I wonder how someone who says they love you, can be so cruel with their words and comments
Q. I am 52and my common-law wife is 46. We had an amazing relationship for the first 15 years of out 17 together, with only 3 or 4 arguments. We had always put each other first, and love and respect were two aspects of a relationship we cherished. ...
A. 29 September 2012: How common is the term "common law wife" and did you refer to her as that when she was wearing your engagement ring?
What happened here? For 15 years she showed no sign of the terrible temper her mother told you she had, the temper her sister s... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his child are a pair of spoilt brats!
Q. Okay, so i have been with my bf for two years now, he has a 4 yr old of his own and i have a 6 and 8 yr old. My bf takes his son every weekend and whenever his son is here i dread it, i know i sound horrible but i treat all children the same so if ...
A. 29 September 2012: Hi again, I realise you posted your update 2 days ago, but just want to say I still believe you did the right thing, what a disgusting thing he said to your son, trying to make him feel bad about you and him fighting.
Stick to your guns, this man... (read in full...)
My longterm boyfriend wants to sleep with someone else but doesn't want to cheat. Is a threesome the answer?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years, and we have both only been with each other during our relationship. He has suggested him sleeping with another woman, but not wanting to cheat on me, suggesting a three-some. His ex-wife ...
A. 29 September 2012: If all suggestions are wwelcome here's mine: kick his sorry two timing arse to the kerb! He wants to have sex with another girl but doesn't want to cheat ... oh puleeze, he just wants to have his cake and eat it too, and it seems he has just about ... (read in full...)
Best friend's new boyfriend...
Q. I am 40, and have a best friend 32, who has just got a new boyfriend who is 20. This is quite a long story so bear with me. The relationship between me and my best friend is purely platonic, but a slight complication is that he has limited money so ...
A. 28 September 2012: If you are paying for your best friend's holidays and other treats I can understand his new boyfriend's concerns .... as I am sure you could too, if you took a moment to look at the situation from where he is standing.
You friend needs to decide i... (read in full...)
Do you think something is up with this unusual lodger?
Q. i need some help and its not the usual stuff. i had to take on a lodger, i got contacted and put someone up and he moved in on the monday for 3 wks, the 1st day (mon) he gave me the rent, he went home on the fri came back on the sun and then didnt ...
A. 27 September 2012: He sounds a little odd, tell him the room is no longer available. If you need to take in a lodger for financial reasons look online and see if there are any templates you can use for a rental agreement. I would also be asking for two references, ... (read in full...)
Should I get mad at my husband if he doesn't loan my parents money?
Q. My husband and i have a savings account but he puts in the money but its for our future home, my parents need to barrow money and will give it back in 3 months and i know we have the amount they are looking for, my dad asked my husband and my ...
A. 26 September 2012: Lending money between family members more often leads to trouble than not. If your parents are certain they will be able to repay the money then they must have some sort of documentation they could use to apply to a lending institution.
I hav... (read in full...)
Why is he ignoring my requests to return my things?
Q. Hi there. I had been dating a man for just over a year. We had spoken of getting married ETC. He suffers from depression therefore it was not uncommon for him to be distant sometimes. A few months ago he told me that he would like to leave things ...
A. 26 September 2012: Call him and tell him you will be there on such and such a day, at such and such a time and you would appreciate it if he would allow you to collect your things.
He may say no. Think very carefully about the things you want returned, are they... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his child are a pair of spoilt brats!
Q. Okay, so i have been with my bf for two years now, he has a 4 yr old of his own and i have a 6 and 8 yr old. My bf takes his son every weekend and whenever his son is here i dread it, i know i sound horrible but i treat all children the same so if ...
A. 25 September 2012: Re read all the answers, you are not a cruel cow, you did the right thing, he didn't. Don't let him back until he grows up, its not fair on your kids.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his child are a pair of spoilt brats!
Q. Okay, so i have been with my bf for two years now, he has a 4 yr old of his own and i have a 6 and 8 yr old. My bf takes his son every weekend and whenever his son is here i dread it, i know i sound horrible but i treat all children the same so if ...
A. 24 September 2012: As I was reading your question all that was running through my head was OMG why is she putting up with this person, and then I got to the big where big brat took his little brat and stormed out. What a relief, but quick! Change the locks before he ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my boss' wife
Q. i am a male, gemini, married but not happy after 5 years and i am in love with my boss wife who have problems with him ever so often and i think she has a crush on me and now he kind of suspects us any help ...
A. 24 September 2012: Leave the boss's wife alone and concentrate of fixing your own marriage before you start messing about with other people's.
Sniffing around after the boss's wife is never a good idea, especially if you want to keep working.... (read in full...)
Should we let our friend make the same mistake or bring our concerns to her attention?
