see a doctor. May also suffer from menopause. Always seems to just focus on looking at things from negative perspective which is frustrating, rarely has anything ...
A. 15 July 2012: You say you are currently estranged. Are you trying to find ways to get back together with her, or ways to 'fix' things?
I think you should let sleeping dogs lie and move on out of her sphere of influence, just accept there is no happines... (read in full...)
I told my fiance I wanted to break up so she took our daughter away and now I'm really depressed!
Q. hi there i am at a loss... my fiance well ex fiance now, i live with her and have a beautifull 15mnth daughter. i have not been happy in the relationship for about 6-7 months now and have been with her for 5 years, i have said that i think we shoul...
A. 15 July 2012: Had you thought about the consequences when you told your live in fiance you wanted to break up. Did you think about how you words about being miserable and you boss commenting could be construed as your work performance being her fault? DEid you ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to wait 6 years to have children but I'm all ready at 27
Q. So my husband and i had a huge argument about having children. He's 23 and I'm 27. We had spoken about it before we got married and i had stated quite clearly that (at 26) I didn't want to wait more than four years as i think having children late ...
A. 13 July 2012: So you discussed children and the time table before you go married, at that time he said it was fine, now he has changed his mind?
Changing the goal posts like that is unfair, was he aware he wanted to study overseas when the children conversa... (read in full...)
I cant get my ex out of my life, what should I do?
Q. hello i split with my boyfriend due to him controlling me and i was no longer happy. i dont live with him and was only together six months. i live with parents and sister. he keeps saying that i ended it cause i wont grow up and leave home and ...
A. 11 July 2012: Go to the library and pay whatever the book cost. And dont let anybody else use your card again!
Block his number, he is trying to get you back again using sneaky methods, he thinks if he can get you to beleive the things he is saying you will... (read in full...)
I've moved to be with my boyfriend and now I'm depressed thinking I've made a big mistake...help!
Q. Please help! Feel like i'm losing it all :( I will try and make this short. Been together with my boyfriend 11 years we have had our ups and downs. We are compatible for the most part and sex is not an issue. But I have put up with a lot and have...
A. 11 July 2012: You are looking for words of encouragement ... but to do what, encourage you to stay, or encourage you to leave?
It seems to me you have already given up almost everything to be with him, a business and all your friends, because he begged you to. ... (read in full...)
Should I move in with my b/f to ease family's fiancial burden?
Q. Hello all, I'm having a bit of a dispute here within myself and my family. My parents are very loving and caring people and I know they would do anything for me, but my mom is sick and the company my dad works for is slowly on the decline. My older ...
A. 11 July 2012: I agree with your sister, don't move out, especially don't move out for the reasons you have cited, as I believe this will only add to your family's stress level, your parents don't need the added burden of believing they are incapable of taking ... (read in full...)
Is he Sweet or Creepy? One date and he objects to the online dating profile still online?
Q. I had one great date with a guy I met on an online dating site. He texts me everyday / a few times a day and asked me for a second date. We've been in contact now about a week and a half. However - one thing is troubling me! He saw me "online" ...
A. 10 July 2012: You have been in contact for a week and a half and had one date and he is monitoring your internet usage? If his behaviour is niggling at you and you feel a little uncomfortable, listen to your intuition and let him know you don't think it is going ... (read in full...)
Why do my husband's "friends" always ignore me?
Q. Can someone please explain to me if I'm over reacting here. I have been cool with my husbands female friends and just recently I've had enough. When he talks about them he said they were cool, two of them she said they were "one of the guys cool". ...
A. 10 July 2012: The phone for your husband but if you answer they hang up? And they haven't met you yet? You and he have been together long enough to have three kids?
That's just downright rude, and they don't sound very mature to me.
Try talking to him a... (read in full...)
Despite making myself very clear he insists on pursuing me
Q. Hi everyone, I am in a bit of a difficult situation so if anyone has any advice or comments, it would be greatly appreciated! Just last year I moved back to my home town to attend college, and I got in touch with an old childhood friend. He and I...
A. 9 July 2012: Tell him one last time, I want to be your friend but I am not interested in anything more. If this upsets you or your family I need to know now so that I can cut the contact and save the hurt.
Don't let him or his family guilt you into somethin... (read in full...)