Q. My sister in law and best friend was previously married to her high school sweetheart, but she had given him an ultimatum before he proposed and he asked for a divorce eighteen months later. No one liked him, friends or family, the unanimous ...
A. 24 September 2012: How is any of this your business? what makes you think you know her and her emotions better than she does?
The tone of your question is quite nasty, I suggest you sort out your self before you try to sort out any body else.... (read in full...)
I'm terribly upset about the way my sister-in-law treated me 2 years ago and the fact that my husband did not stand up for me.
Q. 2 years ago my husband's mother died. At the funeral my husband's sister mostly ignored me, made me feel uncomfortable or made fun of me. I have had no dealings with her since. My husband did nothing to stop this going on. Since then a wedge has ...
A. 24 September 2012: Oh come on now. It was at a funeral, give the poor man some leeway for not making his mother's funeral all about your comfort!
If you are unable to move on even after counselling your only option is to either continue harping about it, in which... (read in full...)
I'm straight and my best friend is in love with me, how can I help him get over it?
Q. The situation I’m in, is pretty bizarre. I’m guy and my best friend is in love with me. I’m 27 and he’s 28, we know each other for almost 10 years, we're like brothers. I never knew he was gay. I’m not trying to judge gay people, I don’t know much ...
A. 23 September 2012: You say this: "I feel like it’s all my fault, I feel like I’m breaking his heart".
None of this is your fault, I am surprised a 28 year old would be so immature to profess his love for you like this. As for his saying he will love you all his ... (read in full...)
Fiance's world revolves around his 16 year old daughter with asperger's
Q. Hi This is quite hard for me. My fiances daughter is nearly 16 and she has aspergers. I'm finding this very hard to cope with. Its like she's 10 always something wrong with her and when there is my partner has to drop everything and run for her,its ...
A. 23 September 2012: I see two possible scenarios:
You don't say if the two children you have are also his or not. If they are his, does this mean the 16 year old's demands have become frequent of late, or is it only now that they are starting to bug you?
If the ... (read in full...)
Ex of 18 years left me for another man, married him and 3 years later I still can't move on
Q. My partner of 18 years left me for another man. She gave me little explanation and I tried everything possible to resolve the situation but she didn't want to know. After three years she has married this man on the rebound. I desperately tryi...
A. 23 September 2012: To be left, stone cold, after 18 years, for somebody else, leave a bitter taste in many mouths. if there has been no contact since the day she left I can only assume the divorce was uncontested and there was no settlement, and no children ... (read in full...)
Seems my Bf and his friends bullied this girl at school. So why would she want me to know her connection to my Bf?
Q. girl from my boyfriend's past showed up at my shop and I don't know what to think of my bf's reaction to what she said! Sorry if this is long, but I don't know what to make of this! I work as a makeup artist/consultant at a mall. Any...
A. 23 September 2012: If X had simply terminated your conversation you would have been left even more in the dark.
Your boyfriend was a bully, and it seems he was one of the ring leaders and not just a brainless follower. It also appears he is either embarres... (read in full...)
How to regain my girlfriend's trust
Q. I while ago I broke up with my gf because my (former) best buddy lied to me and made me believe that she had tried to cheat on me with him. At the time she told me it was the opposite; that he was the one who wanted to be with her and could not take ...
A. 23 September 2012: I would be very surprised if this relationship can be fixed. You don't tell us what the time frame was, only that it was a while ago, the longer it gets between you behaving like a prize twat and now trying to correct your errors the harder it will ... (read in full...)
Is it dangerous territory if my platonic male friend is interested in me? My Bf doesn't like me seeing this other guy.
Q. My male coworker and I have become good friends. I never really hang out with him outside of work because he is really infatuated with me. It even caused some tension in the beginning, when I was just getting to know him. He's not my type at all a...
A. 23 September 2012: By allowing this colleague to pay for your lunch when you are aware he is interested in more than a platonic relationship, and when you are also aware your boyfriend is uncomfortable with the situation you are indeed, courting disaster.
You k... (read in full...)
He says I am the problem, but doesn't want me to get help!
Q. Well now where do i begin.. I've been married for 4 for starters total of 4 kids (2 from previous 10 yr relationship) I've known my husband for a total of 12 years altho we've only been together 6 we were friends before. My problem.. when he gets ...
A. 22 September 2012: Congratulations on taking the first step and making that appointment. The reason he is feeling threatened by this is that he knows he is in the wrong, and doesnt want you having that fact confirmed.
He is worried you are going to find out he i... (read in full...)
How can I tell my parents that when I finish university I want to take up the guitar professionally? They will have to pay $40,000 a year for me to do so.....
Q. Hi, this isn't a relationship question but I'd really like some outside opinions on this problem. I am currently attending university, studying criminology and going into my 3rd year. However back when I started 1st year I had started to play ...
A. 17 September 2012: Here's a novel idea, work part time to cover the costs of your studying part time. If you are reluctant to ask your parents to cover the costs it indicates finding the money could be a struggle for them.
Once you graduate from your current ... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 17 September 2012: Do all your online friends who are begging you to stay in that chat room know you are a fake person, a girl who deliberately created a male personna so that she could trick a girl, who already has massive problems in her life and so is in a ... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 17 September 2012: whats next is you listen to a woman in her 50s who has been exposed to online communities for longer than you have existed and you DONT go back into that chat room, people dont trust you, we all have our own way of expressing ourselves, even in ... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 16 September 2012:
Fatherly Advice is correct, they dont trust you. You will only be making things`worse for yourself and her. Any advice you give` will fall on deaf ears. Delete your account now and stay away from that chat room.
Dont ever consider mak... (read in full...)
Sleepless in Canada. In the non romantic way.
Q. I've been writting about this awhile now. My marriage is in trouble and everytime I try to talk about it with her I don't get answers. This always happens when we get anyone at fighting about what it is. It always gets thrown in my face ...
A. 16 September 2012: Romance and sex are two different things. It sounds to me she wants romancing, not sexing.
If you are under the impression any demonstrations of love on her part will automatically lead to sex you are sadly mistaken. My suggestion is that you... (read in full...)
Stuck in the middle, I'm feeling trapped!
Q. Hi guys, long story cut very short.. Basically I've been seeing this guy for just over 2years I havnt been in a proper relationship with him because he has a wife and he lives with her and all that malarkey! So I've basically just put up with being ...
A. 16 September 2012: I call bullshit!
He doesn't love you, if he did he would not be having a baby with another woman ... and that woman would not be his wife.
He is abusive and manipulating you. He is a cheater and a liar and an adulterer. How dare he complain abo... (read in full...)
Why does he stop replying for days?
Q. This guy that I like often text quite a lot, back and forth as the conversation is really substantial and funny. He flirts with me and tells me I'm his favourite person to talk to etc etc...however half way through a conversation on facebook or over ...
A. 16 September 2012: He stops in the middle of a text or online conversation because something else has come along to take his mind and him away from it, and if those conversations are not even important enough for him to refer to next time you and he are exchanging ... (read in full...)
I'm developing feelings for him but I worry he's holding something back. What's going on?
Q. I am in a new relationship after being divorced 2 years. I really like this new man in my life.... been dating about 3 weeks. we have alot in common and love spending time together. I think hes holding somethings back from me and i dont know what to ...
A. 16 September 2012: Its only three weeks, thats a mere 21 days, for some its not even a pay cycle, such a short period of time .... settle, you haven't even had time to really know each other yet, its probably even too soon for the honeymoon stage.
don't rush thi... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 16 September 2012: Oh Dear! I hope you now realise how bad it is to play with people's emotions and how dangerous lying can be. I would like to think that you will delete your fake profile and remove yourself from chat groups entirely for a while, so that you can take ... (read in full...)
Should I tell this girl friend what her ex boyfriend has already done? And that he's getting marriage, but not to her?
Q. SOOOOO my boyfriends(C) brother(D) WAS my friends(B - female) boyfriend. they broke up like 2-3 months ago. 2 weeks ago I found out that D was with another female and she moved into the HIS MOMS house with D and his siblings, mom and dad. They are ...
A. 16 September 2012: It depends on why your friend's relationship with him ended, and on how close you and she are, and the reasons why you are considering telling her and what you believe the result of you telling her will be.... (read in full...)
I got along great with my boyfriend's sister, until I found out she has gotten an abortion and doesn't seem to care about it.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. In that time of course, I've got to know his family and the person I've always got on with the most is his sister. Most of my boyfriend's family are quite rough (swear a lot, drink etc) but his ...
A. 15 September 2012: So you have changed your opinion of you boyfriend's sister based on rumour and gossip mongering. As for you and your boyfriend deciding her boyfriend is somehow pulling the strings based on conjecture, oh puleeez.
You said this in your original... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been having sex with another girl behind my back.Am I a fool for wanting to stay and make this work?
Q. My boyfriend has always treated me like a princess. He is one of my best friends; we have the same friends, the same beliefs, and have known each other for a little over four years. We've been dating for 3 months short of two years. We moved into a ...
A. 15 September 2012: He hasn't demonstrated much of an ability to be honest so far has he.
Here is a clue within your question .... "every time we talked he told me that he would never decieve me again"
What makes you think that this time he will be telling the t... (read in full...)
I am stuck in this awful place where I don't really prefer a divorce but staying in the marriage is difficult.
Q. My wife and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary in August. Instead of it being a joyous milestone, it was melancholy in nature from my point of view. We share a lot of love and joy or else we would have never made it this long, but o...
A. 15 September 2012: Edit the letter a little, remove the reference to Aunts at the bottom, address it to the universe or the tooth fairy or whoever, print it off and leave it on her pillow.