My friend is engaged to a woman he's only dated for 6 months.
Q. I was really shocked the other day when one of my really good friends who I've known since childhood broke the news to me that he's currently engaged to his girlfriend. He only started dating his girlfriend 6 months ago and on top of that this is ...
A. 9 July 2012: She may have been shy meeting all his friends at once, but she is his choice, and you need to accept that. The whys and wherefores are really not your concern. Give him your best wishes for his future, and when you meet her next do your best to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hasn't contacted me in three days
Q. Dear Cupid My bf usually never calls. i am the one who always initiates the call. lately he is often hanging up the call saying he is busy when i call him. I got pissed off and told him i wont call him anymore unless he calls me, Its been ...
A. 9 July 2012: You should continue to put one foot in front of the other, accept your boyfriend doesn't really care about your feelings, decide if you are willing to spend more time waiting for him to become the person you deserve or if you should simply leave the ... (read in full...)
How could he leave and not say goodbye?
Q. I am so hurt and brokenhearted! A very special friend of mines moved out of state, I knew he was moving, but he told me he would take me to dinner before he left! Ok, he ended up leaving a day early. We didnt get a chance to go to dinner, I can ...
A. 8 July 2012: I've moved house a number of times, and as the actual move gets closer the minutes go faster. I have now got into the habit of saying my goodbyes at least a week in advance, the timetable for the final preparations is always tight, give your friend ... (read in full...)
He pulled me up from rock bottom and I miss him being around!
Q. I am 15 and i went out with this guy for a couple of months he seemed really sweet and always was there for me giving me hugs and trying to to make me smile. I was going through a rough time i was having family problems at this point and had po...
A. 8 July 2012: His mother may have been concerned his being there for you at all hours of the night meant he was missing out on much needed sleep which would have been affecting his schoolwork.
Also, the events happening in your life, with family problems... (read in full...)
I need to know how to say NO so that he finally understands!
Q. My best friend of 7 years has recently told me he likes me and wants to go out with me however I don't see him as anything more than a friend and have told him this several times but he isn't taking it. recently he said to me that he wants to speak ...
A. 8 July 2012: If he brings it up again, in your own words tell him he cannot bully you into being his girlfriend, that you have already told him you don't want anything more than friendship with him and if he persists you will ask your parents to intervene.
... (read in full...)
He wants to move in after 3.5 months of dating!
Q. I would like some advice on my situation. Thanks your first for reading this. I am a 35 years old lady and divorced once. Now I am really looking for the right guy and have a happy relationship and family. I met a nice guy 2 and half months befo...
A. 8 July 2012: You met him 10 weeks ago, I think that is much too soon to be considering moving in together, way too soon. Your relationship with him is still in the first flush, and you are both still on your best behaviour. There has been no time for the little ... (read in full...)
He has one set of money rules for me and a different set for him!
Q. My fiancé and I been arguing a lot about money lately. He don't want me to help my family in any way, just want me to save for our wedding. What pisses me's dat he bought himself a car 3 months back and cannot save for a wedding as he's paying ...
A. 8 July 2012: To answer your two questions:
yes and yes.
Continue to help your family if they need it and you can, they will always be there for you. However you need to discuss a savings plan with your boyfriend, work out how much you can put away for the wedd... (read in full...)
Should I express my concerns? Or just go along with her excitement? She has already accepted a job in Porn industry
Q. My girlfriend, 20 years lost her job last year and hasnt been able to find consistent work since. She came up to me a few weeks ago after talking to one of her friends about joining the porn industry. She is very interested and actually determin...
A. 8 July 2012: Yuck and ewwww, how many men (and/or women etc etc) is she going to have plough through her before she comes home to you at the end of the day five days a week.
You say she was tested for STDs before the audition, maybe she should have been tes... (read in full...)
I don't understand my parents. Why are they objecting to my LDR BF, and his family, so firmly?
Q. Hello! I am stuck in a very difficult situation at the moment. I have been in an amazing relationship for the past year. I feel so happy and complete, where I genuinely feel I found my other half even if it does sound a bit cliché. He is an i...
A. 8 July 2012: Where is your boyfriend, if you are at different corners of the world it would make it difficult for you to sneak out and meet him. And class? What is your cultural background, and how do you parents know about the bf's father's illegal activities? ... (read in full...)