Then suggest counselling. Couples counselling. If she wont go, then go ... (read in full...)
My husband's children and grandchildren make me so unwelcome. What is the best way to handle this?
Q. What do you do when for seven years your husbands adult kids will not accept you? The x is nuts and my husband and I met when he had been divorced 4 years. My now husband's kids had been so mean to my daughter (26) till finally she will never h...
A. 15 September 2012: I just want to knock their heads together! But that is not going to help you, or these children who are missing out on so much love their grandfather and you want to give them.
Your husband needs to stand up to these bullies and call their bl... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's jealousy and paranoia are getting to me
Q. hey need abit of help in a situation i have found myself in Gf saw me flirt with a girl online , this convo only lasted about 10 min, but she got very upset and i told her it meant nothing its jut facebook and i would never EVER cross the line a...
A. 15 September 2012: You were going to break up with her due to her reaction to your flirting. And then you decided not to.
The fact she saw your flirting/cheating on line was just the start .... I have a feeling whatever happened during the two weeks between ... (read in full...)
I've known him for 5 years but only want to be friends, which I've told him. He can't seem to take the hint. What should I do now?
Q. I have a friend that I have known for about 5 years. I enjoy his company but nothing more. He told me a while ago that he has feelings for me and wanted us to be together. I made it very clear that even though I value his friendship ( which i ...
A. 15 September 2012: It would seem that when you told him you didn't want a relationship he didn't hear you.
Now you must SHOW him. Don't meet his family, if he asks, just say NO. Don't go any where with him if he thinks they are dates. Dont discuss anything... (read in full...)
I got along great with my boyfriend's sister, until I found out she has gotten an abortion and doesn't seem to care about it.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. In that time of course, I've got to know his family and the person I've always got on with the most is his sister. Most of my boyfriend's family are quite rough (swear a lot, drink etc) but his ...
A. 15 September 2012: Maybe she is a cold hearted bitch. But maybe she was told she SHOULD'T have children for some reason, a medical reason, maybe the text she sent her boyfriend wasn't sent flippantly but maybe those few words were all she could manage at the time.
... (read in full...)
My coworker and I had an affair but now he doesn't seem interested anymore. What's the problem?
Q. Hello All on this forum. I have a problem i really need help with. I think i have been foolish. A month or so ago i had sexual intercourse with a man from my office of work place. Sure he chased me and flirted with me and text me more than my husba...
A. 15 September 2012: Whut? WHUT WHUT WHUT?
Let me make sure I am reading you right, you are married, your co worker is married, he flirted, you liked the flirting, your husband was out of town, his wife was out of town so you had sex. And again.
Now you are full... (read in full...)
He is the man of my dreams and we share a bed together, but he will not have sex with me. Any and all advice is needed.
Q. I use to think I knew everything but this time I am so confused and in desperate need of help. I am a gay male who has met the man of my dreams, someone who is sweet loving, responsible and I absolutely adore him. There is no doubt in my mind that ...
A. 15 September 2012: I can be cynical when it comes to people under 30. Are you showering him with all the good things in life, little gifts, good food, is he working, does he support himself, who owns the house, and the bed you are sleeping in, are you totally 100% ... (read in full...)
Is it a bad idea to get involved with an alcoholic?
Q. Is it possible or even advisable to have a relationship with a guy who has a serious drinking problem? I care for him deeply and he says he loves me.... but he is occasionally abusive and I have always stood up for myself but I just feel that I am ...
A. 15 September 2012: Honestly, the only answer is YES. You will never be his priority, drink will always come first, his abuse of you will increase, his social skills will decrease, you wont be able to have any social life with him, his ability to have sex will lessen, ... (read in full...)
My neighbor told me he saw my girlfriend sneaking around with my friend. They said no way. Who do I believe?
Q. A neighbour/casual friend of mine has told me that my girlfriend has cheated on me with one of our good friends. He said he saw him leave the house one day when i was out, and that the guy also told him he had slept with her a while back and that ...
A. 14 September 2012: Is your friend really dumb enough to tell your neighbour stuff he, (your friend) slept with your girlfriend? Does your girlfriend's friend dislike her friend, (your girlfriend) so much she would drop her in it with your neighbour like this?
Ask y... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is hanging out with his ex tomorrow and I know he still has feelings for her
Q. Today my boyfriend picked me up from work and he seen his friend driving around they also dated in the past but agreed to be friends. That is fine with me, the problem I have is when they pulled over to talk I was going to sign my time out sheet at ...
A. 11 September 2012: If he still has feelings for her he hasn't moved on, if he has moved on he doesn't still have feelings for her.
But you are right to be concerned, if she has just broken up with her boyfriend she may flutter her eyelids in a helpless female w... (read in full...)
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