I invited him back into my life but now I want him out. How will I break the news to him?
Q. Dear Cupid, So I made the mistake of taking this guy back . Even though he was a real creep while we were dating. His friends were always more important than me, he never arranged to spend time with me, took hits on my self esteem, very rarely let ...
A. 8 July 2012: I also agree with sending one last text, but I wouldn't be wishing him all the best. I also agree with the anonymous male, he has already slimed his way back once, and could probably do it again so don't go it alone, muster some help in keeping ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend so distant?
Q. hi everyone im in a ldr situation. and ny boyfriend is cold to me like hes always grumpy at me. and bot mood to talk, i dont know whats going on to him, whats bothering him. theres one time i ask him if he is ok? and he said hes fine! but hes bery ...
A. 8 July 2012: A boyfriend who is always grumpy and cold to you is not going to make a happy relationship. You need to ask him the same questions you are asking us, tell him you find his actions confusing and ask him what he expects from a relationship if he wont ... (read in full...)
Any ideas on working from home?
Q. Hi I have been looking for a legit work for home site that doesn't cost anything to start up do you or anybody else have any ideas I have tried everything from Avon to trying to make my own things and selling them and nothing is working I have so ...
A. 7 July 2012: Its very hard to make money without first outlaying some, however, something that goes well here in Australia is to take in other people's ironing, although a pick up and deliver service does seem to work best you could ask your customers to drop it ... (read in full...)
He says he isn't cheating, and I want to believe him, but I don't. What do you think?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years, we have always been happy until recently... i discovered a text on his phone from a girl saying "hey are you missing me, it was good with drinks the other night, u wanna meet wednesday, wat you doin...
A. 6 July 2012: He lied. If he honestly didn't know whose number it was he would have rang it instead of deleting the message and the number.
Stop kidding yourself, you need to get real, and decide if you are going to forgive this episode, if you can live wit... (read in full...)
How can I finish this relationship with my employer? I want to, but don't know how to get the courage
Q. i got a job as a househelp i wanted to accumulate cash so i could continue with my studies,but things didnt turn the way i expected my boss started approaching me,because his wife has mental problems. Within a month i gave in it has been five mon...
A. 6 July 2012: You need to find another job as far away from him as possible, and as quickly as possible.
If you cannot find a job quickly then leave and go home until you can find another one, this house and job is not a good place to be, it will be better f... (read in full...)
I give, he takes. My business is in debt, he refuses to get a job. Does he love me? Should I tell him to move on?
Q. Hi My financee works for a company I set up 3 years ago. The business is going poorly.I started with my own money, and it is in my name, as he has no money of his own. It has a overdraft of a few thousands of dollars now and no income coming in....
A. 6 July 2012: You ask if a Fiancée is supposed to be that supportive, why not ask if a Fiancé is supposed to be financially supported even if the person supporting faces huge debts for doing so, to not work, to sulk behind closed doors rather than face an adult ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being selfish?
Q. This may at first sound like I'm seeking money advice, but bear with me! I need to explain everything in case you get the wrong idea! Boyfriend and I will be soon moving in together. The flat is actually owned by our flat mate who will be sharing ...
A. 5 July 2012: Paying rent one month in advance is not an unusual requirment, if you can't afford to move in this month you may have to wait another month, the extra month should also give you time to organise your budget to ensure you always have your proportion ... (read in full...)
I got a friend to test him and now he has shut me out!
Q. i feel really bad, my on off partner of 18 years and i were in the process of what i thought trying to work things out. he has always been there for me until i messed up, i played a silly trick on him and now its kind of back fired and he refuses to ...
A. 4 July 2012: I'm happy to hear you And your husband are both willing to seek help together. Your marriage has already survived so much, there is no reason why it cannot survive this latest hurdle. Best of luck to you both.... (read in full...)
I got a friend to test him and now he has shut me out!
Q. i feel really bad, my on off partner of 18 years and i were in the process of what i thought trying to work things out. he has always been there for me until i messed up, i played a silly trick on him and now its kind of back fired and he refuses to ...
A. 30 June 2012: You need to do some serious grovelling. This silly trick as you call it was so totally unfunny, imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and some guy rang you up, I am sure if at first you weren't interested and he persisted you might soon feel a ... (read in full...)
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